LOLI-POP

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The walls have ears

Finally a title with meaning! :D But this post won't have any meaning (as per usual)

I am currently staying at my parent's house which is super small and I am living right above them. You can hold a conversation from every area of the house (except if you're outside and the other person is inside). That means everyone can hear everything at every moment of time!

Not only that but because I am living above them (in the attic) I can't keep the light on since the light comes into their room through the floorboards while they are sleeping.

I have been trying to adjust my sleeping schedule in slow increments so that I can sleep Japan time. Light normally wouldn't be too big of a problem since my laptop has a light but I've been working on a MANGO~ :3

I've opted to saying 'mango' instead of 'manga' now because I am paranoid and have low self confidence about being myself around ignorant people...I feel like if I say manga then people will judge me. That's super weird, isn't it?

This summer I've been given myself as many projects as possible before I go to Japan so I don't have to worry about the fact that I am going to a country that I have dreamed of going to ever since I first learned it existed in 2nd grade. (I think I'm gonna pee my pants) Also I am anticipating a bucket load of tears from myself since I was just watching some videos about Japan and some of the places I am going to so that I can figure out what I would want to do there (since my itinerary is kinda vague) and I almost cried every time I remembered that I will actually physically be there. I dunno how I will handle this....I feel bad for the people traveling with me....;orz

Anyway~ So the first month I did a 30 day challenge where I drew stuff everyday...Even though it's old I think I should post some of those drawings on here. I dunno why I didn't...just too lazy to post in multiple places?

Then the next month (and the month after that 'cause of life frustrations and art blocks and mango takes a long time to draw) I worked on my entry for the Silent Manga Audition. I was gonna do multiple ones but I don't think I'll have time. I still want to do a 24-hour manga and maybe it'd work for the contest but I dunno.

I am super unhappy with what I submitted but I submitted it anyway since I wanted it to be done. I drew it traditionally and scanned it using my school's scanner so I had so many problems. First one being that I have no skills at drawing manga traditionally and second, and probably most important, the scanner at my school is only for text, not drawings, so it gave me some AWFUL scans. Holy crap. Why did I do that?!

So after that experience I decided to....

Work on another manga traditionally~ :D

I was reading the Silent Manga Audition website about editors and how to become a manga editor and they also had stuff about how to become an actual mangaka and what the process is and then they had some FAQs. They might've been too positive, I am not sure, but the impression I got from them is:

1. Go to Japan
2. Contact Manga Magazine from phone number in Manga Magazine
3. Make appointment with editor
4. Meet with editor and show them your manuscript
5. They will give you advice and enter it into the Magazine's contest
6. If you win it gets published and you are a mangaka

I don't think I can do number 6 since that sounds pretty far-fetched for me...but I WILL be in Japan I AM working on a manuscript and I CAN make an appointment with and editor and meet with an editor.

So I'ma do that.

I've been working on this manga more seriously (not that I haven't done that in the future) and since I want to have immediate feedback from the editor, and I also don't know how to show an editor my work if it's on the computer (printing is not an option since printing manga is surprisingly difficult if it's with the wrong printer and uses up a TON of ink), and I don't really have a good program to make manga in except Krita a little bit but screen tones are a pain and any 'manga' effects are a pain.

Yep.

I'ma do it 'cause I can. Why not?

I finished drawing all the pages I have manga paper for. I need to buy some more manga paper when I get to Japan (oh gawd I am so splurging on art supplies *3*) and finish the rest there (a bit of a pain but what can ya do?). But I have almost all the pages drawn except for the first two (the other pages I drew on computer paper).

I have made so many mistakes with the ink, too. I don't know how to do the spiral-y things and and speed lines and all that jazz without smudging! ;m; And then my panels are bad too and guhh...;orz

But I decided to make more detailed backgrounds~ :D They are really good for me who never does backgrounds but I compared it to Noragami's art (which I shouldn't have done since the duo that did that is made up of the person who specializes in drawing characters and the person who specializes in drawing the backgrounds so obviously the backgrounds would be good) and then I lost some confidence...;orz

I'm getting there little by little and if my manga gets rejected or something (however that goes) I'll post it online.

