Chapter 2 – All the colors you want
Night time wasn't easy on David, as he laid under the covers with Penelope, his mind endlessly on the same topic. 'What am I going to do with him?' David thought. 'Maybe Penelope is right, maybe he belongs in a home or something'.
Down the hallway Jasdero's mind was much like his brothers, racing with thoughts, not the same thoughts, but thoughts. Jasdero was staring out of the window as he had already forgotten about David's concerns from earlier, in the
middle of night he's attention was focused on watching the snow fall. Much like himself his 'friends' were awake too. "I wonder if David will let me play outside tomorrow, I hope the snow is sticky enough to make a snowman!
Hehe…" he added. Yawning loudly and causing a great sense of fatigue to overcome his body. "I don't care if you guys stay awake, but why do you gotta make me an insomniac?" Jasdero cursed the voices.
Hours passed by and Jasdero didn't fall asleep, he attempt to, but stopped by a so called 'friend' of his. Always a simple phrase would be uttered into his ear to wake his brain, and stimulate every lobe. Among the confusion and mild
hysteria caused by a lack of slumber, Jasdero had started to daydream about years before his grim diagnosis.
I was seventeen, I remember sitting in my math class still learning sixth grade algebra, my mind nowhere focused on the numbers marked on the white-board, more on the pearl paper lined with several blue horizontal lines, and a
bold red one going down the paper vertically. About nine other people the class, not including the poor teacher that had to put up with us. I never said much, it kept me out of any social groups, as sad as it sounds, thinking back; it
was probably the best for me.
Jasdero didn't like it when his psyche reminded him of high school years, something time refused to eat. Not the memories of awkward adolescent times, but the face of relatives and small frivolously things, and happy days that faded
into oblivion. Of course time couldn't be blamed for all the dementia like symptoms, a person's memory can fade, much like their sadness or happiness, it brings about new feelings, but Jasdero would never accept that. Before the
disease Jasdero blamed not paying attention to detail, which would always fail him when it came to school related assignments. The truth with school that is, was that he was slow, very slow. At the age of sixteen his reading level had
matched one of a seventh grader, he had failed to learn simple algebraic expressions in the ninth grade, and took twice as long to learn given material than the other students in his class. That was with school, and when diagnosed with
schizophrenia he soon which his excuse from a lack knowledge, to it being the disease fault, till the destruction of his brain was too far gone for him to blame anything on his forgetfulness. His hand enclosed on the pillow case as he
attempted to fall asleep again.
Ten thirty in the morning, Penelope and David were down stairs very much awake, as for Jasdero, he was still resting from the night before. Penelope sat at the dining room table, waiting for David to finish cooking her early lunch.
"So is that brother of yours awake?" She asked her question laced with slight irritation. "He kept waking me up all last night; it's not good for the baby for me to be waking up all though the night." She added.
"He can't help it," David defended his brother.
"Then what can he help? Look sleeping isn't that hard, all a person was to do is relax and fall asleep, I mean I knew he was retarded but…" Her voice stopped as David scolded her with his facial expressions.
"Don't call him that, you know that hurts his feelings, and it's not very nice." David reminded his lover. Penelope turned away from him, being the spoiled brat that she was, she didn't like to take such a social punishment from David.
"God I need a smoke…" She uttered starting to tap her lengthy and expensive press ons against the wood table.
"You know it's not good for the baby, and it's not good for you either." David again preached. Penelope grinned
"I didn't know you were my Dad." She replied. David grinned with her.
"No, I just work for him." David answered. The way he responded to Penelope had turned her cheeks rosy and peach; the way he uttered those words had sounded so seductive to her.
"David." She spoke.
"Yes dear, your food is almost done." His voice loud and compliant,
"Can you come over here?" She asked. Without any clue of what she was up to, David did what she asked of him. "Can you sit down?" Again he did what he was asked of.
"Something wrong?" David inquired just before a long bewitching kiss was placed upon his lips. Now his own cherry tinted face was high on varies chemicals flowing throughout the veins buried deep within his brain. His hand
formed around Penelope's as they shared another kiss before he went back to cooking her lunch.
In his room Jasdero was playing with the voices in his head, knowing well that he wasn't leaving his room at all today. I-spy was the main game they played, one because of how quiet Jasdero could before he wouldn't not bother
Penelope, two because of how forgetful Jasdero was the game could never become old, and three because it was simple.
"I-spy something, purple!" The voices would try to guess what he was seeing "Nope! Try again!" Another guess "Nope, your wrong, but you were really close!" His giggling could be heard from the hallway. As he continued to play,
David stood outside his door overhearing his brother's voice. "I hope David takes me outside today, I know it probably won't happen…" Jasdero took a deep breath. "I haven't seen him all day today, I wonder what Penelope has him doing for her now?" An injection of anger was added to his voice at the last sentence he spoke. Now knowing that Jasdero was truly lonely David felt the strings on his heart being pulled.
