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I just want to relieve some stress right here, also so you guys know I'm alive~ :D

I just keep ignoring deviantart, theotaku, and other art places 'cause I want to stop thinking about the need to post art on there, even though I should. I just don't feel like doing any finished art pieces right now...Every time I try to finish a pic I just feel like it looks hideous or I get bored with it. I think I will get better in Spring semester. I think the problem is just that I have been learning drawing and sketching techniques and not coloring techniques, so I don't feel like posting any actual pictures right now.

I also really like traditional art and feel like I am having more fun doing that than digital. My lines on the computer are just aren't as clean as when I draw traditionally. My camera doesn't have any batteries in right now so no pictures of that.

That's due to some laziness...just don't feel like looking for batteries/going out in the cold to buy some batteries.

I have been working on my comic though! But I feel stressed out by it because I think it looks like crap and when I come to that conclusion then I can't get myself to draw the next page even though I keep telling myself 'You just need to do it, you will get better later' And it takes me sooo long to do a page...;m; Actually, that's not true. Depending on my mood it'll take me anywhere from 20 minutes to the entire day.

I am not patient when it comes to art. All the stuff you see in my portfolio has been done in under 10 hours. After 10 hours I just give up. I need to get over that, but meh...too much effort.

I have 20 more pages to do and 10 more pages to clean up. And I haven't even put the text and sfx much work. I wanted to finish by christmas, but that's not happening.

Also my arm has been hurting a lot. I am wondering if it's because of the cold weather or that I have been using it too much to draw manga. I don't feel like I've been using it that much...O.o; It just really I've just been playing pokemon.

I got Pokemon Alpha Sapphire as a present during the holiday that my family celebrates instead of Christmas. I also got Persona 4, but I'm afraid to play it 'cause my house has no sound proofing and the voice acting in those games embarrass the heck out of me...Also the music is mostly rap and it's just and awkward game to play in front of my family. Also Pokemon Alpha Sapphire~! *3* I'm just gonna do everything in that game 'cause there is so much to do and so much I know how to do unlike some other games where it just sounds like overwhelming amount of work to do and I don't care that much, but Alpha Sapphire is coming from my childhood. If I complete that then I would feel like I did a service to my childhood.

So I've been attached to that game and can't get myself to do anymore manga pages...;orz

I just need one punch man or some manga to update so I can get inspired by some mangoes instead of video games.

I'd show you guys a preview of it, but I can't find a page that is good on it's own...which is also a problem...guhhh...blahh...Just want to get this over with, but my hand won't do it. I keep making scribble-y messes which don't make any sense and just make the page look ugly instead of drawing what I have as an outline...blahhh...

I also got some stuff for doing manga traditionally. I got mango paper, pen nibs, and ink. What am I missing here? The pen handle! I can't do anything 'cause I just have nibs and not handle...guhh...I also got some grey toned prismacolor markers which I plan to use instead of tones. Can't really replace tones with markers, but it'll give a slightly more fuller look them and tones are COMPLETELY necessary even though they make me feel better.

I am leaving next Monday to go spend some time with distant family members so I would like to get my stuff done by then, but that's probably not going to happen.

I've also been trying to make SFX that are japanese, but I am having a hard time finding japanese equivalents for what I want to say. Actually...I think half of my sfx aren't even real, they just sound like how I think something sounds...I also want to translate this into japanese and post it on pixiv.

I was wondering, though, when I finish this chapter, should I post it all at once, one page per week, a few pages per week, or what?

I have about 45 pages (I think, again, 20-or so aren't drawn yet).

The last of my pages are in color and I can't tell if that means it won't take as long or it'll take longer...probably the latter...Mehh. But they are action so I won't have to worry about the lineart which stresses me out the most. It's just every line I try to make ends up being squiggly, unlike traditionally. Nobody notices the squiggliness on paper, but on the computer it's just sooo so obvious. Maybe it has something to do with my pressure sensitivity, maybe its up too high...O.o;

Welp, that's what's been going on. Just a lot of working on manga and ignoring these websites 'cause I'm lazy.

I am gonna take an Anime and Manga class for my school's winter term which I am excited about since it's my favourite professor and a class that I really really care about, but I think it'll mainly be analysis rather than creation...I worry about how much homework there will be 'cause my friends took this last year and they told me that it had soo much homework, but I think the crazy amount of homework they were talking about was making manga, which I understand, but I have gotten to the point where it doesn't take me too long to do 10 pages, but it takes me forever to do 45 pages ('cause I run out of stamina). I guess it just takes more practice.

I'm just disappointed 'cause I planned on finishing this webcomic quick enough to work on some other comics that I planned on working on and that's just not happening...also I don't have a nib holder! ;m; So I won't be working on those comics anyway....


