Get a revolver and Pass the bar of chocolate. Welcome to Mello's Mafia Rantings. I'm your host (for now before I shoot one of you and then we have a whole crisis and what not) Mello. Anyways, *clicks the gun* if you're reading this you either have no life or are in desperate need for some action. Welcome to my Mafia. >:D

Note: there are Death Note stories in here as well as requests/art trades

Rules on Requests:

1. only friends
2. If you want it colored, you're going to have to give me some time
3. can be OCs or other characters, but it they are OCs you must either provide me with an adequate description or a picture.
4. I don't draw animals end of story.

Rules on Art Trades:

1. Anyone can ask me to do a trade, but please don't PM me with something like 'HI I JUST SAW YOUR ART AND CAN WE DO A TRADE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!' Please at least try and talk with me a bit so I can get to know ya ^^
2. I do have a right to deny people for art trades, so if I say no, please don't complain.
3. I will only do art trades for a person's OC.
4. Like #3 in Requests, you must either provide me with an adequate description or a picture.
5. That's all ^^

Random Gift Moments:

Every once in a while I'll steal an OC of someone's and draw it. If this happens, I'll dedicate the pic to you and you'll get a free fan work =P This is caused by my boredom sometimes.

-Soji

Someone's going to kill me for this....

Sorry Light! Please don't kill me!

Ranodm Death Note versions of the Pokemon song

Hahahah I was bored....It goes to that very begining pokemon sone 'I want to be the very best' I plan to do it with all the characters singing....

Light's version

I want to be the very best
That no God ever was
To catch L is my real test
To kill him is my cause

I will kill across the land
Serching far and wide
Each Death Note
To understand
The power to kill inside

Death Note
Gotta kill em all
Hearts so blue
I know I will pull through

You teach me
And I'll teach you
Death Note!

.....................ya...................here's L's version

I know I am the very best
That no one ever was
I catch Light is my real test
To porve he's Kira is my cause!

I will travle across the land
Looking far and wide
To Find the Note
and understand
The power that's inside!

Death Note Gotta stop em all
Hearts so true!
I know it will pull me through

You teach me
and I'll teach you

Death Note!
Gotta stop them all!

...............................now Near's..............

I know that I'm the very best
That in the past L once was
To catch Kira is my real test
To avenge L's death's my cause

I will travle across the land
Searching far and wide
To stop Kira
and understand the power that's inside

Death Note!
Gotta burn them all!
Hearts so ture
I know it will pull us through

You teach me and I'll teach you
Burn the Note!
Gotta stop them all!

...........................I liked that one with the burning......no Mello...

I want to be the very best
That no one ever was
To catch Kira is my ral test
To beat Near is my cause

I will travle across the land
Searching far and wide
To steal the Note and understand
The power that's inside!

Death Note!
Gotta steal them all
Hearts so true
I will beat Near too

You teach me
And I kill you
Death Note!
Gotta get them all!

............That was scary to write...Mikami............I'm afraid........

I want to be the very best
That no one ever was
To Kill criminals is my real test
To love Kira is my cause!

I will kill across the land
Loving Kira and at his side
Each Death Note to understand
God's power that's inside!

Death Note!
Gotta kill them all!
Hearts so ture
My love for Kira will pull me through

You teach me and I'll teach you
Death Note!
Gotta kill them all!

....................that's all...........I don't want to do Misa or Matsuda.....they would be hard..............I'm thinking about doing this with other songs.........please comment!

Matt

Ya I know I haven't written anything lately, but I have been working endlessly on my English paper due the first day of school. So anyways....please coment... And enjoy the story of Matt-kun!

Matt: hahahahaha Mello I got to put my past in before you!

Mello: WTF??? Soji get to work on my past alrady!

L: I can't wait to see what she does to Near....

Light: Why doesn't she write about me??

Near: because we don't like you

Mikami: I like him!

Misa: Me too!

Takada: Hey he's mine!

Misa: no he's not!

Me: SHUT UP ALL OF YOU AND GET ON WITH THE STORY ALREADY!

Ryuza: Soji you aren't going to get anywhere if you keep yelling at them....

me: Ryuza! Go back to being dead alrady!

Ryuza: for the last time I was acting ppl!

Matt: Can we get on with my story now?? *sparkely eyes of sadness*

me: Fine....