I've been spending all my time on these projects so I haven't had time to do much else online or whatever. I mean I HAVE had time but le guilt...

I have been playing some games and reading mangoes and watching animoos for inspiration and incentives, though.

Recently I watched Wolf Children and I am surprised how much of an effect that had on me. I couldn't sleep after I watched it and I kept crying about the ending. I dunno...just the ending made me feel really depressed...Like it was a bittersweet mainly happy ending but it was really painful...;orz I don't think I want to watch it again even though it was really good.

Maybe eventually I will want to watch it again or something but it's just too painful for me. I don't know why...I prefer my endings to be really sad and I'm okay with sad movies in fact I get attached to them if they made me cry but this one just doesn't sit well with me. Not sure what it is...

I am also watching Ranpo Kitan: Game of Laplace and HOLY CRAP IS THIS A WEIRD ANIME. I don't understand what's going on and it's way too fast paced and the mysteries are terrible but I can't stop watching it! ;3; The music is cool and I like the short autopsy scenes:

It makes me fired up for some murder mystery! >:D And the main protag is super weird...like they keep drawing his butt really detailed and make him look as cute and feminine as possible but he's a guy and we have to remember that he's a guy...but like....yeahh....Quit with the butt details it's annoying.

Visually it's great whenever they are talking about the murders and stuff and there are a lot of great ideas just really bad execution. Like they are trying to do a lot of things in 20 minutes that they just can't do. It'd be better if they extended the episodes or something.

I really liked Jigoku Shoujo and I feel like they are similar in format where there is a short story every episode with some of the same characters. I think Jigoku Shoujo worked better since it told it's story very traditionally with symbolic characters of death that sometimes showed personality but the focus was on the decisions people were making and why.

I feel futakomori's last few episodes were especially powerful because throughout the series the formula of events is established where we see somebody's story that they want to get revenge and they contact the Hotline to Hell and all the jazz about how it works, then how they end up pulling the string, and then them getting ferried to the gates of hell by Enma Ai. But in the last few episodes it breaks this formula and starts focusing on another character who wasn't super major and we didn't know that much about and we keep learning more about him and then the best scene of them all when Enma Ai stops the ferry was super powerful for me.

I think if they took that route it'd work better where they establish a formula and put more focus on ONE individual character and have a few characters interact with them in a super basic level then I think it'd work better.

Also these mysteries...I am trying to think of a mystery anime or manga that I actually liked. I do like mystery manga but most of the mysteries are super duper obvious and it IRRITATES ME. I want to have fun trying to figure out who did it. But I don't think I've ever had that experience...it's mainly that I know who did it, but I want to know why.

I think that's why I LOVE Himitsu Top Secret since it's all about motive and less about mystery. Well, the mystery is why they did it.

But with Ronpa Kitan it's just like 'Here is a guy who did creepy murders, here is how we caught him, here is his motive, the end' but they TELL YOU.

I can't stand being told things by anime and manga...

I think that's because I've spent so much of my time on Silent Manga. I KNOW you can write a story without telling anybody anything so just DON'T.

I just need to gush about Dragon Head for a little bit. It's the PERFECT example of showing and not telling. NOBODY in the story knows what's going on, which fits with it's theme of fear. It never outright tells you it just SHOWS you some evidence. All the dialogue is built on characters not exposition and if it's exposition it's not reliable. Nobody knows what's going on, even if they think that's how a situation went it might not have been.

I think it might be up there as on of the best mangas I've ever read. It was somehow so succinct in it's story telling. There wasn't a chapter I felt was unnecessary to the overall theme of the manga and it explored all of this without being preachy or telling you what to think of what it even happening.

IT'S SO GORGEOUS~ <333

I highly recommend it from the bottom of my heart!

I still don't know if Ronpa Kitan is any good...like maybe I am missing the point of it...but it feels like it's going in the wrong direction with a lot of it's stuff. I am wondering if it'll end up like Homunculus and being like 'haha! Tricked you into thinking that all stuff you read was actually meaningful' or something like that. By the way, Homunculus it another great manga, though I don't think it's as clean as Dragon Head since there are several scenes/chapters/arcs that I felt were pointless. I love it because it establishes a supernatural world at the beginning and then later makes you question if the world they are in is actually supernatural or is the main character insane.

