hello this is my fanfiction world. let me know what to think. its open to everyone.
- Created By frfry
It kills me to write this letter. I had hoped this day would never come and that I could stay with you forever, but now I know how stupid that thought was. I know you will never understand my reasons for leaving no matter how much I explain them to you. I know that no matter how many times the others try to tell you that it was my decision and that it was the right one you will still probably end up blaming yourself for my departure. I want to tell you that that is as far from the truth that one can get. I know that you will probably hate me for doing this too. But I had to leave and it has nothing to do with any of you. Please just give me a chance to explain.
Let me first say that these last few years have been the best of my life. Shippo has become almost like a son to me and I love him just as much as I would my own child. Sango is like a sister and one of the best friends I will ever know. I never trusted someone more then I can trust her. I know I could depend on her for anything. Miroku is by far one of the wisest if not perverted person I have ever meant. I cherish every piece of advice he has ever given me and I consider him to be like a big brother, that is, if a big brother would be able to hit on you constantly.
And you, Inuyasha, you have become my other half. When we first meant I thought that you were nothing but a self centered uncaring jerk. Now I know that you are so much more. Beneath that tough, arrogant façade you have one of the kindest hearts I know. You’re loyal and passionate and put everything you have in every endeavor. I have always admired your strength and the way you are willing to protect everyone you love with every fiber of your being. You have saved every one of us more times to count and though you pretend not to care, I know that you would give your life to save anyone of us. I know we fight like cats and dogs but I don’t regret one moment we have spent together. No matter how much pain and suffering we had to go through these past few years I will always consider you as one of the major blessings in my life. But we both know that I can’t stay here.
I don’t belong in this time. Don’t take me wrong, I would love to stay. I would love to live in the village where I could see you all every day. I want with all my heart to believe that we will be able to defeat Naraku, and the jewel would be forever safe. I want to be there when Shippo grows up and starts training to be strong on his own. I want to be there when Sango and Miroku are free to love each other without the cloud of death hanging over their head. I want to be there to hold their first born and to watch them get married and settle down to a happy productive life in some village. And I would love to be there to watch you finally learn to love yourself and settle down. But that is not my destiny.
My main purpose in this life is to protect the jewel. Like Kikyo, my counterpart, my wants don’t matter. My dreams are not important. I have no right to ask for fate to change just for me and the more I try to fight fate the more people get hurt. If I wasn’t pulled into the well, the jewel would never have returned to this time. By bringing the jewel back, I destroyed so many lives. I know that you and Miroku would tell me that it was not my fault. That I was pulled into the well by Ms. Centipede and that is true. I did not ask to be brought through the well, but it was me who chose to stay here instead of returning to my own time the moment it was safe to do so.
You yourself tried to warn me of that in the beginning, Inuyasha. I use to think that you did it because you hated me, but now I realize that you were just trying to protect me. But I was too stubborn to listen to you and now look what has become of it. It's because I refused to leave that Naraku grew to the strength he has. If I would have just let you handled it, you probably would have found all the jewels already and made your wish. The jewel would be gone forever. If I would have taken the shards to my own time and stayed there, Naraku would have been weak enough to be destroyed. How many people has he killed that could have been saved if I had just listened to you? Their lives are a burden that I will have to bare for the rest of my life. And now he is not going to stop. Not without someone else forcing him too.
Together we have managed to collect all but one shard of the jewel and we have also managed to weaken Naraku maybe permanently if he does not get his hands on any shards of the jewel. Miroku reassured me that as long as we have the jewels in our hand we have a chance, but we can never guaranty that we will be able to keep it within our possession. Every day it seems we have to fight another battle to keep some kind of evil individual from stealing it away from us. Each time we fight we risk losing our lives. Miroku’s wind tunnel is swelling with overuse, Sango is constantly dodging attacks, and poor little Shippo has almost been killed countless times. And you, you are always the one to take the brunt of the attack. I can’t keep track anymore of all the times that you have been injured sometimes almost killed. And most of them were because of me. Because I am too clumsy and careless to hold up my own in battle.