"Hey Jasdero…" David called for his brother's attention as he entered his room. "It stopped snowing, do you want to maybe go outside and make a snowman?" David proposal bought delight to Jasdero expressed with a smile, and him
digging out his winter jacket from the pile of clothes in his closet.
The light weight spots of crystallized water floated downward as Jasdero finished make his snowman. Picket white fencing didn't allow anyone to actually see the childish sculpture Jasdero created, but nonetheless Jasdero was still
proud of it.
"Can we color it?" Jasdero questioned with such a innocent and oblivious manner. David who was finishing up the smaller details, such as the rock buttons and eyes let a light sigh of angst escape from his mind.
"Hold on." He uttered as he rammed a deep orangey carrot into the center of the snowman's face. Turning towards his brother almost buzzing with excitement brother, "Do you think I could leave you here well I go get the food
coloring from the house?" David explained, Jasdero head bobbing up and down. Waiting for his brother seemed to be a hard task to complete; Penelope normally didn't like Jasdero being outside of the house.
David we can't just have him running around the streets here! What would the neighbor think!
Penelope would shout.
Jasdero could never understand what the problem was in the winter why he couldn't be outside in the backyard that was gated with a privacy fence as tall as him. He knew that Penelope was embarrassed by him in more ways than one,
but never would a neighbor he thought would see him, well at least he thought. A rubber ball hitting the back of Jasdero head had caught the blond off guard. With the pastel baby blue poka-dot pink under his arm, Jasdero was able to
climb the fence so that he could look over to see who threw the ball.
"Excuse me mister, can I have my ball back?" The cutesy voice of a young girl caught Jasdero of guard; make him lose his grab on the fence. Re-climbing the fence his grip better than before, "I'm sorry that my ball fell into your
yard!" the girl continued to apologize. Without warning Jasdero feel from the fence back into his own yard. Then surprising the little girl with the ball being thrown back into her yard, Jasdero soon re-climbed the fence. The girls smile
enlarged his heart, she had been the first person in a long time for him to make a social contact, without David or Penelope doubting over him. "Thank you mister! Are you
that guy Miss Penelope is marrying?" An innocent question that made Jasdero blush from how wrong it sounded to him. With a quick gesture of his head moving back and forth from side to side, Jasdero and the little girl began to giggle. "Do you live in that house?" the little girl asked. Jasdero
shook his head up and down. "You have really long hair, I wish my hair has that long!" The urchin put her hands into her hood and held her short brown hair.
"Thank you." Was something Jasdero managed to utter.
"Are you shy?" the girl continued to question. Jasdero didn't comment back. "It's okay I won't make fun of you!"
"A little..." He voice anxious, but had managed to make the little girl smile. "People can't understand me when I talk."
Jasdero pointed to his head, "This" then pointed to his mouth "And this, don't like each other." An expression Jasdero was used to seeing when he spoke, confusion.
"My mind doesn't like to follow what my mouth and brain wants to say." He tried to express to the little girl.
"Weird, do you want to play ball?" She again questioned him. He shook his head from side to side. "Why?" the girl cried.
"My flesh won't let me." The little girl stared back at him strangely. His pupil's looking upward like he was constraining.
"My mind doesn't like to follow what my mouth and brain wants to say, it thinks its special, but it should know by now the other minds can't understand it half the time." The rambling scared the child and Jasdero knew it, his face
expressed all of the feelings his words couldn't articulate. The sound of the door from the back entrance escaped Jasdero's ears, but David's yelling sure didn't.
"What the hell are you doing?" David yelled. Jasdero waved goodbye to the little girl and jumped off from the fence. David grabbed his brother shoulder. "Come on get away from the fence before Penelope thinks you're talking to the
Spray bottles filled with different colors of food coloring sat close to the snow figure, as Jasdero picked out what dye he wanted for his snowman.
"This is pretty." His hands enclosed onto the one filled with a deep violet tint. An almost psychedelic snowman graced their backyard. "You like it right?" Jasdero inquire from David. His brother grin let him know that yes, he did well
this time with his coloring skills.
"Just because I said you could have all the colors you want, didn't mean you had to use them all!" David mocked his Jasdero.
"But it's pretty." Jasdero spoke softly, his body starting to shiver.
"Come on let's get back inside, it's getting cold out here." David muttered under his own bitter from low temperatures voice. Entering the breezeway Jasdero continued to stare at the fence, the thoughts he could make out was only
those of more prolonged human interaction.