But yeppp. This post is getting long (as per usual) and it's 5 am....I should probably go to sleep....but wahh...I dun wanna...;m;

OKIEDOKIE! THERE'S AN UPDATE!

ADIOS~

Portraits~ :D

I am...procrastinating so hard on things that I actually want to do...So I did potraits~ :D

I keep drawing moonlitdream's characters when I'm bored....

I think I am getting the hang of Gabe and I think I always draw Stefan looking super yaoi manga glasses guy-esque! XD I think I've drawn Nolan once before but he's just so hard to draw because I don't really know what I am trying to draw...O.o; Like when I think of Gabe I think 'just draw him manly' when I draw Stefan I think 'pointy and suave' but when I don't think of anything when I draw Nolan. Also I am bad at drawing Dare! Every time I draw him he looks like a girl. I don't know why this is...O.o; I think 'cause he has round eyes and hair that I would normally draw for a girl.

I also drew my character Tadao 'cause I wanted to draw a rounded face. Also my new OC Orihiko who is actually really old but I just now named him. Orihiko sounds like a girl's name now that I think about it....It's funny 'cause he wasn't going to be in my story at all but I needed another character for this one scene and then he ended up being a major character. Woops~

I also draw Ametsu the Ninja's Kippon! I couldn't tell if he was wearing a hat or that was his hair though...so I just drew him like she did! XD

Yupppp....

I need to work on my comics...guhh...but...I just have this inferiority complex about it...Like every time I start I'm like 'that looks hideous' but I don't know how I will get better unless I just draw something...blehh

*goes to read other mango for inspiration*

I've been reading like 10 mangos at a time and it's not a good idea. I got so into Homunculus that I'm having a hard time reading other stuff....;orz I want more Homunculus! TT^TT

Okiedokie~ Bye-bye! Gonna actually go read some mangos (probs some shounen I've been ignoring)

ADIOS

Gaiz.....internet...ughh...

I keep getting lost in the internet....;orz

Actually mainly I keep giving myself more and more tasks to do. Stuff for practicing dance, studying Japanese, studying anatomy, practicing inking, practicing coloring, practicing making manga thumbnails....just..guhh...

So mainly that's why I have been ignoring various sites that I go on. I don't mean to, but it's either socializing or studying/practicing stuff and I just don't know what to choose...;orz I know humans are supposed to interact with each other, and how could I be a successful artist without it? But it's just...not as fun as studying or practicing stuff...;orz

No offense. I love joo gaiz.

This isn't some post about how I am ditching this website or anything. Naw, dat'd be silleh.

But mainly I'm just offering an excuse from my ridiculous absence.

I want to talk on here more and also hang out with my friends more, but I also want to practice and study some more too...guh...

However in other newss...

THANK GOD FOR THE EXISTENCE OF COMIC ZENON! ;m;

I might have the chance to actually talk to an editor about my manga while I am in Japan. So I plan on calling the company once I get there and get my schedule and it's killing me how close to just touching my dream is!

That means I should get to it and actually write all this stuff I've been reluctant to write because I don't have the skills. I just need somebody who's job it is to critique my stuff to slap me in the face and tell me what I need to work on. That'd it be the best thing ever.

I have been using my brother for help on plot, I am in the stages of needing to do the thumbnails/names for my first chapter. I technically wrote my first chapter before, but after re-reading it...there are so many problems and also it's pretty much like a lot of manga...so I wanted to go a different more simple route.

I think that has strengthened my manga even more because I have simplified my plot and characters some more so that I know how they would react to situations. I can also make them more complex by contradicting certain situations and showing them in different lights.

However my biggest problem is just the thumbnails...I don't know how to start them at all. I keep starting with the same panel and I...ughh...it's just SO FREAKING DIFFICULT. It IS of course supposed to be the hardest part and it's just so...so hard...;m;

Which is why I am practicing with that. I want a good action manga so I have copying pages from manga that I find have very good action scenes in them:

Also, I have been working on making video essays about anime and manga in order to increase the level of discussions about anime and manga to a deeper level of analysis rather than the crap I've been seeing on youtube where the people are just like 'Well, Gon where's this green suit and has spikey hair and then he is kinda stupid but we've seen different sides of him that show that he's a super complex and original character' ...naw...naw that's not how ya do it bruh.

