Chapter Nine
GTFO Genius
The young boy stepped off the airplane and into the terminal, breathing in the foreign air. It was his first time outside of Europe, but that did not matter; he was on a mission of grave importance. Giving his dull, nearly grey, blond hair a run-through with his fingers, he began navigating over towards the baggage claim. Unfortunately for him, there was a watchful security guard on duty who stopped him in his tracks.
“Hey, kid, where’s your mom?” the security guard asked with genuine concern in his voice.
“I’m not here with my mom. Please let me get going. I have important things to do and you are making me late.”
“Heh, you sure do say funny things for a kid your age. How old are you, anyways?”
“Ten, now leave me be.”
“I’ve got a daughter your age! Her and I almost always seem to get separated from each other when we’re out. I’m sure that whoever you’re with must be worried sick about you! Come on… let’s get you to the Lost and Foun…”
The next thing the security guard knew, he was standing in the men’s bathroom—terribly at a loss as to how he got there and with the lost child completely out of sight.
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The boy stood in front of the classroom, a proud look on his face. His future classmates stared at him in wonder, not quite sure whether or not to gawk at the fact he was a transfer student, European or reportedly ten-years-old.
“Class, I would like to introduce to you a new student,” the teacher said. “He has come here from Germany to study abroad."
“My name is actually Hans, but you may call me Ryuunosuke,” the boy said. He bowed deeply and smiled widely. Most of the girls in the class immediately sighed at his impossibly-high cuteness levels while most of the boys began looking him over as a critical rival. The boy was already good-looking for his age and that situation was only going to become more pronounced as time went on.
“Alright then,” the teacher said. “The only spare seat available is right in front of Sawada, so that’ll have to do. Now I need to go back to the headmaster’s to talk to him about something, so just self-study while I’m gone.”
The very second the teacher closed the door, the class began chatting amongst themselves. Hans went and sat down in front of Kiyohiko, immediately turning around all smiles.
“Hi there Eleventh!” he said cheerily. “It’s such an honor to finally meet you in person! I’m Hans Elsner and I’ve come here to be your right-hand man!”
“Wha…?” Kiyohiko gasped, not quite sure how to answer such a claim. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, you know…” Hans said. “Every Vongola boss needs a right-hand man! Well, look no further, ‘cause I’ve come to let you stop your searching and fill the position.”
“Oh dear God… who did Dad send now…?” Kiyohiko groaned, allowing his forehead to collide with the desk. “He’s just a kid…”
“Hey, I may be just a kid, but I got all the schooling of a high school student!” Hans retorted. “Don’t you dare underestimate me!”
“You look familiar… not to mention that your name seems to ring a bell,” Haruhi said, bringing her face within centimeters of Hans’s. The boy jumped back at the invasion of his personal space and frowned.
“You must be the competition,” he pouted. Haruhi giggled and ruffled his hair.
“You’re cute,” she said. Hans pushed her off and materialized a slingshot out of seemingly nowhere.
“Don’t touch me,” Hans growled.
“Kid, you gotta treat ladies with a little more respect than that,” Masaru said. “If not, then you’ll extremely find yourself in the doghouse before you know it.”
“I am not here for the ladies, but here to become the Eleventh’s Right Hand,” Hans muttered, putting the slingshot away and facing forward in his seat. “Get that through your dolt head right now.”
“I take that back, since it seems like you’re extremely rude all-around,” Masaru frowned. Hans smirked smugly in his seat as the teacher came back into the room and class officially went underway.
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It was not long into the day before Masaru was good and ready to punch Hans’s lights out. The kid seemed to know every single answer to all the questions before the teachers even asked them. In fact, the only times when Hans did not seem to outshine the rest of the class with his intellect was during Physical Education, where he was the slowest runner in the entire class. Coach even let the kid only run half a mile instead of the full mile the rest of the class went, saying it would be cruel to make him go the entire way.
“I don’t like him… not one extreme bit!” Masaru said as he was walking home with Kiyohiko, Haruhi and Damiano. “The kid’s too full of himself; he’s headed on the right way to having his face shoved in a toilet.”
“Now aren’t you ready to make the new kid feel welcome…?” Damiano deadpanned. “He’s only a kid, you know.”
“Well, I think he’s cute,” Haruhi grinned. “He’s like a little class mascot or something like that!”
“I still extremely don’t like him,” Masaru said. He was about to go on, but was stopped dead in his tracks as they turned the corner onto the street. Hans was sitting right outside the gate to Masaru and Kiyohiko’s house, immediately perking up at the sight of the teens.
“Eleventh! There you are! I was looking for you all around after school, but you weren’t there, so I thought I would just wait for you here!”
“How do you know where I live…?” Kiyohiko asked, half of him not wanting to even know the answer to that question.
“I told him,” Reborn said. The infant hitman appeared on the top of the wall dressed in a rather stereotypical Bavarian outfit complete with lederhosen and a little hat. “Hans is going to become part of your family, Yohi.”
