So, here I am answering the call of The Writers Bloc once again. This is a character I've had for a while but haven't done much with because I'm still figuring out his first story. I like him, though -- or, more specifically, I like screwing with him. He's like my personal sitcom character. :)
EDIT: I guess I should warn people that the monologue is swear-heavy. Stay away if that stuff offends you, I guess.
Basics:
Name: Eduardo Villanueva, Jr.
Nicknames: Eddie
Age/Birthday: 17/January 1
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 165 lbs.
Hair: Short and black
Eyes: Brown
Relationships:
Family: Father -- Eduardo Villanueva, Sr., 42; Mother -- Sofia Villanueva, 39; Sister -- Gabriela Villanueva, 13
Significant other or prospects: None, although he secretly has eyes for a girl named Alicia in his English class. He will never admit this in front of anyone, because he's a high school guy, and, therefore, retarded.
Closest friends: Stanley Martin, 17, a fellow high school senior and his best friend since elementary school. Stan is the only person patient enough to deal with Eddie when he's being an idiot. Stan is also a big guy, so Eddie likes to pretend Stan is his muscle.
Enemies: Christine Berkshire, 16, who is essentially Eddie in female form, which is why he hates her.
Any other relationships: His AP Government teacher, Mr. Samuels, is a major mentor, though Eddie would never admit this, because, again, retarded.
Personality and Beliefs:
Religion: Raised Catholic, falls asleep in church.
Likes: Holidays, aimless wandering, and leading people around.
Dislikes: School, being bossed around, and people prying too deeply into his life.
Three strengths: He's a quick thinker, although he's not exactly smart all the time. Mostly serves him well when he gets in trouble and has to think of a way out of it. Eddie also has a strong will -- when he's got his mind of something, there is little that can be done to dissuade him from accomplishing that goal. The only problem is that he sets his mind on accomplishing dumb things. Lastly, he is intensely loyal, though the list of people he is loyal to isn't very long.
Three weaknesses: Eddie's biggest weakness is his arrogance; he thinks very highly of himself and lowly of everyone else. This leads to him being pretty damn stubborn. He doesn't think he's right about things -- he knows he is. This causes him to get into many dumb arguments and waste the time of all involved.
Talents: Has a way of speaking that gets people who don't know him to trust him, even though 99 percent of the population shouldn't place their faith in him. He's also quite good at plotting and scheming.
Pessimist, optimist, or realist? : He's an optimist when it comes to himself and a pessimist regarding the rest of the world.
Outer goal: Get through life with a minimum amount of effort and a maximum amount of awesome.
Inner goal: Learning how to accept people and become accepted, himself.
History:
Important background information: Eddie has always been a sharp kid, but as he has grown, he's become progressively more detached from school and achievement through grades, mainly because he doesn't think that is what will make him successful. He's yet to find anything that will drive him, though, so he's detached from a great many things.
Criminal record: None.
Happiest time in their life so far: What he would say -- beating Christine Berkshire in front of the whole school in one of the many stupid games played during rallies when they were freshmen. Reality -- when his little sister was born. She gives him a lot of crap, but she's close to him and doesn't allow her friends' view of him to color her perspective. He respects that.
Any traumatic events: Nothing beyond the normal trauma that's a rite of passage for kids -- getting laughed at, tossed into trash cans, etc.
Education level: High school senior who has sent half-assed letters of application to a few colleges.
Occupations: Works as a movie usher during the summer.
Random facts:
Phobias: He has an intense fear of losing control of his life.
Blood type: B positive
Sleeping habits: Stays up late and wakes up late.
Speech patterns: Eddie speaks like any other high schooler -- liberal swearing, many contractions, and his sentences are capable of stretching on for miles. When he really wants to speak to someone, though, he eliminates all his bad habits and his speech becomes sharp and to the point. Also tries to use sarcasm in the right places instead of throwing it around in every conversation ever.
Favorite food: Cheeseburger and fries at the local fast food joint. And, yes, I used the word "joint" even though the '50s ended nearly 50 years ago.
Scars: None.
Anything s/he always carries: Besides a chip on his shoulder? Haha.
Favorite color: Red.
Biggest pet peeve: People making decisions for him.
Childhood ambition: To become ruler of the universe.
Monologue:
I am not stopping until I'm finally immortal.
I've been working at this all day long. My mind is tired; my eyes want to shut down for good, but I force them open again. There's no way I'm letting this piece of shit get the best of me. No fucking way.
Stan's right next to me. Lot of help he is right now -- get me some water, or food or something! Make yourself useful!
Great, now he's wandering away, the big bastard. Like he's got something on his plate more exciting than what I'm doing. Doubt it. Nobody's going to remember him ordering chili cheese fries in 100 years, that's for fucking sure.
Crap, that son of a bitch just scored a left on me! Fuck, fuck, fuck! Why the hell isn't this working? I'm pressing it as fast as I can! God damn it!
OK, whatever, you old, busted-up prick. This is my last chance. I'll break you or die trying.
Yeah, yeah, yeah! Take that shit! Yeah, you don't like it when I'm the one fucking you up, huh? Asshole. Hah, finished you. Next.
An hour passes, and I'm still here, almost at the end. This is the farthest I've ever journeyed. My little slice of immortality is so close to me that I can taste it. Even Stan can't help but watch me claim what's rightfully mine. That's right, stare -- you left when you could've been watching something great happen, but instead you had to stuff your damn face. Didn't even save anything for me. What a friend.
... What the hell. I can't hit this shit. What the fuck, slow down, you shithead! Stop hitting me, damn it, I've wasted fuckin' $15 on you already!
OK, calm down. Don't let this fuckwit get to you. God damn you, stop hitting me! Wait, oh shit, he missed! Haha, eat this shit, asswipe! That's right, I'll pound your ass into the ground! Don't even try to fight back!
Yeah! I did it! I did it! See this shit, Stan? I just beat the fuck out of this. God damn it, don't leave again! You're witnessing immortality here!
E. V. J. There we go. I'm in. No. 1, baby! I'm the best! Don't fuck with this shit, man! Let this be a warning to all you assholes: You try beating this, and I'll come back and pound this shit twice as hard. You unplug this, and I'll fuck you up good. This is staying here forever -- this is the first step. Nobody is going to forget this.
... Damn it, Stan, where the hell are you? You left during my big, dramatic speech! Don't leave without me, dickface!
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Haha, some of these comments are SO suggestive out of context. I get like this when I play a game for hours and I just want to beat it, turn off the console and then sleep for a few hours.