Matt stared at the large store in awe. It was as if he had died and gone to heaven. There inside were his hopes and dreams. It was not enough to stand outside while the truly beautiful was inside. Matt’s hand reached for the door slowly but suddenly it opened automatically. Matt smiled and pulled up his goggles instead.

Mello had disappeared into the Walmart across the street looking for chocolate covered pokey and wouldn’t be back for a while. Matt smiled as he entered his computer and video game haven. There was even an area to order food. It was a paradise.

“Hello sir,” I voice said, “Can I help you?”

Matt turned to see a short man in a tie. The man asked again, and Matt answered that he was just looking. The man said fine and went off to help someone else. Matt walked slowly through the store admiring everything that could be seen. Suddenly he saw what he truly wanted. The X-box 420 that would be released in twelve months was sitting in a glass case for many a man to admire. Matt sighed and lit a cigarette.

“Sir you can’t smoke in here,” it was the short man again.

Matt sighed and put the cigarette away. Why did I start smoking in the first place? Matt wondered. Time did a semi-circle backwards as Matt tried to remember. Yes it had been back before the Wammy House…..before he had met Mello and Near. A childhood most would want to forget forever existed, but Matt could not forget.

Matt had a mother and a father, but in the true sense of the word mother and father, he had neither. They were indeed his parents, but they were too busy in their own lives to take care of a child. They were the Jeevases a rather rich family with its members taught to work towards becoming even richer and therefore never to let anything hold them back….not even a child.

It was as if from the moment of his birth, Matt’s parents had divorced him. A name was given but later would be replaced by Matt, and from then on, Matt was alone in the world. The next day, the second day of Matt’s life, his mother and father went to England to get work done leaving Matt with the house keepers.

From that point in time till about age five, Matt believed that the house keepers were his parents. When he finally posed the question about his birth to the butler and the maid he believed to be his parents, they laughed and explained to him that they were not his parents. It was confusing what they meant when they said “Mr. and Mrs. Jeevas are your parents; you saw them once….when you were born.” It made no sense to a five year old why he only saw his parents once, but once Matt was older, it would come into focus that his parents were far too busy to raise him.

As the years past, Matt learned what he could and couldn’t ask for. It was true that he had every material thing he asked for, but he had nothing he truly wanted. If he asked for a video game, it was given to him, but if he asked to have his parent’s precious time, well….he was refused. It was during the age that Matt was supposed to be creating a permanent bond with his parents that he made a permanent bond with video games instead.

Matt didn’t see his parents but a few times a year. The only time that Matt learned something about his parents occurred when he was nine. That was the year he learned about smoking.

The Jeevas couple had returned from a trip in Ireland and was planning to stay for a few days. Matt had never learned to call his mother ‘Mother’ so he referred to her by her name, Emilia. The same went for his father, Frederick. So it went.

“Hello Emilia. Hello Frederick.”

“Hello Mail.”

“No honey don’t you remember? The butler called and said that he preferred the name Matt?”

“Oh yes….hello Matt.”

“Alright we have to get back to work.”

“Honey where did you put the laptop?”

“It should be in the carry on.”

“Thank you.”

And they went their separate ways. Matt sighed and sat outside his father’s study listening to his father talk about refinances and the like. It made no sense to Matt what so ever. When Frederick finally emerged from the study, Matt stood up.

“Yes Matt?” Frederick asked staring at the red-head staring back at him.

“Um….do you want to play a video game with me?” Matt asked quietly unsure of how to express his excitement that they were home.

“Maybe some other time,” Frederick answered, “I need a little time to myself.”

“That’s ok,” Matt said a little too fast.

Matt walked to his mother’s study and waited for her to finish her work over the phone. Apparently she was yelling at a man named Jonathan who didn’t work hard enough. When he asked her to play, she gave the same response as his father did.

Matt went back to his room and out onto the balcony. He disliked the outdoors, but it was nice on the balcony above garage. There were three balconies each extending out in the same direction and Matt was surprised to see his parents standing on the other two. Emilia and Frederick did not look at each other or at Matt but were both looking out into the horizon far in the distance. They both had a cigar in their hands and breathed into the tubes ever once in a while. Matt had never seen smoke before and wanted to ask about it, but as he yelled out to the other balconies, neither of his parents moved or talked. Matt tried again, but it was no use.