I mainly want to do it because I like talking about anime and manga and analyzing them, but also because I want to work on my speaking skills. I am trying to make simple animations and the overall look of the videos to be like a visual novel character talking to you about anime and manga. I have already drawn stuff for it I just need to practice some video masking techniques and figuring out the best course of action for tackling something like this...

So far I am working on a review of Tokyo Ghoul manga and anime (unfortunately I don't have very nice things to say about it so I need to work on finding nice things to say as well, 'cause a review/critique is worthless without something constructive to say about it).

I am also very close to finishing the script for one about writing a good first chapter to a shounen manga which is mainly analyzing Naruto's first chapter. I have been reading and analyzing the first chapters to several popular shounen series to help me with my own manga, and I was surprised by how well written Naruto's was. I think it's a fine example how one should go about writing a shounen manga if you want to keep cliches in it (Hunter x Hunter was also good with this, but I thought it was clearer and more worth talking about Naruto since it is more popular in the US and has a lot of mixed reviews)

However, just because I think the first chapter of Naruto is good doesn't mean I think it is a great series. Which is why I am also working on another video which critiques Naruto's portrayal of villain characters as I have ranted about a few posts ago. It will be a comparison of Hunter x Hunter and Naruto (again, as I did in the previous post).

Actually I should just list my ideas for videos (although the ones I said above are in the process of being created so they will definitely happen the others may or may not happen and are just suggestions to myself):
Hunter x Hunter vs Yu Yu Hakushou
How anime fails as an art medium (Oh yeah! This one is pretty much already written since I wrote a paper on this for my summer workshop! XD Sorry, this isn't really attacking anime it's more of a discussion about how to improve anime)
Tokyo Ghoul review: a growing trend in new anime (Oh yeah...mainly talking about Tokyo Ghoul to talk about the growing trend of the taste for more and more violence in anime....I dunno if I will be able to review both the anime and manga and connect it to today's anime and manga popularity, though...)
How to write a shounen manga (uhh...big topic...)
How to write a shoujo manga (same...big topic...;orz)
Why was Naruto so popular?
Why was Attack on Titan so popular? (relating to Tokyo Ghoul. Probably not a long video...and I'd probably combine it with the conversation about Tokyo Ghoul)

If you have any suggestions please let me know, although it'd probably be better for me to finish a video and then ask for suggestions! XD

Sorry this is so long!

Oh! But maybe you are wondering what the plot is of the manga I was talking about above was all about!

Well, luckily I have progressed enough in the creation of this (I mean like figuring out what I'm actually writing about) that I can tell you think time without having several paragraphs explaining what I was trying to say!

A very empathetic boy who is, unfortunately, quite sickly and has no friends enters into a new type of game created by players' imaginations where he finds he has the ability to eat people's thoughts leading him down a spiral of questions whose answers give him the twisted origin of the game and his own powers.

YAP! I accidentally came across some manga similar to this and it pissed me off a bit, I'll admit. However I've done some tweaking here and there and I'm hoping my perspective will be unique enough to make the story more original. I mainly want to explore the interaction between people and technology as well as growing children and mass consumerism.

Seiichi and Klan are teh mainines plus some Tadao, Yukiko, Poe, and other characters I haven't introduced to you but have existed for some time! :D I finally found a plot that I can pretty much fit almost all my characters into! XD

Yappp...

I think this post is long enough!

BYE-BYE~

(Happy 4th for those in the states even though it's my least favourite holiday~ :D)

Super Stuck

(Haven't been on in forever. I will come back soon with more attention but for right now since I have been doing a drawing challenge everyday + studying + practicing dance + work I've only had time to read some manga and not really sit down and talk to people online...so yeah...once this month is over I will come back in greater amounts...but for right now I need your help! ;m; )

I am super stuck trying to write the manga/webcomic I have been going on and on about and I realized recently that my plot isn’t solid enough for me to write anything past chapter 3, which is lame. So I am rehashing it a bit. However, I still don’t know what the plot is and I don’t know who to ask so I will ask people on multiple sites!

