Long tiiimeeeee

I dunno why I keep forgetting about this place. Or I don't really forget about this place and its memories and meaning to me but more that I forget to post anything on here.

I dunno why, but since this place has always been the place for me to express my feelings and just let off steam, cause it is my home after all, I just felt like talking about current events.

I confessed my love to somebody for the first time yesterday and this morning they told me they just wanted to be friends. It is a pretty normal experience, but it really feels awful. I never knew it felt this bad. I am also really confused because the way he talked to me was a bit more than friends, with sending pics of food and worrying about eachother's health...well I guess that isn't too different from friends. I am not sure.

The reason I got a reply this morning is that he lives in Japan, so it would have been a long distance relationship if anything. Not only that but if and when I return to Japan it will probably be to a city far away from his. So I guess it wouldn't have worked out anyways...but I just wanted to hear that somebody I liked might have liked me and that I was right in assuming so even if we couldn't do anything about it.

I talked to him pretty much everyday and skyped hima lot and now he is not replying to my messages very often and it is depressing me. I wish I never did this and kept it a secret...but I also couldn't concentrate on my hw. However even now I can't really cocentrate as much...but I feel less dependent on facebook messaging so I can do my hw....but still.....guhh it sucks...

I guess it is good to habe this experience...but yknow, I would really like to have at least one romantic experience in my life at all. >.>

Well now that that is off my chest for a bit I think I would feel better to talk about...MANGA~

So I have reached a sort of dilemma...I decided I would sit down and write a manga...and I have been doing that...with 6 stories....Or around the much...

So lemme give tou summaries cause I do that a lot! I want to work on all of them and finish all of them in my spare time and then send them to publishers. I think eventually one will work out maybe?

So the most recent one I have worked on I call I Hate You. It is about a girl who reluctantly goes to a school for magical girls. It takes place in a universe that is ruled by love and the gods of love and when people come of age their fairy appears. The twin to their fairy is with their true love. The main character kills her fairy because it was annoying, thus ensues the wrath of Cupid as he tries to make her believe in romantic love.

The next one is called Multiple Choice for now. It takes place in modern Japan except there are exams like the imperial exams of Tang Dynasty China where those who pass the top exams get a large salary for the rest of their lives in order to encourage education of others. The main character is a person who wants to become a super hero when he wins and wants to show people that they should believe in this, so he works his hardest to pass the exams, while his rival is a stuck up rich kid who wants to destroy the exams instead.

Another one is called Bloodlust. This is about twins who were separated from eachother after one of them got the other one put in prison for treason for helping 'those of the water' whose blood is actually made up of liquid similar to water. While he is in prison his help is requested by a person of water and he escapes the prison to help him fix a machine that is supposed to find water underground. He wants to unite the people of blood and the people of water by doing so.

Next one is called Under the Cherry Blossoms. It is about a world where demons and spirits are created by the shared consciousness of th people who live there. A boy is adopted by the emperess for some strange reason. The boy has black teeth, skin the can boil water, and likes to drink oil more than water. After introducing him the prince, the prince gets hurt somehow and his face is deformed, leading to other people making him into a demon, so the boy with black teeth must save him from those of irrational fear.

I think the last one is called Blind and it is the least flesshed out,... A boy plays an online game with his friends and they end up dying the next day. People suspect it is the game and eventually he gets psychokinesis powers and I dunno what I am doing with this...

Also one other one if I feel like it would be based off of an old dream I posted about a while ago. A boy and a girl are trapped ina strange school with strange deformed human monsters that attack them. They try to escape, but end up back there. Yappp

My friend is skyping me now and just reminded me of the above situation...ughh....

Well I am going to focus on being more productive with manga and work hard on trying to do all the other things I have to do like maybe find a jov for rhe summer. Lots of disappointments this year. Also my dad got run over by a forklift, which is weird. He is okay, just a broken leg, but a weird thing to come home to hearing. "Oh yeah, your dad got run over by a forklift"
My uncle also tripped and fell and almost died, while my grandma is also quite sick...not a good year so far. I also got several rejections from jobs n people and other things, not so great grades...also had to leave Japan this year too...what a terrible year so far. I look forward to next year when I can graduate and get to it on my dreams.

I want to become a manga assistant for the time being so I will apply to pretty much everyone I can but I don't think I can do that until next year because visas and government documents are difficult...

But if I do I will probably live in Tokyo, and I was thinking I would proabbly meet somebody better there. I am mainly looking for friendly, not weird, fashionable otaku like that last person...I think there are more people like that in Tokyo...

Well anyways, I should probably go to sleep!