RAWR. ROAR. You entered my VV profile. IMMA EAT YOU. with love =) thanks for stopping by loves! BEHAVE NOW. Noo eating anything. Only I'm Alloowed to do that =)
- Created By EternalParadise
Rantings of a 17 Year Old Teenager
My my, I haven't been here in a while? Ne?
Wellm I just needed some place where I can just write my thoughts down.
Well grade 12 started and well. You can say Im having fun, but im struggling so much this year with grades and everything. I feel much more liberated in some sense but chained down. I have great friends but its my close friends are the people that I want to be with, but sadly most of them moved away, and I do talk to them a lot. But i want to be there with them at the same, whyd they go so far away :( Nothing is permanent, the ppl in my life right now are temporary if you think about it, and slowly me and my best friend is drifting, it can't be helped since she moved really far away, has a job and stuff not as much time to talk on the phone as we used to. But I still miss her like crazy.
Grades oh no, im doing so bad in school right now, which is really strange considering im usually a 90 student. Its just im really working hard, but its not showing. Im sorry i have piano, tkd, school, lifegaurd lessons, and volunteering to do. And all i really want to do is sleep half the time. I just dont want to face the books, and university! i have to figure out wtf im doing with me life. My parents are telling me DOCTOR DOCTOR they got everything planned out.
However its my life, my futurebut its hard to tell your parents tht when they are paying for your future.
I just dont know what to do at all. Im really scared, of change
Whats in the future? I dunno.
Theres justa knot in my stomach. I just want to live in the moment. I want to have fun. Enjoy my time as High School, I just sometimes want to break free..
Im scared to leave HS in some sense, to leave the people that have made me comfortable for the past 4 years.
Scared of leaving my close friends
Scared of choosing a path that im going to follow for the rest of my life
Scared of being aloneee
Scared of growing up into adulthood.
Its exciting at the same time, but its nerve racking.
Im pretty sure im not the only one feeling like this.. I guess i that i can do is take time, day by day. complete things slowly and steadily. Maybe I'll figure things out.
Not only that, its been bothering me a lot. I have this close friend since grade 10 while he was in grade 9. We were not close friends at all when he came to this school. You can say i have known him since grade 7.
And when he came to HS, he followed me a lot. Like in grade 2, how boys would tease you, but they secretly like you. It was like that. And it made me despised him. It was annoying, but it was obvious, I knew he liked me he just never said anything. He would always be at every corner I turned, well i was in gr10 not as 'mature' as i am now but back then i was going thru personal problems which i got over now.. But him stealing my books, running into the boys room with him, or him trying to break into my locker didnt make things better. And there were times where he would hint or try to tell me tht he liked me. But I brushed him off.
2 years later, I wish i didn't.
He gots a gf whom I adore, and they have been dating for a year. But she moved last year,and now im one of his closest friends. I literally spend a lot of time with him. He really matured and its bothering me that im looking at him differently. Hes not the little teeny boy he was in grade 9. not only did he grow like 10 fricking feet sicne then but like i dunno. considering i got him and his gf together, im not the one to break them up. Or make things really complicated
blah
i guess all i can do is bury my feelings and continue with life.
=D
im.. ALIVEEEE :)
sry i haven't been around since like april/march..so thts like 3/4months? haha oops :)
i have commitment problems..
so yeah i'll be back cuz i miss ppl around here and uh.. reason why i left, well i kinda got bored with VV T-T and school and life took over, a lot happens yarh =D
i'll be back soon..gotta read shakespeare mid summer nights dream and as you like it from shakespeare for summer school! *twitch* NOW ART THOU THY HAND ON ME VILLLAN? NAY THEEE PRITHY!
oh screw it shakespeare you are so lucky you are dead, cuz i would have destroyed you.
allo..?
hello!!!!!
hehehe VV is cool. EP like EP like!
lets keep it short cuz im too lazy to write anything bout my life =D
happy easter!
and when u find the eggs remember to give them to me. cuz im the easter bunny and i lost them =(
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