My biggest problem is that I want to write an action manga and all the plots I come up with have to do with a pyschological drama story with no action…;orz I also wanted to deconstruct a lot of shounen tropes, but it’s difficult.

Basically the story takes place in a world where people are so in touch with technology and its advanced enough where people can use their thoughts to enter world that is like an MMORPG. Different businesses compete to promote this kind of game such has holding tournaments and showcasing their own top characters.

The main character is (copy and paste description): sickly, but optimistic boy who has no friends and is ignored by everyone except for his parents.

He just so happens to be really good at video games and tries to use the above game to find himself and finally be noticed as a fellow human being.

Is that too cliche? I didn’t want to do the MMORPG thing ‘cause I dislike manga/anime like that but I can’t think of any other way to make a fighting story. I want to focus on the relationship between media, consumerism, and introversion.

JAPAN

I have been getting loads of homework recently because my school doesn't believe in breaks (unless breaks mean breaks from tests? But it doesn't mean breaks from presentations or papers).

I am on my break the week after next and yeahh...way too much homework...so I gots no free time.

But tonight I ditched socializing to watch some dramas and I just realized I should probably post about this one here since this something I've probably been going on about for years that I've always wanted to go to Japan, of course.

THE TIME HAS COME!

Next year I get to study abroad in JAPAN~ :D I get to see mah friends again and go shoppin' and buy some real clothes~ (Not kids clothes...for that is what I wear...;orz). I also plan on cutting my hair the style that I want it that American hairstylist people just don't understand for some reason. When I say cut my hair like the picture I would like my hair cut like the picture, that doens't mean give me a trim....O.o; What the heck America??? (Or just cheap hair cutting places and the few salons I've been to)

I am trying my best not to get too excited, but it's not really working since it's already invaded my dreams. It makes it difficult to concentrate on the now...AKA homework.

Yep...but as you can see my brain is not currently working right now and only wants to consume romantic dramas right now...sooo...yeah...can't say much right now. Definitely dead after a week of really hard exams in classes that I can't understand (Economics does not work in my brain).

Oh! There's something to talk about! I just need to get stuff off my chest right now and rant 'n stuff...

I think it's just because I stressed because of my classes but I've been hating people a lot recently. I feel like everyone thinks I'm an idiot because I don't understand Chemistry or Economics (economics especially since this is a first level class) like they do. I am also an Art Major, and that doesn't seem to mean much to anyone.

I've been getting especially annoyed by my friends quoting 'art majors' to argue with me. Excuse me? Am I not an art major as well? Does my opinion not matter but some random 'art major' you met does matter? Also for some reason my friends have been majorly criticizing my doodles for no reason...O.o; I don't understand...it's like they are trying their best to say that I am an idiot and not a real art major or something. Like they were asking who my favourite artists were and then judging me about that...O.o; I like most artists, why do I have to have a specific and obscure favourite. I just gave them Leyendecker, I guess he is slightly obscure, but there are too many artists that I like I really can't just show off my 'art major' status with names of some French guys...

They were asking of the masters...and like....seriously...anybody who knows about the masters know they are MASTERS. They are amazing artists each with their own styles and major skills. Leonardo had his own anatomy style different than Michelangelo's and I like them both a lot, but I don't feel like I could really compare because their styles are so different to me.

Also I often recommend movies and anime to people and nobody ever watches what I recommend them (except for a few of my friends who don't really influence the group). I like having inside jokes about anime or movies that I like. I do that with my brother and my roommate, since we usually watch the same movies and anime. Then recently one of my friends got everyone to watch a movie that he liked and then everyone declared him the movie person since all the movies he's recommended were good. What? You never watched the movies I recommended? What the heck?! And then somebody else was the anime person. She got my friends to read yaoi and watch yaoi shows...Why is she the anime person???? I write research papers about anime and manga and I have written some manga myself and taken classes on it and I am not the anime/manga person?? Nobody cares about my opinions about things I care about...

It really pisses me off...

