These past few days have been really fun; it finally snowed here in Baku, (o! Mariel, I remember you asking what country I'm living in, it's Azerbaijan. It borders the Caspian sea, and countries that are close to it are Russia, Turkey, Iran...so on a so forth...hope that helps! Baku is the city.) and we got two snow days! The weird thing about it is, we got the first day off, the second day we went to school (even though it was frozen and my boyfriend's mother slipped on the ice and the roads were bad and half of the school didn't show up) then the third day we didn't have school. But it was really fun, my boyfriend came over and shoveled the driveway cause he wanted to (weirdo lol) and then we went to the back and we had a snowball fight and built an igloo. ^^ I've never played in the snow with anyone but my family, so it was a nice change. It was alot of fun, plus I got to watch "Edward Sciscor Hands" for the first time.
But another big thing that's been going on is our school is putting on what they call "Night of Nights" where they have plays/other things. They're also doing a musical version of the wonderful "Jungle Book". They already pegged my boyfriend to be the loveable "Baloo" and the rest of us had to audition. Well, I decided to try cause there wasn't alot of people signing up, and they needed help, plus my boyfriend wanted me to try cause he didn't want to have to be in it by himself. I was really nervous cause the last time I auditioned was in the sixth grade and I ran off the stage crying. lol Plus, I have really bad stage fright when it comes to singing. But, I got up there, and I suppose I did okay lol. I was even more scared cause I have a sore throat (of all the times!). I did a monologue and sang the second song from "Mulan" (it had to be short and I wanted to be funny and do a Disney song...which the other kids stole my idea and all did Disney songs...JERKS! lol jk). After I sang, the teachers then asked me if I had any problems with acting as a boy. I told them no, that it didn't bother me, and then followed up with saying they needed the main character role, Molgli, and asked if I would like to do it! lol THey then got me and my boyfriend to go up and sing "The Bare Neccesities" together and they liked it. So, so far, they're thinking about me as Molgli, it's not official, but they said it's likely. SOOO keep your fingers crossed! lol I've never been in a musical, so I'm sorta psyched for it! ^^
Hope everyone is doing well! Have a great day!
So Yah, I've probably been about as active as a sloth in hibernation, BUT THAT'S OKAY *twitches*. I think, anyways, things have been sorta normal over here in Azeri land; I got off Christmas break about three weeks ago, man do I miss it so. I so hate school, I can't wait to graduate. It's mainly because most of my classes don't mean anything, and I feel like most of them are a waste of my time. I'll list my classes, and put a mark next to the ones I need.
1. Creative Writing
2. Teacher's Aid (free period)
3. Economics and World Government (need)
5. Health/Senior Research
6. British Literature (need)
7. Teacher's Aid (free period)
So yah, honestly, what I should have done was taken the AP class for first period (AP Lit) and then taken my World Government class, and then had the rest of the day off. But they didn't let me have that option...jerks. lol
Currently I'm in one of the biggest art blocks ever in my life, but I am working on a picture, and have one in mind, so hopefully this means my art block is about to end.
I've also been playing the new Kingdom Hearts game along with Left 4 Dead. I'm a little disappointed in the Kingdom Hearts game, it's just not as captivating as the rest, and the story line is a little slow. Left 4 Dead is a great game for someone who needs to relieve stress and just shoot zombies.
Haven't read too many new things in the manga world, but K-ON! is pretty cute if you're into the 4koma stuff. It's sorta like Lucky Star, but not as random, and it actually has a story line. Like, a feasible story line, but it does revolve around high school girls and it has it's silly moments. One that's good if you need a laugh, but that's about it. (And to kill time with).
Still dating my boyfriend, we're doing really good. He got me this cute necklace for Christmas and I got him this ring that he wanted. I don't know what he's getting me for my birthday...HMMM
Speaking of which, I can't wait to turn eighteen! ^^ I wonder what my parents got me...lol
Have a great day everyone!