“Stop dragging people into this!” Kiyohiko snapped. “Masaru-nii, Haruhi-san, Damiano-san, Saki-san… now Hans-kun?! Just stop recruiting people, alright!?”
“Oh, Reborn didn’t recruit me,” Hans said cheerily. “I came here wanting to be your Right Hand; he had nothing to do with it.”
“Great… he’s willingly insane…” Kiyohiko muttered, walking right past Hans and going straight inside the house. Hana and Haru were sitting in the kitchen chatting when he came in.
“Hey there kid; how was school?” Hana asked.
“Reborn’s at it again,” the teen muttered. He went towards the refrigerator and began rummaging through for a snack. “Recruited the new kid at school to be in my Family; at this pace the entire class is going to be Mafia by summer vacation.”
“LET ME GO!!” screamed Hans from the hallway. The rest of the gang meandered into the kitchen, Hans being carried in by Haruhi within the grasp of a huge bear-hug. The kid was squirming and wriggling in a futile attempt to escape.
“Is that the new kid…?” Haru asked in near-disbelief. “He seems a little young.”
“Twerp’s ten,” Masaru frowned. He took the boy from Haruhi and held him up by the collar. “All the way in from Germany, apparently.”
“I’m warning you…!” Hans said, grasping around for his slingshot. “Don’t underestimate me! I’ll knock your block off!”
“Haha! That explains it all!” Hana laughed. “Don’t you think the kid looks a bit familiar Haru?”
“Well, yes, but…” Haru was about to continue, but was cut off suddenly by Hana.
“Think of the hair… the temperament… something tells me this kid’s not a ten-year-old…”
“No…!”
“Yeah!”
“Hana-san, what are you and Yamamoto-san talking about?”
“Oh, nothing much Yohi-kun,” Haru said, patting the teen on the head. “Just some gossip for us old-timers.”
“Gotcha!” Hans laughed. He had finally gotten a hold of his slingshot and was able to fling something at Masaru’s face. Whatever it was, it exploded on impact and left the young man with a severely charred face.
“What in the…?!” Masaru yelped, dropping Hans. He kicked the kid so that he landed on the other side of the kitchen. “That extremely hurt, you little punk!”
“Oh, he must be his kid if that’s what he does,” Hana observed, her tone emotionless.
“…must be whose kid, Hana-san?” Kiyohiko asked. “What’s going on?”
“Yohi, I would like you to get used to the idea that Hans Elsner is going to be in your Family,” Reborn said, appearing on the table. Still in his Bavarian outfit, the infant was eating a meal of wurst, kraut and potatoes… as if to rub it all in. “He is most suitable for a position within your Family.”
“He’s also lying about his age,” Hana commented.
“H-H-Hey! Who told you, ya old hag?!” Hans snapped. Hana’s lip curled into a sneer.
“I figured it out, brat. You’re eight… nine at the oldest. Never did keep track, since Gokudera insisted on keeping you away from all the rest of us; why bother?”
“What, you mean Goku-oji…?” Haruhi asked, rather confused. “I didn’t know he ever got married.”
“Gokudera Hayato is married to the Mafia, but keeps a residence with Daria Elsner in Bavaria,” Reborn explained. “She is a self-made business mogul, also ‘married’ to her work, and Hans is the result of their relationship. Although he was kept away from the Mafia until now at the request of his mother, he now has the schooling of a high school student thanks to his heavy tutoring and powerhouse inherited smarts.”
“Mom and Dad gave me a choice to either go to Japan or to stay at home and make the Tenth find someone else, but I would’ve had to go and work my way up through Mom’s company and that doesn’t sound even half as fun as the Mafia!” Hans said with a glint in his eye. “I never knew what my dad did for a living and now that I know, I want to be just like him!”
“If Daria-san’s your mom, then you must be Goku-oji’s son!” Haruhi grinned. “You’re as good as my little brother!”
“What are you talking about…?” Hans asked, now the confused one. “You’re just an annoying idiot girl.”
“Signore Gokudera is Signorina Haruhi’s godfather,” Damiano explained. He tried to use a calm tone to prevent Hans from going completely ballistic. “Signorina Haruhi figures that is enough reason to find you her younger brother.”
“Can we keep him, Mom…? Can we? Please…?” Haruhi begged her mother. Haru was ready to burst into tearful laughter.
“I don’t want to stay with you!” Hans barked. “I’ll stay with the Eleventh!”
“Not in my house…!” Hana ordered, shivering at the thought of a small child running around everywhere.
“Yeah… our house, not yours!” Masaru frowned, standing next to Hana adamantly. At that, Haruhi swept Hans up in her arms and swung him around in a tight hug.
“That settles it! I’ve always wanted a little brother!” Haruhi gave the kid an extra squeeze, cracking the kid’s vertebrae in the process.
“You’re gonna break my ribs… idiot girl!” Hans squeaked. At Damiano’s urging, Haruhi let go of Hans. The boy crumpled to the ground in pain.
At that point, Kiyohiko wanted to run up to his room and slam the door behind him… but instead opted for helping Hans along towards the bathroom to make sure nothing serious was damaged.
