I realize that in addition to not updating much artwork, I haven't been posting much lately, either...
Just thought I'd say, I'm still here and ok. A little hungry X3 Lol I'm so anxious for Thanksgiving vacation! D= We get Wednesday and after off, so I'll only have to go to class one day that week! =D *dances*
Tomorrow I'm going with some friends to the Haunted Hayride down south, then perhaps to IHOP afterwards =3 I think there's going to be about 20 of us. I'm glad that one particular person is going to be there, but he prolly won't go along to IHOP because he's also got a party to go to that day =( Better than nothing, though, we are in his hometown, anyway XD Yesterday, I asked him what he thought of me (I was urged by one of my guy friends to do so... Event though he was interested somewhat). His response was awkward and didn't really seem like an answer, but I still felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders to say something. I think that was probably the first time I've brought up something face to face with a guy I like. Whether or not things will change, I have no idea, but don't think it really changes anything other than getting things out in the open. =P Well, I'll have ot wait and see what happens.
I'm so bored with school already =/ I wanna graduate... X| Then again, what awaits me ont he other side of that, I don't quite know... orz *sigh* I can only hope I head in a good and fun direction and life will be satisfying even if it might be hard sometimes. Love, I know not what awaits. Happiness, I hope for. A spark in my life I would like now to disperse the slump I am in.
Also, I really wish/hope/pray that my dad's condition will improve. Ever since Grandma passed away, he hasn't been the same. His short term memory got worse and he forgot some details that should've been in his long term memory as well. It's difficult to just get him out of bed in the morning sometimes to take his medication. I want him to accept his mother's passing even if it would be difficult, and have it stick so he can move on with his life. Sometimes it's like dealing with a child, and that saddens me. I wish I knew what to do. Worse case scenario, he would have to be out in a home. I don't really wanna just dump him off to make things easier for us, but it's difficult to manage home/work/school life when he keeps forgetting important things and is stubborn about taking his medication... *sigh* I don't know what to do. It's a bad combination of circumstance plus his personality. He didn't talk much about what he was really feeling and he didn't even like taking medication before this, but he did it because he knew he needed to. And now, he expects us to do everything for him. It's rude, because even if it's more difficult for him to get up, he's capable of walking places and doing things himself. "Do this, do that" it ticks me off sometimes. I'm not a maid. =ene= *sigh*
Why is it when I go to post with no intention of typing a lot, it turns into a rant, anyway? =>_>;= I don't even feel satisfied typing all that... ;orz Now I've tired myself out *flops* And this post started so positive, too... =;~;=
I'll end it here, then. Ja ne, minna-san. =@.@=
Now, here's what you're supposed to do, and please do not spoil the fun. Copy and paste this into your journal, delete my answers, type in your answers and tag 5 of your friends here in dA to answer this.
If you're a guy - post this as "my kind of girl"If you're a girl - post this as "my kind of boy"Then, tag at least 5 people.
1. Do you need him/her to be good looking?
- It helps... quite a bit. However my perceptions of good-looking may differ from others'
- Yes. I need to be stimulated
3. Preferred age?
- I usually go for younger guys, but same age or older isn't bad, either.
4. Preferred height?
- Same height or taller... Although too tall will give me neck pains... If so, he'd have to be willing to bend~
5. How about sense of humor?
- It an ABSOLUTE requirement.
6. How about piercings?
- An ear peircing might be nice~
7. Accepts you for who you are?
- Of course =o~O;=
8. Pink hair?
- Never considered it X3
9.Mushy or no?
- A little sometimes X3
10. Thin or fat?
- Thin is somewhat attractive, but I do like a little meat... Otherwise I'll feel uncomfortable... Two skinny people hugging is dangerous sometimes XD lol Proportional =P
11. Black, Brown or White (skin color)?
- I like a little tan <3
12. Long hair or short hair?
- Long... I like something to run my fingers through and grab onto (You're such a man, Keri... >.>; Me: =;A;= *sobs* orz)
13. Plastic or metal?
- The man being made of such...? =o_O;= I'd hope he's nether XD But maybe metal?
