Hello there. =^^= Kitty here. Welcome to my site. Feel free to look around. Please read my rants and comment if you have the time. Also, keep an eye out for any manga or fanart updates. If you'd like to chat, feel free to pm me. I'd be happy to talk. I'm also open to requests and art trades. Enjoy. =^^=
Other than that, if you don't mind my rants, then read on.
I'm starting to get better. I'm just really congested and tired, now =/ it's like... my nose was slightly plugged before and this morning I wake up and I can barely breathe. That explains why I was having such a good sleep XD;
Well, Shayde-kun pointed out that I haven't been too active posting on theO, so I thought I'd put a small something here.
I'm unsatisfied. With everything. Pretty much blah. No job, no bf, no inspiration, no motivation. I've debated dropping out of PGR and also giving up on drawing. I'm really more tired than not, lately and the only thing I really look forward to is sleep. I've never had a plan for life, and I suppose that's come back to bite me in the butt. Or rather, whatever plans I did have seemed like my mother didn't agree with or she questioned them. It made me feel like I couldn't pursue what I wanted because it wasn't good enough. Family like mine usually expects me to aim higher just because I graduated college. What if I don't want to aim that high? What if I want to work my way up bit by bit? I've been deprived of what should have been some of the freer moments of my life because my dad couldn't be bothered to take his meds and substituted them with beer and now his situation's worse. Now my primary obligation is to stay around the house so that everyone's who has important things to do can get them done. But staying cooped up for so long with no real goals or purpose has softened me and I'm slowly going insane... Sometimes I hope that I can just drift off into a coma for a while just so I can have a break... *sighs*
My dreams don't seem that realistic anymore with not much inspiration on my side and the book industry seeming to give way to video games... I do not see a good future for myself, anymore. All I can do is get through each day. I feel it's only a matter of time before I'm kicked out of the house, even though my mom wouldn't want to part ways like that, I'm sure that after a certain point, even she'd get tired of me hanging around here...
I've noticed I've gotten weaker, physically, too. I've also lost a lot of my appetite and my calves have shrunk a bit. On the upside, I've managed to stay above 100 lbs, which seems to be my new average compared to the prior 97. *sighs* I don't even have the motivation to go out and lay on that sunny hill liked I'd planned to. I think I'm just going to curl up for a nap, for now, though... I do have at least one more art-related project I should complete because I promised my mom it would get done.
Things seem to have slowed down in terms of activity around theO. I actually don't mind that much, because I've been enjoying the warm weather. It's just so luxurious I can't even begin to describe it. But I am in love with Spring. My favorite season above all, it's a time when things return to life. It's when my favorite flower is in bloom (Magnolias). The air is soft and gentle. On rainy days, it's a good time to nap, read a book, or get some drawing done. The fragrances that fill the air are full of romance and it gives me a dreamy and peaceful feeling. I'm at my happiest when it's spring, I think. Summer's great, but it's more so the peak of things, y'know? Spring... it's just right. The humidity mellows me out, the air is warm enough to keep me satisfied but not so hot that I'll be sweating like a dog. This spring seems to have gotten off to a roaring start with straight 70s all week, which I'm a-okay with X3 I'd been hoping for warmer weather. It was funny, not too long ago, it was chilly, then it jumps to being really warm X3
I'm going to go up to the college campus (which I'd graduated from) and spend some time sitting under my favorite magnolia tree and chilling out. It'll do my body and soul some good to get some fresh air and sunlight =w= I'm just content to find a very sunny area and curl up and roll around in the grass to get comfy X3 That was another thing I wanted to do. I wanted to go to the hill at a nearby park and just sit at the top with my sketchbook and draw stuff =3 Ahh, I'd be so happy to be able to have some peace and quiet away from home X3 I love my family, but being cooped up for a long time, you gotta get out every so often X3
So, theO, continue to enjoy the changing seasons and float along lazily on the Spring current = u= <3 Ja ne~