Wow, it seems like forever since I've last made a post! Honestly, I don't think I've ever been off of theotaku for an entire month! Ironically enough as soon as I got off of my hiatus I came down with the flu, so I'm actually at home trying to recover ASAP! lol
Life over the past month has been hectic, but bearable and fun. I'm now dating the boy I mentioned earlier (I'm about to go and edit his name from previous posts from reasons I'll explain later).
It seems that I'm going to have to be careful what I post here from now on, because someone from the little town of Baku, found out my username, then started reading my posts. Which is frankly odd, and I'm not even going to go about what I actually think about it just in case they are in fact going to read this post. (But you know who you are! Please, please for the love of God, this is my home away from home, and I don't need people invading it!) But anyways...
I'll post more later when everything here dies down, I have two artworks that I'm going to submit, so I hope everyone will at least just glance at them. I'm playing basketball, and haven't been getting back home until about 6:30, so my presence here still might not be what it used to be. I'm sorry again. v_v. But I hope everyone is doing well! I've missed everyone and I can't wait to see your artwork!
p.s. I'm also going to stop using my name for about two weeks, then start re-using it...this whole "let's find out someone's theotaku account and read their stuff" is really pissing me off! UGH!
Again, I apologize for the my lack of presence here on theotaku for the past month or so. As some may have read in the previous post, things have been a little hectic.
But, this is what has happened.
I've broken up with my boyfriend (which went smoother than I could have ever hoped for, in fact, it went so smooth that it was a little...I dunno, he really didn't put up any fight nor did he question it, he was like "okay" and I was sorta like "really, after two years, that's all you have to say?" but that's beside the point)
and Ben has broken up with his girlfriend.
So now the time period of wait begins...
But in other news, I've been attending a Christian Youth Group for the past two months and yesterday it was brought to our attention that we should try "fasting" for a month on something we really cared about and spent alot of time on. Well....this is what I'm fasting on
1. Reading comics
3. Deviant Art
That's right, so for a month I'm on temporary hiatus. That means I won't post, sumbit pictures, comment, anything. I apologize in advanced. The only thing i will do is pm people. So if something dire comes up, you can pm me and I will respond (it's the only way I keep in contact with one really good friend so yah) Spread the word if you can, I'll try submitting a picture letting people know. It'll end on December 1. So yah...
Have a Fantastic Halloween!
Sorry for seemingly disapearing off the face of the earth for the past couple of weeks. My life has not only been hectic, frustrating, but it's actually starting to look like it actually make some form of sense! (Such a paradox!) I'll give an abbreviated version, and I will say this, since most of the time it's only my close friends that read this, I hope that what I will tell you will not affect how you view me in a negative manner. I will say, if you give advice, try not to be too mean lol plus, just read through the whole thing before you make any judgments.
So I went to Cross Country meet in the country of Georgia about two weeks ago, that's when the madness started. As many of you may or may not know, I've been living in the country of Azerbaijan for the past three months. It's been different, but I've actually adjusted considerably well due to my friendship with a few people, but especially due to my good friend Ben.
Well, the train ride to Georgia from Baku (the city I live in) is about 14-18 hours and it took roughly about 16. Honestly, I probably got a total of five hours of sleep to and from on the train. It was actually pretty fun! Ben and I talked alot on the way up and just listened to music and talked and talked. Ben has been honestly the first person I can tell anything to. ANYTHING. I don't know, but we've both clicked in that way and since we've met we've done nothing but talk about stuff that bothers us in life, with people yatta yatta yatta. (By the way, have I mentioned he's gorgeous?) So the way up was pretty innocent. Since the train is pretty compact, we ended up sitting really close on the top bed (the train compartment consisted of two bunk beds on each wall, me and Ben took the two tops while my sister and his brother took the bottom two, yes the only people going were Ben, his twin, myself, and my younger sister lol) with my head on his shoulder but that was it.
Well, the ride BACK is a different story completely.