I can’t ask you to risk your life anymore. We may spend years looking for the last shard. We might never find it. If that is the case, then my presence here is merely hindering you. As long as I remain here with the jewel, we risk Naraku snatching it away from us. Naraku is weaker now then he has been in some time. But his minions are still as strong and resilient as ever. They are after us constantly and that will never change. Sango‘s own brother has been used against us.. If I go back to my time and take the jewel with me, maybe they will stop pursuing you. Without the jewel to lend him strength, maybe Naraku could be killed and all the beings under his control freed. Sango would have her brother back, Miroku‘s wind tunnel would disappear and you would finally have your revenge for Kikyo.
You don’t have to worry about me. My archery has improved and no one in my time knows the jewel’s story is real. As for the people from this time, I can seal the well against them escaping into my time. I was too weak to do it before but now my Miko skills are so much better. I have asked Kaede to give me the spell to do it. Don’t be mad at her. She knew that it was better this way. Besides, I begged her too.
As for the last jewel shard, wherever it is, if you find it I am entrusting it to you. You have the strength to protect it now. With the jewel shard, you will be able to accomplish all the goals you have ever dreamed of. You won’t be able to become a full demon of course but I don’t think you desire that anymore anyway. You are so much stronger because of your mixed blood. I believe that one day you will be able to realize this. You have changed so much since we first meet and I think that anyone who just takes the time to know you will fall in love with you. I know because I had. You have so much to offer the world Inuyasha. Your brighter then you look and you have so much potential. If you just forget about your past and look towards the future I think that you could move mountains. I am not worried about you. I know that you will have the others to care for you. I only ask that you take care of them too. Don’t be afraid to let them see how much you care for them.
I will remember you always Inuyasha. My heart is breaking just knowing that I will never be able to see you again. Please know that I will think of you always. I will think of you when I make ramen, when I shoot an arrow, and when I sit by the god tree. I will think of you every time I look at a sunset, every time I see a puppy, and every time I use the word sit. I don’t think I will ever sit in a math class again without looking towards the window and expect you see you staring back at me. My life has been forever changed since the day that I reached out to touch that arrow in the tree. I promise that I will keep you in my memory always. I have no choice. One always remembers the first time they had felt the way that I do. Please forgive me, Inuyasha. I had no choice. But I have no regrets. Don’t worry about me. Just be happy. That’s all I have ever wanted for you. Just be happy.
P.S I love you.
Near an old and rotting well a few miles from a small village, a silver haired boy held a letter in a shaking hand. His eyes skim over the contents again and again as if the words would change if he read it enough. The boy’s eyes finally settle over a single line, one that could be so easily lost in the multiple pages. P.S I love you. The boy stares at that line for several moments until the letters begin to blur. A single tear falls onto the crisp white paper, blurring the ink. But the words still remain burning holes of sorrow in the boy’s very soul.
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha but I love to toy with him
“I love you,” those three words fly from my lips before I can stop them. My ears flatten on my head as I look away from the cold women in front of me. I feel her hatred and malice in her stare as I tremble in front of her, afraid to raise my eyes.
Thin lips curl into a wicked smile. “Sit boy.” She whispers, a note of sadistic joy ringing through her voice as she watches me slam face first into the ground, the beads of the subjugation necklace glowing softly. I cry out, as I impacted not so much out of pain but out of sorrow. I hear her footsteps approaching and struggle to rise from the forest floor, to defend myself, but the beads keep me pinned right where she wants me to be. I hear her stop over me and brace myself.
Her hand shoots outward and I resist the urge to cry out when she grabs my head roughly. Her hand curls around my silver hair, their fingernails digging into my scalp as she yanks my head up sharply to look into my eyes. I try to hold back the tears filling my eyes but fail. The salty liquid spills onto my cheeks and trace down my face.