Le gasp!

So'p (new word, just brings about the feels of right, and welp isn't a word either'p)

I haven been on here in FOREVER!

I feel so bad, just when I was complaining about nobody being on here...;m;

My excuse is just school...

And also that I like to look at all the stuff in my feed and also commenting on it if I can, but I subscribe to too many people to be able to do that..;orz Eventually it becomes overwhelming, especially with homework.

So I have been ignoring theO once that stuff started piling up and I had so much homework...

I opened up Chromium today to find that all my tabs were closed...sooooooo...By reflex I just logged on here again and I feel so bad that it even got that bad! ;m;

Not only that but I was reading multiple let's plays and now I don't know where I am in the let's plays! ;m; NUUUU

I think I will just go over a few things in my feed...Sorry if I don't get to anything you probably actually care about and missed a lot of stuff or something...I blame school...

Also I still haven't finished the first chapter of that manga I be talking about. 'cause I am sooo freaking lazy..blah...I keep moving the deadline. Also homework. It's not really my priority right now 'cause homework....and when I was trying to work on homework, comics, and dance it got really stressful so I had to no be so strict. I have half of it done, and I realized the action scenes are really bad so I have been researching and studying actions scenes from manga to figure out how to make it better.

Biggest problem I am facing is that my art style keeps changing for each page...;m; STAHP IT MEEE...;M;

Right now I am sick....with something....My friend had mono, and I hope I don't have mono either...but ya never know. I don't share food or water with anyone so it's very unlikely...

Welp, I'll go get on that looking through my feed thing...but I will probably have terrible comments 'cause I have a terrible headache and feel all loopy and dizzy...Had a presentation today that I have been worrying about for weaks and just did something then. Dunno if I even spoke in English...

Also wanna play some vidya games....>3>

Oh and Psycho Pass recently has been INSANE! ;M;

Sketch Dump because I finish homework too early

I think I got too used to the hectic-ocity of last week that I finished my homework way too early. I used today and bits of yesterday to just WASTE TIME LISTENING TO MUSIC, DRAWING, AND LOOKING ART.

So all of these are from this morning and last night...;orz

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After 3 hours of figure drawing I was still in the drawing mood so I drew a female Ash Crimson and various other drawings of Ashy-kins. To be honest, though, the female Ash was actually supposed to be B.B. Hood but I messed up on her outfit and overall proportions...;orz

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I redrew some old pics of mine. One on far left is of Klan, middle is of Andrea Cavalcanti (kinda wanna draw more 'o le charactes from Count of Monte Cristo now), on the right is my Vocaloid OC Ran, in the middle is Tim and Rick~ (<333) workin' on dem poses.....And then a redraw of a really old pic with my OC Yasei and what's-her-face I forgot her name. And then a dead Hinata at the bottom that I am surprised fit in the picture! XD

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MORE GABE AND STEFAN AND NOLAND AND MOONLIT DREAM'S CHARACTERS 'CAUSE I BE LAZY...And also her characters are soooo unlike mine that I feel like it a work out on my brain trying to draw them. I honestly need much more manlier characters...-3-

I also drew some Poe...trying to draw more full body sketches than just sketches of faces...But...clothes just freak me out. If I could draw everyone naked it'd be great! :D Also I am terrible with coming up with poses...;orz

You also gots me otha characters typical of meh sketchy book like the unnamed prince and fairy peeps and then a dash of Klan 'cause EVERY PAGE MUST HAVE KLAN. Also there is a rare bit of Reese on the page. Dunno what urged me to draw him...I think I was drawing somebody else and it just came out as Reese.

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Dito from Drakengard 3~ I really love Dito for some reason...even though he is a terrible character...but OHMAIGAHHH SHOOOTTTAAAA~! <333 Can't get enough of shouta characterssss...Plus his rendering is so BOOTIFUL (and by bootiful I mean beautiful, not full of booty...not too big a fan of le butts)

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Just look at dat face. (that's actually the pic I was drawing) He's got a LONG EARRING. I mean, that's like 100 points for Griffindor I mean I just can't. But he's a terrible character, I mean as annoying as a butt (them butts and me just can't get along).

Also a terrible pic of Ana nude...somehow I gave her the body type of a skinny boy and then I realized this looked so wrong and just kept scribbling. Stuff in the corner are me trying to replicate the styles of me fave artists: Yoshiyuki Sadamoto, Kinu Nishimura, and Tatsuyuki Tanaka. My pen was being stupid and just being supah inky so I shaded the crap outta the Tatsuyuki Tanaka styled one and just ruined it 'cause it did look quite fab before then.

