Hope's Temptation

This is something I wrote some time ago on OtakuBoards. I was originally going to extend it past these four chapters (conveniently placed in one post for your reading pleasure :p) but looking at it now I don't think it actually needs anything more. I can't actually remember how I was going to develop it anyway, so never mind. I'm pleased with it.

I originally wrote it to try and spell out my ambiguous feelings towards relationships. Ironically enough I'm not any clearer on the subject! It explores a lot of angles about being the subject of love and not knowing how to respond to it, honesty and apprehension of taking the plunge.

Hope's Temptation

Part 1: Longing.

The wind blew harsh and cold through the fields, swirling the autumn leaves in its steely caress. A girl, gasping for breath, desperately ran into the wind towards her beloved further up the path. Her face stung with the cold, her eyes stung with tears. Her long pink dress blew wildly behind her and her hair was pulled roughly by the currents of the wind.

Closing in on the figure ahead, she longed again to touch his brown hair and to hold herself in his embrace. As she drew closer, he stopped. She slowed to a walk, moving up to within touching distance...

She grasped her gloved hands tightly, trying to will her throat to let the words come out right. The wind blew stronger.

"Why didn't you tell me you were leaving?"

The boy, dressed in black, didn't move. In his hand was a small bag, containing everything he owned.

"Would you have hated me any less if I did?"

The girl drew back. "I love you! Doesn't that count for anything?"

The boy said nothing, refusing to turn and face the one who was adressing him. The girl waited anxiously for a reply. She stepped closer-

"Please..." the boy started. "...don't."

The girl pulled her dress further over her shoulders. She gazed at the boy, eyes welling up with tears. "But why?"

There was a tense pause. Tightening his grip in the bag in his hand, the boy shut his eyes. "You wouldn't understand."

"Of course I won't if you don't tell me!" The girl cried, running in front of him. "Please, I want to know."

The boys eyes opened and he saw the girl standing there, her pink dress battered and dirtied by the wind, her hair in a mess and her deep blue eyes gazing at him through tears of desperation. This was why he didn't want to tell her.

"There are others, you know. Other people who'll be able to provide for you much more than I can."

"But I don't want them!" she yelled, banging her fists on his chest and resting her body on his form. "I want you..."

He swallowed hard. "I can't..." In spite of the cold, he could feel her warmth. It was comforting; he felt safety enveloping his body, just as he did that night... Gently, he took her arms and pulled her away from his body.

"I can't love you," he whispered. "I'm sorry."

"But why?" the girl sobbed. "Everything we did, everything we shared, didn't that mean anything to you?"

The boy sighed. "Of course it did. But what did it mean to you?"

"It meant the world to me... I thought that... it did for you too."

He shook his head. "I can't bring myself to fall in love. Not yet. There are things I need to know first."

The girl's head bowed, her body shook with sobs. "I... I want to help you. Please, let me come with you."

"You know you can't do that."

The girl raised her head, staring deeply into his eyes. "I can! I'll follow you to the ends of the Earth if I can love you. I need to be with you!"

The boy took hold of her arms again and surrounded her with his body, embracing her as tightly as he could. "But you do love me... and that's why I have to go."

He pulled back, slowly sliding his hands down her arms, stroking her hands, fingers... he broke away and faced the wind.

"I'll come back, but you have to promise to be ready for whatever answer I'll give to you."

She watched him walk slowly up the path to the hills, holding her hands to her lips until he disappeared over the rise.