Kagome’s eyes narrow at the sight of my tears and I can see her face twist with disgust. She pulls a hand back and I flinch and attempt to crawl away, but her hold on my hair prevents me from escaping her grip. Her hand comes down, impacting my face with a sickening slap, knocking me down to the forest floor once more. Somewhere deep inside me, my demon bucks against my control. It whispers dangerous suggestions, tells me to kill the girl in front of me for her impudence. I cower away knowing that I did not have he strength. I loved her. I could not hurt her. Like a beaten dog, I just lay there, shaking in sorrow waiting for her next move.
Kagome stares down at me, her hatred burning my very soul. She kneels, leaning in closer before yanking my hair harder till I am forced to look into her eyes once more. “Stupid half-breed. Do you really think that I would stoop so low as to fall in love with someone as pathetic and as weak as you?” With that, she slams my face into the ground making my head spin. “Sit boy,” she states again. Once my face hit the forest floor, she grabs the bag that she has carried with her for all these years and heads for the well.
She pauses as she when she gets to the side. For a moment, I think that she may stay, that I might have a chance. Then I watch as she lifts the small jar of jewel shards from her neck. Examining the jar, she smiles cruelly. “Someone like you should never have even thought you had a chance with me. Even with all the jewel shards in the world you will still be nothing but a ridiculous hanyou.” smiling Kagome pulls out a match and touches it to the side of the bone eaters well. The old dried wood lights immediately. The young women swiftly dives into the well before the flames consume it, disappearing back into her own time forever.
I cry out after her, but know she won’t answer me. Despite her abusiveness, my heart still wrenches as the women I love disappears forever not only rejecting my love but also stealing away with her my only means of overcoming my weakness, my only means of becoming a true demon. Suddenly I begin to feel a rushing numbness engulf my body as I give up. Without the jewel, without Kagome, I have no reason to live. I feel hollow suddenly. Emotionless. I listen to the crackling flames as the well behind me burns. As the crackling gets louder, some part of my mind registers the fact that the flames are getting closer spreading across the forest floor fueled by the dry underbrush towards my position.
I don’t move. Even when the flames lick at the spread tangled curtain of my hair. I didn’t flinch even as I felt the heat of the fire as it licks against my clothing. I don’t scream even when the flames begin to burn my hands, feet and neck, the only parts that the robe do not guard. I know that death will be slow, with the flames movement restricted. The only way it would be able to kill is to travel outward from my hand and feet to slowly smolder inward. Maybe I will be lucky and the horrible burns on my neck and face will be enough to destroy me. This thought reassures me and I smile, closing my eyes and give into the flames.
I awake with a gasp barely containing the scream that threatened to escape my lips. The hut is quiet the others laying, sleeping, on the cots the villages gave for them in thankfulness for the “exorcism “Miroku preformed. I am glad that no one is awake to see the tears that are streaking down my face or the sobs that I was barely containing in the aftermath of the nightmare. Trembling, I shake my head in an effort to wipe away any lingering visions of the dream. Impatiently, I scrub the tears from my eyes and curse myself for the sign of weakness. “Damn it, it was just a dream.” I whisper trying to still my shaking. “It wasn’t real,”
Sighing, I look towards the girl sleeping a few feet from me. In her sleep, her face looks so angelic. It seems impossible that that face could twist itself into the malice hateful face from my dream. Still I feel a slight twinge of fear. Has it really reached this point that I am afraid of a girl thousands of times weaker then me? Has it really reached the point that my love makes me weak? I am way too dependent on her. I should send her away before the vision of my nightmare becomes a reality. I should send her back just to protect her from becoming the monster of my dream. There are many reasons I should send her back, but every time I move to do so, every time I pick a fight to make her return to her own time I always crawl back to retrieve her in the end.
Sighing, I turn away from her to stare out into the darkness. I scan the forest in search of anything dangerous that might capture my attention. I search desperately for anything to keep my mind occupied for even the smallest amount of time. I know I would not be able to sleep for the rest of the night. I would not be able to erase that memory of Kagome’s rejection from my head. The only thing I can do is protect them from the night. I’ll fight demons threatening to kill them now and pray that my nightmares will never come true. For no matter how much I would like to deny it, no matter how much I would like to avoid it, I know that if given the choice to live without her, to live alone or to die in flames. I would choose to burn every time.