Have you ever had to watch someone die in front of you, where if you were one second earlier, you could've prevented it?
So I'll give you something that happened that I never blogged about.
My best friend, Hunter, is dead. He committed suicide last month. The 22 of May. He was terribly depressed, for reasons that he wouldn't tell me. He said he was going to tell me that day as we were walking from his house. He was really depressed. And I witnessed someone telling him that he was pointless to the world. And he ran the rest of the way to his house, and I chased him. I chased him two blocks to his house. As soon as he got inside, he ran to where his dad kept his gun, and attempted to shoot himself. I ran through the door just in time, and tried smacking the gun out of his hand. He fired at the ceiling as he pushed me away, and I hit the wall. Thud went my head, BAM went the gun. Blood was everywhere. It was terrible. He'd stuck the gun in his mouth and pulled. He didn't even say goodbye. He just... was gone, like that. I couldn't do anything, either. I sat there for two hours, staring at his body, watching it cool with death.
And that's why I'm in such a bad mood.
I hate the fact that everyone around me is dying.
R.I.P. Hunter <3
3.21.92 - 5.22.09
EDIT:
I just broke. Again. I need to stop breaking and learn to be the opposite of fragile..
EDIT AGAIN:
My heart broke into a million bajillion little pieces. I'm losing someone else... not even within a month of Hunter's death. But this person isn't dying. I'll know he's still alive.
EDIT EDIT AGAIN:
And now, my best friend is gone...
I'm going to go cry my heart out, more. K, bye.
