World under construction! It will eventually be a kind of creative adventure guidebook!
World under construction!
It will eventually be a kind of creative adventure guidebook!
World under construction! It will eventually be a kind of creative adventure guidebook!
World under construction!
It will eventually be a kind of creative adventure guidebook!
We appeared in a field covered in dead, yellow grass, with some patches of exposed dirt appearing here and there. In the center was a glowing glob thing, it reminded me of the blob in the Infin world where those scientists came out of, but I shook off the notion and walked up to it.
" You sure about this, First?" Second asked me, as he walked up towards the glob too. I nodded in response, " yes... I was never meant to be a leader, Second... I can barely even remember the Infin world, let alone care for others... I can barely take care of myself." Second put his hand on my shoulder, " you mean our world, First... stop acting like you're not one of us, I can't bear to see you this way." I took Second's hand off my shoulder as I responded, " this is how it should be. The strong should lead, not the weak..." Without another word, I summoned my Infin Heart, to pour my essence out into the glob... the glob which held the essences of the seven Infin. My heart appeared in her humanoid child form, her short red hair flowing in the breeze. I noticed she still retained the miquote ears from my previous mental incarnations, and I frowned. Heart held onto her ears, like she still wanted to keep them despite me not liking cats. Second saw her and responded, " aw, your heart has lil kitty ears, can I pet her?" I looked at Second, appalled... I didn't think he was a... cat person. Second went over without my permission and petted her on the head between the miquote ears. My heart purred, which I cringed in response... this was just too disturbing a sight.
Second smiled sheepishly as he backed away to his spot. " Sorry, I really like cats..." Second said as he blushed, " you're lucky that your heart has a cat-girl form... my heart looks the same as me." I blushed furiously and stuttered, " neh, no! I hate cats! My heart...she's a miquote, a fox girl! Not a, uh, cat girl... definitely no!" I quickly commanded my heart to let out my essence to the glob, which she resisted for a moment, but did after my persuasion. When it was over, I quickly had my heart withdraw into me and backed away from Second. My hair then turned from a pinkish-red, to a ebony black once it lost it's Infin essence... I had given more of my essence, then all the other Infin... desperate to cease my Infin identity and just be a normal human. After Second gave a fraction of his essence, the glob reformed itself into a railroad crossing light post.
The railroad crossing light post, which was to be the new Infin, Tenth, hummed to life and moved up and down his railroad guard planks as if they were arms. The red lights, which I assumed were his eyes, seemed to blink as they glowed. Tenth then looked towards me and started to talk. " I...I am Tenth.... who are you?" I looked away, feeling a bit odd that this thing was to replace me. Second spoke up in my silence, " she's First... I'm Second. Nice to meet you, Tenth." Tenth didn't once look away from me, and said, " oh. I understand I am to replace you, First? Does that make you sad?" I finally turned to meet his gaze, and shook my head no, " no. This is how it should be. Please take care of these Infin in my place, and be a good leader... Infin of Light, Tenth." I started to walk away hastily, and heard Second speak up. " First... no matter what you do or where you go... always know that your Infin heart will never change... you'll always be First, no matter what others may come to say of you... always First, always an Infin. Never forget that... you'll always be my Infin of Light..." I could barely hear Second's last words as he mumbled them, I could tell he was embarrassed to say them... and I blushed bright red as I ran away from him and Tenth. " Second... you fool... I'm... I'm nothing, please forget about me...everyone, please forget about me!!" I thought in my mind as I teleported away from that place.
Sometime later, I found out that very place, was where the Infin first landed as they came to this world... a world of dreams where the Formless could live in peace. That was what I wanted...
( This is the last of the details on the Infin. As First gave up her identity as an Infin, all the data will now be lost to oblivion. Thus the three titles iwth Infin in their name will also be deleted from this world within a few weeks time.)