Matt went back into his room and played Playstation until the butler came in.

“Your parents have decided to return to work tomorrow,” the butler said astutely.

Matt stared up.

“Why?”

“Because new business has come up,” the butler replied.

Matt sighed and decided to ask about the smoke. The butler chuckled and said that it helped then relax. When Matt asked to try one, he was not denied. He breathed in the smoke and nearly choked on it. It was foul tasting and made his head hurt, but it fulfilled something inside him. The pit that had been created by his parents’ isolation of him was being filled up a bit. Matt asked for more and more and was soon addicted. It was not until age ten that Matt’s easy life was taken apart.

Matt had been playing a new game when the butler came in and said that he was sorry to say that Matt’s parents had been held up by a thief and were shot to death. Matt with no emotional strings to the parents that had always been too busy for him merely sighed and continued playing his game.

Without his parents to work, the money dried up, and Matt was forced on to the streets for the first time. There was never enough food, and Matt became slimmer and slimmer. He was sure he was going to starve to death there in the streets, and the recoils from no cigarettes were hurting him as much as the lack of food.

After three weeks on the streets, Matt was on the brink of death, and he knew it. He lay in the streets that he used to look down on from his balcony. The sun was hot and all Matt wanted to do was sleep. Suddenly a fist came flying at him. Matt felt the bruise that would later form on his cheek.

“What the heck is wrong with you?” the blond-haired boy asked looking at Matt angrily, “Get up already or you’re going to die there.”

“Go away,” Matt said curling up away from Mello.

“Now look, I don’t care what your sob story is or any of that, but you can’t just sit there like a dog that’s been licked,” Mello answered, “Look I have a bit of money, why don’t you come get a bite with me. I’m Mello.”

The thought of food forced Matt to his feet.

“There now come on,” Mello said grabbing Matt by the arm, “We’ll get some chocolate at the store over there!”

Mello dragged Matt into the convince store. Matt had never been into a convince store before and was astounded by the assortment of food and what not. Suddenly a pack of cigars caught Matt’s attention. He needed to fill the void a bit before his stomach.

“Mello….” Matt said cautiously unsure of how the blond would take to the question, “Can you get me a pack of those?”

“What the heck do I look like? A bank? Those are too expensive. I’ll buy the cigarettes instead,” Mello answered.

Mello walked up to the counter and ordered some chocolate and cigarettes. The man behind the counter looked at Mello funny but handed over the things in exchange for money.

“Here,” Mello said throwing the pack at Matt, “I still have a little money, but now you owe me some, so we’re both going to have to work k?”

Matt was astounded that Mello had said the word work. He had long expected that he would one day inherit his parents’ work whatever they did but not at such a young age.

“Work?” Matt asked.

“You got a problem with that?” Mello asked his hand turning into a fist.

“No,” Matt answered.

After that, Matt was with Mello. They worked getting just enough money to live, and one day a man calling himself Watari asked if they would like to come to his orphanage. The enticement of food brought both Mello and Matt. From then on, they were taken care of and went back to school.

Matt laughed at himself for remembering so much and in such detail. He looked around and wondered how long he had spent just standing there. It must have been pretty long because the short man was eyeing him again. Matt walked through Frys and into the back, grabbed the free play game and sat down to a nice game of Mario Cart. It was a reminder of the past, but this one was a good reminder.

Matt vs. Cloud

Ok here is my Death Note version of the Omega Cloud Song

My name is Matt
I have a game
Some people think
That I'm insane

I like to ride
In sweet hot cars
It's better than
Drinking in bars

And when I walk into an in
In fifteen seconds I'm kicked out again
Andi I will use
Cloud's pheonix down
So when I'm shot
I will not frown

Because I am Matt
My skill defy all gravity
But I can't steal Melo's sweets
or he'll kill me with insanity

If I can't beath you
Then that's ok
I'll use Raine's magic
Anyway

And I will defeat that Sepheroth
Because he's not David LeeRoth.

Ya I know it is random and stupid, but I liked it....
Oh and Raine is from Tales of Symphonia. I was playing when the song came into my mind.

Mello vs. Willy Wonka aka L and the Chocolate Factory

Note: No Death Note characters were harmed in the making of this story….