14. Smells good?
- Of course... So good that I'd want to eat him up~
- Absolutely not. I do NOT like smoke.
- So long as he's not alcoholic or drinks too much...
17. Boy-next-door type?
- I don't know... I've never had a boy next door =;_;=
- Toned. I don't like ridiculous muscles...
19. Plays piano?
- That would be cool... and sexy~
20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?
- *falls to knees* I can has? =OuO= <3
21. Plays violin?
- *falls to face* Can I has...?! =;A;= ~<33
22. Sings very good?
- I love a male voice that can make me melt~
- No, not really. That's somewhat of a turnoff...
24. With glasses?
- ... OTZ I love glasses <3
25. With braces?
- I think they might get in the way...
26. Shy type?
- I like a balance. But when a guy acts shy of embarrassed, it somewhat brings out my inner beast (Keri, why are you so seme? Me: I don't know! =;A;= )
27. Rebel or good boy/girl?
- Couldn't I just smash the two together?28. Active or passive?- Active?
29. Tight or bomb?
- As in what...? =o_O;=
30. Singer or dancer?
- Hm... Singer X3 I can't dance, anyway
- Um... yes?
- I don't think so...
- One is fine... maybe 3, but in one ear only
- I don't have a preference... so long as they're not scary deep?
- A little <3
37. Mr/Ms. love letter?
- I would love to get a love letter as I have never gotten one =;_;=
- With me, yes... One who's overly flirty will only make me angry/sad...
40. Poem writer?
- When he needs to be
42. Campus crush?
- Doesn't need to, but if he does, good for him =3
- Um... I don't know. But at least not overly...
45. Someone who likes to tease people?
- Oh yes! XD An doesn't mind being teased X3
46. Computer games geek? Or internet freak?
- Yes. Then we can slay innocent footsoldiers together~<3 lol
47. Speaks 20 languages?
- Twenty might be a bit much... 2 to 5 is fine. So long as he sounds sexy when he's speaking them to me~
48. Loyal or faithful?
- Yes. I would be, why shouldn't he?
49. Good kisser?
- Incredibly so <3<3<3
50. Loves children?
- One of us has to... I think it's cute when a guy loves kids, but I'm awkward with them...
... what it feels like to be in love. It's not a good feeling...
I'm not even sure if I feel lonely or not anymore, but either way, the feeling of nothing being there or the same as before does not feel good... When I'm like this, it makes me wonder... "What if Mr. Right came along right now and I couldn't feel anything?" I feel if guys were to approach me right now, I wouldn't be responsive enough, therefore ruining my opportunities... However, part of me wants to be saved... For the most part, I've lost a lot of motivation for things... I don't know.
Why do I even have to feel like this? I don't wanna burden you guys with this =/ But it's not like I can talk to anyone in real life about it. Or at least, I don't feel that I can... even though I have nice friends who'll listen. I want to figure out why I feel somewhat empty inside. Even when it involves the guy I like, I'm afraid things aren't the same anymore...
I don't understand... I do know that I've been talking to more than one guy and that 2 had been interested, although I think one of them has moved on. One expressed that he's interested, but I'm not sure how I feel because I don't know him all that well... The guy that I'd been interested in, I've discovered we're quite opposite, though I still enjoy joking with him, pfft... but things don't really feel the same...
On top of that, there the engaged guy who I've really hit it off with. I mean COME ON, really? I feel like I should give up because I'd been so careful with trying not to step on anyone's toes and see which way is the right way to go, I don't even know if I care anymore. I mean, why is it that when you feel lonely, sometimes you want to be left alone which only makes you feel lonlier? I don't know if what I'm feeling is even lonliness because I want to lock myself away, but just the fact that I feel that hurts because I don't want to lock myself away but I'm losing my motivation and wondering if I'm going in the right direction to find a suitable partner who I can love and will make me feel loved...
*sigh* I've ranted. Again. orz I just don't know, guys... I gonna go now. Ja ne...