As we traveled through the glowing blue forest, the keyblade entity looked up at me and smiled. I looked back, curious as to why the sudden change in expression. The keyblade entity then on cue started talking, " do you finally recognize me, Kairi?" I shook my head no, he sighed, but continued talking, " I kinda figured you would say no... though a small part of me wanted you to remember by yourself." He paused for a moment, and took out a P-shaped hoverboard from midair, and jumped onto it. He flew above me in a circle and said, "now do you remember?" Awe-struck, I suddenly remembered who he was... " you're... you're Phi? My first OC?" I stuttered in surprise. The keybladed entity smiled and nodded yes, before landing and withdrawing his hoverboard. " Took you long enough, had you not remembered when I took out that hoverboard, I don't know what I'd do besides say my name." Phi shrugged as he put a hand on my shoulder. " Now that that's finally cleared up, guess I can continue with my story and why I'm here." Phi stretched his arms, and I decided to speak up before he continued. " But you're me...?" I said confused. Phi sighed in response and shook his head, " no I'm me. You're Kairi. We're not the same, you're a girl, I'm a boy." I started to retort, but he shushed me. " You've got to get over the past Kairi, and start living your life in the future. So you were biologically born male, and society saw you as a male for these past 27 years... but they never really saw you for who you are." I started to tear up as Phi was talking, he noticed and continued. " Now you are a girl whom never really got to grow up and experience life first-hand, lost and misguided. There's still hope though... you are the Infin of Light after all, you have an endless amount of hope and strength deep in your Infin heart. Use it to guide you through these times, and someday, maybe even use it to help others." Tears were streaming down my face, and Phi nodded as he said, " let it out. You've kept it bottled up for a long time." After a time as I cried, my OC, Phi, held onto me...reassuring me things would be alright.
As I dried the last of my tears, Phi continued his speech, " now for the final part. Before I say it, know that it was Second whom brought me to life to meet you... and to tell you of these things. Second really cares about you Kairi... he wants you to succeed in this life and not give up. But in order for you to keep going, you'll need to abandon the past and start anew." Phi put his hand in my hand as he steadied himself, " please, say my full name..." he said as he looked deep into my eyes. I paused... I didn't want to say his full name since it was my full birth name. I looked down as I softly said, " Philip..." Philip nodded and said, " now... say I am Kairi, a girl whom is different from the boy named Philip, I will live my life now in truth with no more lies." I started to tear up again and started to talk..." I am....I am.... I can't do it." Phi looked deeply saddened by this statement... as he said, " I'm sorry..." as he faded away, leaving me along in the Mystic Woods.
A figure came out from behind one of the blue trees of the Mystic Woods, I knew who he was without looking... it was Second. I could feel his presence the moment I came this deep into the woods with Phi... I felt shameful that I still couldn't accept myself, especially in front of him. Second sighed as he looked to the side, rather then look directly at me. I looked down at his feet, which were a sliver of an inch off the ground... Infins typically hover in the air, but Second always wanted to give the appearance as an average human, as did I back then. Second sighed again before speaking, still looking away from me, " you always did like stories didn't you? Let me tell you a story. It's a story about nine children... nine children whom had no mothers or fathers... just each other and their infinite lives. Each of these nine immortal children had all the time in the world, but at a price... they could never change, never grow older, never learn, their personalities as solidified as diamond is." Second looked at me with tears in his eyes. I knew where this was going. Second continued, " the first-born child, had a dream... a vision... that there was something more then the natural world around her... something deeper and more meaningful then she nor the other children could ever feel. This first born child, wanting to spare the other children of this newfound knowledge and feeling, kept it to herself... but eventually, those feelings and emotions became a massive glob of consciousnesses... all built up from being silenced. This glob of consciousnesses, then manifested itself before this girl and the other children." Second chuckled a little as he continued, " naturally the other children were surprised by this new creature. As the glob constantly shifted forms and hues, the children decided to name it the Formless. For a long while, the children didn't know what to do with the Formless... it would constantly shift, but it would stay in one place... constantly scream and make random sounds, but it never spoke. It was then that the girl whom indirectly created this mass of consciousnesses, came forward that she had created it... and as if on cue, five strange creatures that looked like older versions of the children, came out of the blob." Second paused as if waiting for something. I realized what he was waiting for, and spoke up. " and the five creatures became what is known to this world as scientists." Second nodded grimly in response, "and what did these scientists do? " I sighed as I said, " they built numerous structures; floating cities, numerous houses, railways, carnivals... tore down many trees, and dried up many rivers to make room for more..." Second laughed a hollow laugh, as he spoke up, " we were all excited then, huh? Nine children, seeing all these new gadgets and gizmos about... just like the children of this world even... and then what happened?" I sighed as I continued, " eventually all the excitement died down... it all felt lonely, just a total of fourteen entities to share one massive infinite world. The scientists soon figured out how they were created, and proposed a solution to this loneliness... create more of them from the blob." Second sighed, as he said, " that's where things fell apart huh? Or maybe it was already too late when you brought the Formless into our world." I flinched a bit as he said this. " We all believed in you, First... you were like our leader... discovering all these different things. Yet you were always timid and lacked self-esteem... funny how we thought that would change... that you'd become a strong leader in this world, that we all could finally change and become something more then just stagnant children." Second sighed once more, " but you never did change... ever since you went to sleep and formed the world we live in now... no matter how many times you incarnated in this world as a human... those beings that could change, that could age... it would always be the same, as it is now." I looked down again at Second's feet before saying, " I'm sorry." Second sighed as he shook his head... " so what's the plan now, First?" I looked into Second's eyes and said, " you know the plan Ninth has?" Second paused as he looked with concern into my eyes as he said, " yes."
