Within the rabbit hole lies my wonderland. It's demented and feeds off my current emotion or thought. Lunatics, like myself, shouldn't show the world inside their head. However, I choose to.

Rain!

This year is becoming better, nature wise. I think we might get out of our drought. It's actually going to storm this weekend! I love the rain. It's calming and I love to play in it.
When Otter took me to go see Sing, it rained and we got to enjoy it. He and I are too alike. It's pretty creepy, but cool. It was a fun date. Oh and to those of you on my fb, no I'm not pregnant. I sell weird egg, squishy, toys that have chicken fetus in them. I jokingly asked Otter to fertilize one a few weeks ago, and we've been making inside jokes since then.

weird little fetus... but it's my little fetus!!!!

Cramps....

Cramps suck. They hurt. They make it hard to breathe. They make me sick and wanna puke. I hate cramps. So, why am I getting them?! It's not fair!!!! I dun wanna be a girl anymore!!!!! ToT

There's a rant for ya! I had nothing else to say. Aren't I great?! Of course I am!!! I'm JJ!!!

*pops up behind JJ and bashes his knees* stay off the ice you obnoxious jerk off!!!! I hate you JJ!!!!!!! That jerk totally stole my rant from me. How rude. You guys would do the same thing!

It would have been a year.

Today was a crummy day. I woke up just feeling off. I go to work, did everything I needed to do. Then I just.. I just wanted to lock myself into the backroom and cry my eyes out. I didn't know why I felt like everything was going wrong.

Then I stooped to myex's level... twice... responding to his stupid posts. I would delete what I said, but I meant what I said and if I were to be sorry, I would just tel him. Right now I'm not and I don't think I will be.

I wish I didn't feel obligated to even bother making sure if he's ok. I don't see the point in it. It always bites me in the ass. I kind of want to just delete this account and leave the site. But I really like keeping my fanfic here.

Anywhores after all the bullshit from today, I come to find that it's now the 12th. .... A year agor today I got on the plane to be withhim. I was scared, but happy. Now .... everything hit me... Everythign that happened even that stupid post he made.. it all hit. I never even got the chance to fully be upset about him breaking up with me. Once I came home I didn't get the chance to just sit with myself and process anything.. then I got dumped and fully didn'tget to process it.

Maybe i'll be better off leaving this site or just deleting this world. I still love writing my fanfic, but I've been clouded with drama that I let get the best of me. Lady gaga was right. A relationship fucks up the creativity!

How to be Racist

I've dated a white guy before, and he saw me for me. Not for me being Mexican. He saw me for the lunatic I am. He was smart enough to know that insanity has no race.
Not all white people are racist. But I've had two that claim to have loved me, say racist things towards me. I actually told both of them to stay out of my life. They hated each other and both wanted me to kick them out of my life. Funny how the saying "be careful what you wish for", is the only saying that's true.

What were the things that were said? Stupid things. Yes, I am Mexican; I'm also Irish, French, American, and Native American.. I'm also a beach baby, but all of that is thrown out the window, because I'm MEXICAN!

Assuming I speak Spanish, is prejudice, and is a stepping stool to racist. Making a post calling me "a Mexican lunatic" is racist. Why does my race matter? If I'm crazy, that's my mentality, not my race! Dumbass!!!

Both f these mayonnaise bitches have said to me "wow, you're Mexican is showing". Not only is that racist, it's plain rude. I'm sorry that your white privilege has allowed you to become so ignorant. But clearly, people need to get educated properly on basic human mannerism.

Not all Mexicans are crazy. I'm the tigger of insanity. Coz I'm the only lunatic~~~~~~

It's sad how I trusted and loved him, even forgave him for saying something so racially ignorant. But seeing him say "Mexican Lunatic" like some racist dick that wanted a different race to prove they weren't racist. It's disgusting. It really makes it hard to trust people. Especially people that hurt you after claiming to love you.

I'm so fucking glad he's out of my life. He can be fake with whoever saying whatever. I just want my stuff back, all of it. And I don't want to deal with getting a restaining order or filing any lawsuits.

I can't even....

Hello sugar cubes~ I know I've been rather ...... missing here. But here I am to rant on how much bullshit has been thrown on my day off.

Work is a bitch as it is, right? You deal with people you hate.. costumers. You find that there is such a thing as stupid questions, why? because adults will ask them. .....hey bire, pik it up, bring it to me asking "what is this supposed to be an animal or something?" *internal screaming*

So Today is my off day, I have been needing one after the holidays. I'm waking up in a good mood. I got a good morning text from one of my baes. Yes I have more than one. (fun fact; majority of my facebook people are BAE)

I have date plans today with Otter, we're getting ramen later and going to see the movie.... SING!!!!! Yes I wanna see that movie! Don't you prejudge me! I'm here like "ah a nice rainy day! Perfect for ramen and a movie!

I get on my lappy to see my emails, and there I see it. An assless hole trying to start shit with me. Now, I don't like getting into people shit. I usually get dragged into it. So yeah I'm gonna say what's up when there's something up. I brought it to this person's attention. Weeks ago. A while back there was something said towards me that I didn't get the pleasure of reading because it was taken down. ... we all know I went beast when I said "don't be a bitch. Say what you're gonna say and mean it. Coz if you don't have the balls to back shit up, don't start it in the first place."

Today I get a reply, and I actually thought it was done and over with. Nope! I get something like "well i'll put it back up if you wanna fight".... cute. I don't start fights, but I have a blast finishing them. Unless I'm in a relationship, then you bet your cherry ass I'm starting more than half. But with people, nah. Just don't piss me off.

So~ I'm in yet another ad mood,it's getting worse because it's my day off and it's been ruined before it can start. Let's hope Otter gets me in a good mood with the new Ramen place he's showing me. But for now.... I'm not having anything, from anyone. Unless you're G-dragon wanting to sing to me.... That will be very accepted!