As many know, I have a long distance boyfriend who lives in San Antonio. What you may not know is that things have been pretty rough with that, and I've been seriously frustrated with the whole situation for quite a while. Well, on the train ride back, I came to a conclusion.
I liked Ben.
It tore me up, because not only do I have a boyfriend, but he has a girlfriend. And unfortunately for myself, Ben had been my outlet for things I didn't tell my boyfriend. So, it was quite frustrating that I liked someone that wasn't my boyfriend and I couldn't even tell someone about it! Well, needless to say, I sorta...broke down? I won't say that entirely, but I certainly wasn't calm and composed. I ended up telling him about it. To my complete surprise, he actually said he'd been feeling the same way and was actually going to tell me about it later on in the train ride. (This was probably hour four into a sixteen hour train ride) I was pretty shocked, but in a way relieved. I was glad he didn't flip out on me, cause part of me didn't want to tell him in the first place cause I was afraid it was going to be awkward.
Well, that's when things got a little out of hand...sorta.
In a "heat of the moment" sorta deal, we did kiss. And honestly, I felt absolutely terrible for it.
But, I don't regret it. I told myself I wouldn't and currently I still don't. But here's where stuff gets messier and messier. We told each other that it was a one time deal and that once we got off the train we'd go back to being friends and go back to our relationships because neither of us were sure that we could give up our current relationships. HA! LIKE THAT COULD HAPPEN. We were still flirty, unfortunately, and we were still torn up about it when we weren't distracted and it was frustrating. Not to mention, because it's a small school, since Ben and I needed to talk about stuff alone, like how we were feeling and whatnot, the entire school started talking about us, even the teachers! Teachers started going around telling each other gossip, as well as brother. (Ben's mom is a teacher, so she ended up hearing gossip and whatnot, and she even approached him with "what are you going to do about your GIRLFRIENDS?" plus she kept glaring at me every time she saw me) Of course, this only added to our frustration, and we even went a day without talking to each other practically.
And of course, we were still all "what to do" about not only each other, but with our relationships; he wasn't happy with his, his girlfriend had been wishy washy for about a month and actually was going to break up with her soon if he could, but still wasn't sure. And I was definitely unsure because I have been with my bf for almost two years.
Well, to make a long story short, after about a week of emo-ness, we both made a decision. It was actually on a Sunday, after church, when I made mine, and his was made not too long after on that Tuesday. I had prayed to God to give me peace of mind and to help me make my decision. And he did, this is the first time in a whole year that I have felt like God has answered a prayer. I'm really thankful, and it's been a huge help.
I figured this; if I was able to do something like that, then I didn't love my boyfriend as much as I should to try and keep this going, and that there is a lot of things (which would take waaay to long to list) that could go wrong, one being that I have no idea when I'll get to see him, and that could go on for the next five to six years of my life. I don't think I could take that, mentally or emotionally.
So, this Sunday, I'm going to break up with my boyfriend; not entirely because I want to date Ben, though that is certainly an underlying factor, but I had planned on doing so even if Ben wasn't going to break up with his girlfriend (which was his decision that he made all on his own). I believe that the love I once had, isn't there, and that I've just been afraid to break up with him for the past few months because I was afraid of change and afraid to let things go. And even still, me and him aren't going to rush things; we're going to wait about a month to see if we still feel the same.
And that has been basically the drama of my life condensed (trust me, if I were to go on in detail, it would be about 10 times as long as this, and this is still pretty long). I hope that everyone understands, I'm not excusing my actions in any which shape or form. What I did was wrong, but, I feel it has been an eyeopener and if it wasn't for that I would still be in a delusion and would not have started thinking about my relationship deeply if I hadn't. (like I said, there are a number of factors that went into my decision, but I just simply can't list all of them)
So I thank everyone that took the time to read this. I apologize for not being on at all these past few weeks. I hope I have to courage to go through with my plan, so yah...