" We should go with his plan..." I said with sadness.
( A long time has passed since I last looked into my heart and saw my true self. I went through many different adventures since then, met many people... even though this all happened in my head... it all felt real, like it actually happened in some form...some way.)
I followed an abandoned railroad way in the darkness, blue-ish trees with golden leaves illuminating the way on the sides of the railway. I knew the name of the forest around me... the Keyblade entity had even reassured me it was what I thought it was... but I still refused to believe it... I refused to believe everything in my head. " It'll make an interesting story... all this random stuff in my head at least." I said to myself as I continued walking through this path.
The Keyblade entity had told me to follow this railroad to it's end, to meet the next Infin so I could better understand myself. I didn't want to understand myself, I just wanted to go back to the real world, to forget all of this like a negative dream. At the end of the railroad, there was a huge chasm... I hesitated, then looked into the abyss... there was nothing but darkness. I turned to look away, giving up on the venture... when suddenly a huge dark misty blob rose out of the pit, and covered everything in pitch black.
When I opened my eyes, I found an inverted environment around me, the trees once blue... were now greyish with a red splattered color all over them. The leaves themselves were black, and everything else was in black and white. Before me was a floating figure that looked like a child... which I immediately felt was an Infin. The child looked like an ordinary young African American boy... but like all the other Infin I met up until then, something felt off with him. The Infin rose his head up and looked at me, and gestured for me to talk first... I hated talking first, let alone talking at all. I hesitated to try and find words to say.
" Uhm... my name is Kairi... the Keyblade entity told me to come here... and uh, speak with chu about who I am?" I said, constantly stuttering and feeling foolish. The Infin laughed at my embarrassment and hesitation, before speaking himself.
" Still the same as ever... the Infin of Light...First..." chuckled the Infin, before he sneered at me. He spread his arms out, and shook them at me while he said, " why does the traitor, seek to speak with me now? Has Second stopped coddling you, so you now seek reassurence from me... his friend? I was never a friend to you, First. I only tolerated you, because Second did!" The Infin shook his head in fury as he continued yelling at me, " I actually even tried to convince myself that you'd actually become a proper leader through this plan that you suggested, and Second supported... I was a fool!"
The Infin reopened his eyes and looked at me, smiling deviously. " Well now... I will no longer play the fool. First... you betrayed us all, you chose the Formless over us Infin- your kin! But we'll suffer your betrayal no longer... I, the Infin of Darkness, Ninth... and the other six reasonable Infin... have combined part of our essences to create a new Infin... a new leader... your equal... no, better! The new Infin of Light, Tenth!! He will soon judge your actions along with your sheltered Formless... and end the torment from those cycles you so created! All we need is Second's essence to finish His completion!" Ninth stared at me for a moment, then formed a blade of darkness in his hand before saying..." or... we could use your essence in his place!"
Ninth lunged at me as he said this with blade in hand, but I summoned a stained-glass pillar of ice by reflex to block him, and retreated from his realm.