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It is as the top of the pic says. I played: draw character from member. So le names....Judge me. PLEASE JUDGE ME! Santa makes me sad...I can never draw him....And Ash was totes easy 'cause lotsa pages of Ash. When it doubt draw Ash or Klan. These are mah rules. Oh and Sasuke or Griffith.

Actually the characters I draw the most are probably:

Prince and Fairy


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Killua, Hisoka, and Illumi! I drew Killua in different styles and then tried a more me-ish style on the left and it was just all over fail. Can't work. Gotta make a different style. I test my styles by drawing different characters. If I can't draw each type of character then I fail and must find a new style.

Yup dat's all for tonight~ It's good that I keep drawing but...this needs ta stahp...I need to do my actual homework. I feel like I have tons more homework to do...


Politics homework for Friday, Religion homework for Friday, Studying for Religion test, Art homework (sketches from book), Art homework (drawing from life/human statue), writing/finishing statement of interest for internship, writing a paragraph for dance class about dance video/watching dance videos, japanese homework, japanese studying, japanese research? (I dunno if I am supposed to be working on a semester long paper or nottt???)...

Actually this isn't so much. I feel like I can tackle in my free time over the weekend since I am used to doing all the homework from last weeeeeekkkk....:D

Sorry I be rambling so much....;orz





Here's a sketchdump like I said I would do~

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Tamamori Yuta in the middle~ A poorly drawn Guts in the top right hand corner. He looks like a girrrlll! ;m; Also I did not draw him with his eye closed which is oh so wrong. I need to work on manly men characters...meh

Trying to figure out how to draw Ikuya...I knew how to for a moment and then I forgot! ;m;

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This is the page with the successful Ikuya drawings~ :D Ikuya is the guy with long hair drawn. This is how I imagine him to look but have never been able to draw himmm...

Then I tried drawing Hisoka and I think I am satisfied with his look. Big lips, big eyebrows, big eyes, small nose = supah kawaiiness.

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Main character of Bloodlust whom I've just realized has no name! Oh wellz, I get to that later. I was designing his outfit. I feel like I got it down a bit more...but...he's probably gonna have a lot of different outfits..;orz GUHH! Maybe I should choose a more easier setting...'cause I can totes do that, but le significance of le meanings...bawww...

I wanted him to have golden hair, but now I am debating if I should make him completely black. We were talking about Krishna in religion class and I completely forgot that Krishna was supposed to be all black. I kinda want to make a completely black character who is also beautiful like Krishna. This is when I realized that my main character is...very much like Krishna anyway....Like he feels really godlike in a way....I am wondering if I could use that somehow?

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Drawing Ana because I drew Ikuya and Hisoka before. In conclusion, Ana is so much easier to draw. I can draw billions of her! But what style should I choose? I want a kind of rounder version of Yoshiyuki Sadamoto's style...'cause why not?

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GRIFFITHHHH!!! And Kento Nakajima~ I then tried drawing a pretty girl but she looks like an alien. Hence meh comment of 'I can't draw pretty girls' Since Kento Nakajima was totes so easy.

I have fluctuating times in which I can draw pretty boys and pretty girls.

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I don't remember why I was doing this. I think I finished my homework early or somethingggg??? I wish I could finish my homework early nowww...THIS WEEK IS TOO BUSY FOR ME HOMEWORK-WISE! Internship applications, papers (short papers, but still), art homework (takes up time), roommate's birthday (tomorrow...with no plansss...UGHHH!! TT^TT), family weekend, and many more things which I am forgetting BAAAAHHHH

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This pic has a lot going on! XD

We have a pic of Ash Crimson at the top right in Kentaro Miura's style of drawing Griffith. Ash Crimson drawn in random style at the bottom right. I drew Dio Eraclea from Last Exile and Ghirahim in Kentaro Miura's Griffith style as well 'cause...white hair characters...:3 Then we gots a poorly drawn Griffith in the top right corner....And then A mad Griffith in the middle with his Behelit (of course). And then in Griffith's eye we have a small image of Guts 'cause canon


Dats it bros!


STUFF!! And then an itty bitty rant

And the title is a lie 'cause no rants are 'itty bitty'

First offfffff....

I decided to re-do Idolling. I also told my friend who has an awesome idea for a manga to write out her story so I can draw it into a manga...And then that Bloodlust manga and then mah webcomic and the I Hate You thing...sooo....BASICALLY I am just digging meself a grave in work. Actually my plan for all these different projects isn't for me to do all of them at once or try and get them all done at once, but more like plant them and let them grow into better ideas. Ideas that are in the back of my head at all times that I can work on whenever I feel like so I am never bored~

I was re-reading Idolling and I was very disappointed in how I introduced the characters. Ana is a hot headed and stubborn jerk of a character, Hisoka likes Ana out of the blue, and Sachie is just really really weird. Not to mention the fact that none of the members of Sw33t actually have any personalities, that you can see. This is not good in my book. I think characters should be introduced a little bit at a time, or maybe all at once, but not with equal amount of introduction because then that makes things confusing.