“Matt!” Mello said excitedly, “Willy Wonka has sent out five golden tickets! Whoever gets one will get to have a tour of the factory!”

“And this applies us how?” Matt asked playing a new Nintendo game.

“Don’t you see?” Mello asked jumping up and down, “If I get one of those tickets, all my dreams will come true!”

“Mello, Willy Wonka sends out fifty billion chocolates a minute. What are the chances of winning?” Matt asked sarcastically.

“But look I got one!” Mello said showing the golden ticket to Matt who looked up astounded, “I found it in one of my chocolate bars! Anyway all that matters is that I have one!”

Matt choked on his cigarette and a plume of smoke came out his nose. He looked at the ticket, and sure enough, it was the winning golden ticket. Mello’s eyes widened and contracted as he danced around happily. Matt grabbed the ticket and began reading the back. It stated that the person that was now in possession of the ticket was allowed to enter the factory as well as an adult.

“Mello,” Matt started knowing what he was getting himself into, “Mello, Roger would never let you go after the stunt we pulled on the plane a month ago.”

“Don’t worry Matt! I made up with Roger and he already said that I could go!” Mello said happily.

“Mello….” Matt said, “I um….I already got you a ticket.”

“What do you mean?” Mello asked.

“I triangulated the chocolate source, divided it by the weather patterns of the day it started, determined the random coalition with some simple calculus, and bought the winning ticket in the first chocolate I bought,” Matt said holding up another ticket.

“Oh Matt! Now we can go together!” Mello said hugging Matt, “But who will be your parent?”

“Well…I was going to give it to you….and….so I don’t have one….”

“We will just have Roger’s wife take you!” Mello said enthusiastically.

So the day rolled around that the children and their chaperones waited outside the gates of the chocolate factory. Matt stood with his game boy in his hand. Mello stood a chocolate in both hands. The other three arrived a tad later. One was a younger Light Yagami chewing bubble gum standing with his mother. Another was an obviously rich girl named Misa Amane. The last and lest expected was a skinny teenage boy standing with and old man. Mello elbowed Matt in the ribs.

“Look at that guy. He looks really out of place here,” Mello snickered.

“My name is Ryuzaki,” L said smiling.

Mello laughed, and Matt returned to his game. Just then the gates of the Wonka factory opened, and music began.

“Welcome children!” a voice said happily, “I am Willy Wonka!”

A man with brown hair appeared as the door opened. Mello ran straight up to him.

“Hi! I’m Mello and I am your biggest fan. I love you chocolate to death, and did I mention you were awesome?” Mello asked excitedly.

“That is….nice….” Willy Wonka said. He strolled around looking at all the children. Light popped a bubble as he walked by. “And these are your….chaperones….Well we have a lot to see and need to hurry now!”

Willy Wonka ushered them all inside, and the tour began. The first room they walked into stunned Mello beyond reason. It was a room completely made out of candy and chocolate. Then a small man went by. Misa screamed and Willy asked her to be quiet.

“What was that thing?” Misa asked terrified.

“That was an umpalompa,” Willy answered, “they work in my factory.”

Mello stared in wonder at the room. It was like he had died and gone to heaven. He ran around in circles taking it all in.

“Everything in this room is edible….even I’m edible, but that would be catabolism and is frowned on in most societies,” Willy said spreading out his arms.

Mello couldn’t decide what to try first. He ran to a lollipop sticking out of the candy grass and licked it. Then he ran to a tree and licked that. His taste-buds were on fire! There was so much to try! Mello licked everything until he saw what he wanted the most. There in the middle of the room was a river of liquid chocolate. Mello dived for it.

“Mello!” Roger said turning, but it was too late. Mello had dived into the chocolate and was now eating it. Mello was too preoccupied with eating the chocolate to notice a large tube coming towards him.

“Mello get out of there!” Roger tried again, but it was useless. Mello was swallowed up into the tube. Roger was in terror, but Willy merely smiled.

“Don’t worry! We can get him out!” Willy said showing Roger to one of his umpalompas, “Take this man to the chocolate storage to get him out.”

So Roger left leaving only four children: Light, Misa, a now terrified Matt, and L posing as Ryuzaki. They all continued the tour. They walked into a glass elevator with buttons covering the wall. Light was tempted to touch one of them.