The keyblade entity awaited me outside, took one look at me and said, " Close call huh? Sorry I can't accompany you on these pilgrimages..." The keyblade entity then bowed, and held out his hand. " You're so close now... we'll go together the rest of the way... I have a lot to tell you about still."
" So, this was my original body?" I said quietly to my heart. My heart nodded in response. I sighed loudly while looking at the pale girl with long red hair in the hospital bed. There was a woman next to her, holding the girl's hand as she lay asleep, surrounded by stuffed animals in the bed she lay in. " That can't be... I was never born a girl..." I said with tears flowing down my eyes. My heart held my hand, just like the woman held the hand of the girl. I looked again toward my heart. " When I die in real life... will I wake back up as her?" I said after drying my eyes with my sleeve. Again my heart nodded in silent response. My heart could speak, but through emotion only, not verbal words... and only I could "hear" her words... nobody else could.
" Then shouldn't I end my life to return to that world? I'm tired of not feeling like myself... like everything is a dream..." I said while shaking my head. My heart proceeded to hug me, trying to dissolve my negative emotions no doubt. It was weird thinking this girl with pale skin and short red hair was my heart... she looked nothing like a heart, let alone even remotely like me irl... but whenever she held onto me or hugged me... I could feel this weird feeling she was me... just in another form. " So chu saying I shouldn't go back yet? That I still have a duty to this world? What could that possibly be? Anybody can do what I can..." I said while my heart continued to embrace me. We stood there floating in the abyss, seeing this memory like a projector of light against the darkness. It all felt so real, even though I knew this was all just in my head... that it couldn't possibly be true... yet it felt like it was...
" If I'm to continue living in this world... I'm going to have to assume a similar form as this to finally keep my mind at peace, huh?" I said while closing my eyes. I didn't have to open my eyes to tell my heart was sad with her next response. " Sigh... why couldn't I have just been born this way then?!-" I paused. Just as I spoke, I knew why I had to go the hard route to become myself... it's because the first attempt had failed... I shook my head at this thought. I didn't want to believe the reason that was in my heart... so I just decided to accept my current reality... that I just had to proceed. Nothing would change anyways, even if I believed in that answer... it would only upset others irl.
" It's just so hard... erasing my pre-conceptions and fully believing in chu... my heart... I just want to be myself and be with people... no longer alone..."
I said as I hugged my heart while she hugged me.
I just wanted to go back... but I knew I had to do whatever I was supposed to do in this world... despite all the warnings... I just have to embrace the future...
- Pakonitan ( A.k.a Kairi.)
When Wanderer reappears, the barrier shimmers before allowing her inside.
She created the barrier before she vanished with little explanation, leaving me confused, frustrated, and more than a little frightened. My feelings in my previous life were never so intense - I could barely contain my fear pacing and twitching within the barrier. I shouldn't leave it outside of her protection, she told me - it would keep out most threatening presences that would now want my blood.
I hadn't realized until recently, but yes, I must now have blood, being a human girl. Is it red? It's probably red. Human blood is red. But everything else about me is bleached a pale white from my transformation - is it possible that my blood would run colorless as well?
I've just been considering scratching at myself to see what would come out - and trying not to become dizzy at the thought - when the barrier shimmers purple and she reappears, her tentacles furled protectively around a bundle of something. I can just barely see it through the wispy smoke that makes up her body.
"What happened? Why did you have to leave so suddenly?"
"Strange events have been occurring, Isla," she sighs, still cradling her bundle. There's something small growing within it.
It's a baby. But she wasn't born. She's forming, the way a Magical Girl forms, but I've never heard of a Magical Girl forming as an infant before.
"I made her," Wanderer says breathlessly, "But I didn't expect her to be a baby, and now even I'm not sure what to do. But we need to keep her safe until - until she's ready to fulfill her purpose."
Her purpose? But what purpose can an infant fulfill? She can't hold up her own head.
A surge of unfamiliar emotions overtakes me, similar to when I found the sentient beings in the forest, and I'm overcome with the urge to hold the child. "Does she have a name?"
"Her name is Equilibrium, and she could be the source of a lot of trouble, but we need her," says Wanderer. She's oozing thick goo and it takes me a minute to realize that it's coming from her many eyes. She's crying. "Wherever we go, she comes. We have to protect her."
TO BE CONTINUED.