NOTE: I want to make sure that it is known that the background, while it appears maybe a bit scratchy is meant to be that way, it's a turbulent image, so I didn't want it too smooth, just fyi, so it's understood that it was deliberate and not me being messy and violating the rule about neatness. I also hope that you can excuse the wing watermark on the image, it's in place solely for security reasons and isn't intended to be part of the composition.

WHEW! I TOTALLY underestimated how much my lingering cold was slowing me down! x_X

but it appears I made it...

anyways, this is a somewhat abstract illustration of the predominate inner struggle of my OC, Lance - the explanation behind this image is pretty well attached to his background description - which is WAY too long to include here all at once - so I would actually recommend reading his Bio I have posted on here first to better understand some of the stuff referenced here, like his past and stuff, here's the link - http://theotaku.com/worlds/beyondtheskygate/view/92367/character_description_-_lance/

Explanation:

I used the posture and his expression to show how really inside, His "Want" here, is the forgiveness and freedom from the guilt that he bares for his past "sins", he wants to heal and move on and try to have a normal life, so it is to be said he is fighting for it and reaching out for that end with his outstretched hand.

however, at the same time, the memories and guilt of the terror he caused and the atrocities in his past constantly pull him down, tearing at him and making him weaker - illustrated by the chains fastened to him and wrapping around him.
and at the same time, while he wants that forgiveness and redemption, while he's reaching for it with one hand almost calling for help, he's holding onto those same chains with his other hand.
this is because another, equally deep-seated part of him, believes he doesn't deserve it. he believes himself truly guilty of the slaughter he took part in in his past, and therefore deserving only of the highest levels of punishment.
so it's sort of like two battles are going on in this thing - the physical one between his body and the chains, and the internal one between what he wants with his heart and soul, and what his essentially poisoned mind believes he deserves.

...and yes, he is crying, not bleeding from his eyes, it's hard to see from so far away, but what's actually supposed to be happening is the tears are mixing with the blood from further up on his head. Hence why they appear slightly red-ish.

Technical Info

Approx. completion time: Unknown, guess would be over 8 hours or so, spread over two days.
Media Used: Sketching: 4H drawing pencil, then refined with 0.5 mechanical pencil. Inking: 005 Sakura Micron finepoint pen, and 01 Staedtler pigment liner finepoint pen. Color: Mainly Prismacolor colored pencils, with some supplementing of Derwent Colored pencils (I unfortunately found that many of my Prismas were broken or too short to use -__-') and some finishing with a Prismacolor colorless blender pencil.

useless, somewhat humorous info - I almost made myself sick doing the chains I was straining my eyes so hard! o_O lol I officially hate chains!! I don't know what I was thinking...I think all the fevers have maybe made me a little insane @_@