Maybe I am just feeling insecure about not being able to understand Economics at all...since everyone else in my class seems to understand it pretty well and lots of my friends are Economics majors and apparently it is the easiest class at my school. But I think the teacher I chose was harder on the students than the other teachers, thus the reputation of it being easy...But no...my brain does not want to understand Economics....;m;

They've also been talking to me a lot like I am their pet or some sort of weirdo...O.o; I guess my interests are slightly eccentric...but I dunno...I don't know if I want to be friends with people who look down on my interests...I have become a joke to them and I am unable to have any deep conversations. This may just be because they usually just want to relax and joke and hang out.

I also really hate hanging out. It makes me feel so stressed out. I enjoy talking, but not hanging out. I could be dancing, drawing, practicing Japanese, writing manga, anything but no, they want me to 'hang out'.

Also I just learned about one of my 'friends' using 'negging' on me...O.o; Or that's what my other friends called it. I had a slightly open hearted conversation about being stressed and stuff and how I want to have deeper conversations with people, but they just want to make jokes and then he said 'See, you aren't an idiot.'

When did I ever say I was an idiot?

I am very sensitive about being thought of as an idiot. I think most people probably are. I like my image of an intelligent person, but I break it down and be silly with friends because we have different areas of expertise and I am not perfect and have not memorized all the terms in the world.

I try my best to not really talk about anything because somebody always tells me I am wrong or say I am saying something really far-fetched and ughh... Maybe I just have communication problems I don't know...but people...I don't want to talk to them anymore...it's too stressful...

Also my only friends in my chemistry class think I am the biggest idiot ever when it comes to chemistry. Every time I work with them in a group they keep telling me I am wrong and that the oldest girl has the right answer and then I ask the professor and it turns out I was right all along and then they apologize to me. This happens every time.

Another time, by the advice of my professor, I asked my friends if we could meet and discuss the chapters in order to study because you really know your stuff if you can have a conversation about it or explain it to somebody else, so I thought it would be helpful for everyone if we explained what we thought some of the concepts were and to say it in our own words.

But INSTEAD they thought that I needed HELP on it.

No, that was not the original plan.

As they saw I did know the content and the 'help' seemed pretty pointless. Yes, it was pointless. I wasn't asking for 'help'. Why did they think I needed help if they didn't think I was an idiot?

I have been thinking really hard recently about what friends are and I don't know what they are anymore.

I don't think I enjoy having friends that I know that well because then I depend on them for things that they end up never doing like inviting me to play table top rpgs or just talking with me for more than 30 minutes even though I cut out a lot opportunities to talk to famous artists in order to hang out with them longer and I just sit alone in my apartment, or eating dinner with me on my birthday, or even just y'know including me in that fact that you are eating out somewhere else on my birthday and won't be able to eat dinner with me, or letting me borrow your umbrella so that my laptop doesn't drown in the rain...just things I thought friends would do...

I guess nobody is perfect...

I DO know I have a habit of getting really upset at people the more I hang out with them. I think it's mainly just that I am tired to seeing them every day and I am at my limit of socializing with those particular friends...

BLAH

Sorry for the long rant...I think I am done now...

Recently I have been writing down random ideas I get at random times! Hopefully I will get into the habit of writing these in manga form since most of them are short story ideas. I want to be able to show short concise scenes with a lot of emotion so that if I make the story longer then each chapter will be powerful and I can put meaning into each page so that the story won't be so flat.

I'll just give you my ideas for the heck of it! Maybe they will inspire you as well (I have a lot more written down in notecards and napkins in my pocket but I haven't organized anything so these are the only ones I could find so far):

Reverse Harem #1
Girl who is a like a play boy getting all the boys and flaunting them in front of friends.

Reverse Harem #2
Girl who isn't interested in romance is raided by typical romantic characters types. Tries to put them off on other girls instead of herself.

Guy who is outside of the harem

*Girl who can see success and help guys to their success that she likes. She always pushes them to a place she can't reach so that they can reach their dreams. She does this for many guys, but there is only one guy who doesn't want to be separated from her.

*Person/robot who acts as an average of all the feelings or decisions of the people in a room.

*the smallest particle is the largest space. The world is like a loop ever shrinking and growing. There is not a biggest or smallest (This one makes sense to me! XD It probably makes no sense to anyone else though...XD)

Wellpppp....

I'll end this with a nice song:

BAI BAIIII