“Don’t,” Willy said as Light went to touch one.

“Don’t tell me what not to touch!” Light said, “I have won trophies in everything. I am the best at everything, and soon I’m going to be fourth time bubble gum champion! I think I am qualified to touch what I want to!”

Willy sighed as Light pressed the button. It took them to a bright room where more umpalompas worked endlessly.

“What is this?” Light asked looking around.

“It is where we make new kinds of candy,” Willy answered.

“I want to try some!” Light said grabbing up a piece of wrapped gum on the table. He took out his other piece of gum and began to chew the new piece.

“Little boy….we haven’t worked the kinks out of that yet….” Willy started, “It is called meal gum. You get a full course meal in one piece of gum, but you really shouldn’t….”

“My son is the first one to try meal gum!” Light’s mom said happily.

“Wow the first course!” Light said, “It’s pizza! And now the second Mmmmm it’s sweet lobster on rye….”

“You really need to spit that out now,” Willy said.

“And mmmm the desert! It’s blueberry pie!” Light said smiling.

Suddenly Light became very blue….

“What is happening?” Light asked fear in his voice. He began to grow huge and round.

“I told you I haven’t worked the kinks out. Now you are stuck as a blueberry,” Willy nearly laughed.

“Ahhhh!” Light screamed. His mom burst into tears.

“No matter no matter we will just juice all that juice out of him in the juicer,” Willy said pointing another umpalompa to take them away.

Now only three…Misa, Matt, and L…..

They walked back to the elevator and Matt turned the sound up on his video game. Willy looked annoyed.

“Why don’t you choose the next room?” Willy asked.

“I don’t want to,” Matt said, “I’ve almost finished this game, and I never wanted to be here anyway.”

Willy looked spited and pushed a button. The elevator moved up, down, left, and the right. The room they came to next was large and white. Matt looked up from his game.

“I made this for the gamers like yourself,” Willy said meaning Matt, “You can get chocolate bars while you are playing. It makes chocolate appear on T.V.s”

Matt looked up from his game. There was a large chocolate bar. A lever was switched. Suddenly a light exploded and the bar was gone. Willy ran to a T.V. and changed the channel. There was the chocolate bar.

“Take it,” Willy said.

“I don’t like chocolate,” Matt said.

“Chicken, ok you take it,” Willy said nodding at L. L reached into the T.V. and pulled out the chocolate. Matt was astounded.

“Do you know what you made?” Matt asked, “You made a matter transferor! I can actually play physical games with this!”

“Um….welll…” Willy said.

Matt was sold and ran to the area where the chocolate bar had been. He flipped the switch and got inside. Matt suddenly appeared on the T.V. very small.

“It worked!” Misa said putting her hands over her mouth.

“But now he’s stuck small,” Roger’s wife said fearfully.

“Don’t worry, we can get him to the taffy stretcher and he’ll be good as new!” Willy said leading them off with another of his small friends.

Now only Misa and L remained.

“Shall we proceed?” Willy asked.

They returned to the elevator, and Misa jumped up excitedly.

“Misa next! Misa next! I want this button!” Misa said pushing a button before Willy could say anything.

They came to a room with squirrels cracking nuts and throwing those that they didn’t like down to the trash. Misa stared intently.

“Daddy I want one of those!” Misa said pointing to the squirrels.

“I will see if Mr. Wonka what to sell us one baby,” Misa’s father said, “How much do you want for them?” he asked Willy.

“Oh they aren’t for sale. They crack all my nuts and test them to make sure they are good nuts,” Willy said backing up.

“Daddy! I want one!” Misa said again pulling on her father’s jacket.

“I’m sorry honey, but Mr. Wonka said they aren’t for sale,” Misa’s father said.

“FINE I’ll get one myself,” Misa said lunging over the barriers and right up to one of the squirrels. They all attacked her and knocked on her head.

“I think they think she is a bad nut,” Willy said.

The squirrels picked her up and threw her down the trash hole. Misa’s father was also pushed in. Now all that was left was L.

“So you are the last one!” Willy said, “Congratulation! You now get you prize of this factory little boy!”

“But I’m a teenager….” L started.

Willy looked frustrated and finally sighed.

“Then you can’t have the factory…good-bye,” he said shoving L and Watari out of the factory.

THE END!