That Perfect Someone by Johanna Lindsey

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Author: Johanna Lindsey
Date: 2010
Genre: Romance / Drama
Overall Rating: A generous 2 out of 10

This review has a lot of spoilers (not that anyone should care). The book itself is basically a smut novel, so it's not recommended for anyone who hasn't reached the end of puberty. Actually, I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone. Just read the review and you'll see why.

Just look at that cover. Don't tell me you wouldn't be interested in that.

Remember my review about Water for Elephants and how I briefly mentioned That Perfect Someone? Yeah, well as it turned out, since I finished Water for Elephants rather quickly and was left at Walt Disney World without any sort of reading material (heaven forbid!) I made a quick stop to the resort gift shop. I noticed they had a dinky kiosk of newly released books, and one of them happened to be that very same book I was eye-ing up at the airport several days prior. Bad mistake.

That Perfect Someone is Lindsey's tenth installment in her Malory-Anderson Family Saga Series. I wasn't aware of this at the time of my purchase, so when I first dived into the book I was a tad confused by all the fancy names and miscellaneous characters (that the author expected the reader to already be acquainted with). Regardless of the unfamiliar supporting characters, the two main characters are in no relation to the Malory or Anderson families. The main characters seem to be almost completely new to the series, so it was rather easy to get adjusted after the first four chapters or so.

The story takes place in London, England sometime around the late 1700's through early 1800's (don't ask me the exact date, I don't know nor do I care). The lead character, or should I say heroine(if she's fit to be called such), is the outrageously beautiful, wealthy, and incredibly talented Julia Miller. Everything in her life is perfect as can be, except of course for two things: her parent's freak accident which left her mother deceased and her father bedridden and dumb from trauma, and that itsy-bitsy little marriage contract she's had with her childhood enemy since she was a little girl. Now our other lead character is Richard Allen, who is none other than Julia's childhood fiancé and enemy. Richard is a tall, dark, handsome man who ran away to the Caribbean islands in order to escape from his tyrannical father. Oh, and did I mention he's a pirate?

These two to-be love birds meet at friend's masked ball by accident. Julia's at the ball to do some man hunting, whereas our favorite man, Richard, is at the ball to simply catch a glimpse at his love infatuation (who happens to be a married woman and mother). And don't let me forget to mention that Richard returned to England using the disguise of a Frenchman named Jean Paul. Anyway, the two of them somehow find an excuse to put on a show and kiss without knowing who their true identities are. Things are getting spicy, right?

Fast forward, Julia and Richard discover who each other really are and wind up trying to kill the other because of it. Some stupid plot happens, Julia's father miraculously recovers from his trauma and is in tip-top shape to run whatever company it is the Millers run, and Richard's father gets hold of him and sends him on a criminal ship to Australia. Wee, it's a cruise! Julia discovers Milton's (Richard's father) plan to send his son to the colonies in Australia, thus causing her to send forth the Malory family to help aid her in the release of her fiancé. Richard's saved from the criminal ship and is let on board that other ship owned by James Malory (some stupid aristocrat). Remember, Julia and Richard still hate each other at this point. Richard discovers it was Julia who sent to rescue him, so he decides to pay her a visit in her cabin. And what d'ya know, they wind up fighting and having sex.

Fast forward, they're in England again. Richard and Julia devise a plan to sneak into Milton's (Richard's father) estate to find their marriage contract and destroy it for good. During the entire process, they do some raunchy stuff, blah blah blah. Milton and his servants catch them in the act of doing something 'naughty' and forces them to wed while laying in bed naked. Oh la la.

They angry married couple sail out to sea where they plan on getting a divorce. The two of them wind up talking about some stuff and realize they really do both love each other. The end.

So basically, the entire book was a flop. It was like a really bad fanfic. The characters were flat, the plot predictable, and the dialogue wasn't very believable, either. Don't read it unless you're desperate to escape boredom.