- Created By bellpickle
Okay just saw a bunch of stuff that really pissed me off, so I'm gonna rant about it here
So I caught wind of a study that was popularized via the Internet a few years back that said that people, especially men, who lose their virginity at a relatively late age are more likely to experience sexual dysfunction/dissatisfaction later in life. Cue a bunch of jackass comments from guys saying "I lost my virginity when I was a preteen and every other guy on Earth should do so too!"
I called bullshit on that finding and did a little digging. And I found out that most of the websites that reported on the study had COMPLETELY left out a whole bunch of information that really puts the study's findings in perspective! Excerpts below:
The researchers, who looked at data from the 1996 National Sexual Health Survey, conducted by the Center for AIDS Prevention Studies (CAPS) at the University of California, San Francisco, also found that men and women who begin having sex in their early teens had their share of problems...
...sexuality experts not affiliated with the study agree that it is too early to draw a direct causal link about those who have sex later in life...
...For women, she said, the message that "good girls" should not engage in or enjoy sex may cause women to shut down sexually, leading to dysfunction.
"One of the many dysfunctions that arises is that women never develop the ability to ask for what they want, which leaves them open for life-long disappointment, desire disorders, orgasmic dysfunction, and worse -- they're ripe for abuse and violence," she said.
For men, the opposite message -- that "real men score" -- may lead to negative mindsets both among those who lose their virginity early and those who become sexually active only later -- mindsets that impact their ability to perform sexually.
Because of the intimate link between the psyche and sexual performance, some sexuality experts say the results of these conditions most likely bring about sexual dysfunction through their psychological impacts.
It just pisses me off because people used the truncated findings of this study to promote the exact sort of "real men score" mindset that the study argues is harmful to men! I hate the Internet!!!!
Though who knows how much I'll actually use it seeing as how I don't even really like Twitter, lol.
Anyway, here's the link if you feel like following me: https://twitter.com/bellpickle :)
Just last week, a Florida jury acquitted a man who killed his wife’s lover in his home after firing three shots into his head and back. But just months after Trayvon’s death, Florida’s notorious Stand Your Ground law did not spare Marissa Alexander, who fired a mere warning shot into the wall during a violent incident with her husband.
--Florida Judge Rejected Stand Your Ground Defense For Black Woman Who Fired Warning Shot During Domestic Violence
This is disgusting. What kind of message is this sending to domestic violence victims everywhere, that a women who fires warning shots can be sentenced to TWENTY YEARS when men who have killed in the name of self-defense can walk away scott free?
(Just as a warning, there are personal, possibly triggering details below re: abuse & domestic violence.)
A lot of the reason why I've become so feminist-y in recent years is because these issues have a lot of personal significance to me. My mother has been physically and emotionally abused by men all her life. One time when I was little, my father punched my mother in the middle of a dispute and bruised her in the face. Later, when things had settled down a bit, my uncle told my mother to try to forgive him because he "isn't a bad guy."
My mother is over 60-years old now and not once has any of her abusers ever apologized to her. Not once. And why should they when most people are so readily willing to forgive them or even defend them? Why should they feel sorry when victims of abuse are routinely told to "get over it" or that they somehow "deserved" it or that they're "disgracing" themselves and their family by even talking about it? Why should they apologize when the victims are essentially the ones who are punished for the crimes of their abusers?
Of course, my mother isn't the only person in the world who has experienced this. There are countless women AND men with stories like this. Sadly, the ruling from yesterday is just another link in a long chain.
It's funny because there are about ten serious topics I could write about right now, but instead I'm posting this.
EDIT: While I'm here, I should mention that Dangan Ronpa is great and everyone should play it! <3
I'm sorry but that was just awkward. What did you expect to achieve by telling me that? Why did you even feel the need to say that in the first place? Did it ever cross your mind that I might feel creeped out hearing a much older man, who I don't even know, say that to me? Or that I might not even like men to begin with?
And yes, I reacted agreeably to your comment because frankly, it's easier and safer for me to just play along rather than show how I truly feel: annoyed and offended.