So I went back and tried to focus the story some more and I ended up with more than a romance~ It turns out that Hisoka, Ana, Momone, Ikuya, and some other characters all represent a different idea of what it means to be successful in the world. My original idea for Idolling was Ana's explorations of different career choices with a background of the idol industry and that failed, but with this new look at Idolling I can totally do that now~ :D

You see, there are the dreams of being idols which are not only unrealistic but most people think that idols are pretty pointless an being an idol isn't something you exclaim and then have people be all like 'This person deserves so much of my respect'.

Then there are the jobs like doctors etc. that the majority of people look at as successful jobs.

Those are based in reputation. But then don't you also get success from making a lot of money? Or is it success that you are happy at your job? Or is it success that you explore the human condition? What is success? This is the main question of Idolling hence the name IDOLling. Because you idol one position over the other and seek it out as your goal.

'kay so basically Idolling has fermented into a new story with the same characters and same original theme but more clear and with a different flow. I just need to figure out how events will flow and what sort of fun scenes I wanna put in~ Also it's difficult for me to write romances right now for some reason.

Last year I was so excited about romance, and although I do still love romance mangas and dramas I don't get excited about real life romance anymore. I don't have any crushes or fantasies about anybody's kinda it's difficult to write Idolling as a romance as I originally intended because then I feel like their romance is futile. Like why would Ana end up with that person and not the other person?

'nyway...that seemed like the rant part, didn't it? Well it's not!

It's actually a good segue into my rant.

In my japanese class we were learning comparisons and one of the questions in our workbook was: Do you like good looking or intelligent persons?

I feel like this is a common question. What do you look for in a guy? Appearances or brains?

I usually go for the brains because that seems like a better answer. How shallow of you to say appearances. You should past the appearance to the real person.

That is what pretty much EVERYONE says. This is important stuff to know so you don't become some heartless jerk or whatever.

I mean, yeah, you shouldn't base your opinions of people on appearance. But if this is based in romance then I will have to choose appearance.

I look for attractiveness in guys because I feel like that is a nicer thing to say than intelligence.

From my perspective everyone is intelligent. And I will now explain why I believe this.

If you were in a difficult math class and there is that one kid who always gets good grades or just knows what is going on in the math more than anyone else you admire him (or hate him depending on le feels at the time) for his intelligence. Then you get to know him and you learn that he parties every night and makes bad life decisions. But he is a genius as math. Is this an intelligent person?

Or if you know somebody outside of class and they study diligently and make great life decisions. Are always helping people and never think of themselves selfishly. But academically they are weak and they have a hard time dealing with money then is this person intelligent?

Maybe this person who is bad at school is extremely clever and witty and can always articulate his feelings perfectly. Is this person intelligent?

I believe both of them are intelligent. Declaring another person intelligent or not intelligent is just as shallow as saying somebody is or is not good looking. This is all based on preferences of what intelligence or beauty means.

This also may be based on my own feelings of intelligence and beauty. If somebody told me I was ugly I would be a bit saddened but it wouldn't rock my world because I know I still have intelligence. If somebody told me I was stupid then I would be in a panic mode. It hurts more to be called an idiot than to be called ugly.

So for me to choose a guy based on his appearance versus intelligence is something kind. I don't care about your intelligence, everyone is intelligent to me.

Also psychologically, you are going to judge people based on appearance so the question is worthless anyway. Your idea of that person's intelligence is also based on the image they show to you.

Another thing, I must have a different idea of good looks to everyone else. I go by the mere exposure effect in deciding if somebody is good looking, as I think most people do. Mere exposure effect is the effect of slowly becoming more attracted to a person the more you see them.

For that reason the person might become more stupid, but also more beautiful.

In conclusion, I think it is nicer to answer the question by choosing 'appearance' over 'intelligence' because psychology.


I have been drawing a lot, but I am in my bed right now (I sleep on the top bunk) and it is difficult climbing up and down with stuff in my hand and putting my laptop down and blah so I have not put the pictures from my camera on my computer yet nor have I taken pictures of my new sketches so no sketchdump for today! ;3; BAWW

Also in other news...lately I have been less social. I just don't feel like talking to anybody anymore...I just want to do homework and write manga and watch dramas. I feel happier when I am not talking to anyone...I feel like this is both good and bad. It's good 'cause I get more work done, but it's bad because humans need to socialize so I can't just cut out socializing...but it's so boring for some reason....hrmmm...

Welp I'ma go read a manga that my friend recommended me~ TATA~