Another one...

I just found out my grandmother might have cancer... another one? Really?.. This just fucking blows... I've already lost my grandfather to cancer almost exactly two years ago, my girlfriend is gone and no longer my girlfriend, and now I have to deal with ANOTHER personal issue... how many more people that I care about are going to leave my life? It's only been TWO. FUCKING. YEARS. And I might be losing another one.
What sucks is I have no one to fucking lean on about this anymore... so I can't vent to anyone, I can't express my emotions. No, I have to be a big person, act completely stoic about this whole fiasco, and be calm. I mean come on! I already hold in like 95% of my feelings from reality, what's another, tch ooohh i don't know, WHOLE FUCKING FAMILY MEMBER?
I can't do this anymore... I feel I just shouldn't be happy. Especially after my girlfriend left, it's been getting. Worse. Lost grandfather, wasn't happy, lost girlfriend, wasn't happy, finds out grandmother has cancer, NOT FUCKING HAPPY. I hate this.............. so... god damn... much... If I had someone to talk to about this, it'd be much easier in me. Yeah, the stress will be there, but at least I won't be holding it in.... I'm tired of crying... about everything... why does this shit have to happen?...

End