Ever notice how you never have a normal dream? There's probably no such thing as a 'normal dream', just dreams that are less bizarre than others. Anyways, this one I had last night REALLY stood out.
First it started off with dinosaurs running around some island and Marvel's Wolverine. Then it was flashed to Australia, where Steve Irwin was feeding a crocodile some corndogs before fish because of a stomach condition it had. Then it's flashed again, some fat kid lost his mother's giant pearl, and is in the Australian Ocean, looking for another one. He is on a large raft made of extremely burnt sausages. And who else is on this fine craft but me! I'm not exactly sure how I got there, but there are two things of french fries hanging off the side, as well as some delicious pickles in the middle. I'm pretty sure it had something to with that (got a first person perspective of eating french fries....they were the best ever!)
Now, this is where it gets trippy. There was a hot babe (probably one of the local Australians) who we had to pull aboard our burnt sausage raft. She starts hitting on the fat kid (which makes no sense at all, since I was shirtless, and he was twelve) and I'm like WTF?! She's not on long before the whole craft starts to fall apart. She's the first one to fall off, and I jump/fall in after her. After getting us both floating safely, she starts to hit on me ("Well aren't you handsome?") and I'm really liking it. But then there's some old lady lost out at sea, so I toss the hot chick to the fat kid (fat's lighter than water, he should be ok) to save the old bag. But when I do, she starts hitting on me and I freaked out (did I mention that we all miraculously kept our belly buttons above the water?) Swapped girls with fattie, and he also handed me the giant pearl he had found while I wasn't looking. I put it in my cheek and started Frenching with the hot chick.
Flash forward to the fat kid coming home to his mother. "Mom, I wrecked your pearl, but I got a new one from Australia!" "You can't get them from Australia! You have to get from from much further North!" I look at the pearl. It's a large yellow-brown sphere of stone.
"EUGH! That thing was in my mouth all the way here from Australia!"
And then the old lady was there again, talking about how I was her 'Special Friend' that day.
In retrospect, the hot chick probably swapped out the pearl when we were frenching. That thieving little wench!
So, morale of the story:
Never French a Girl When You've Got a Pearl in Your Mouth
