So this isn't really about the last post... but definitely related.
We have a student teacher in japanese now and he's only 21. So its really hard to think of him as a sensei, but our professor made us swear we wouldn't have anything but professional relationships with him. Except oops, he's a cool dude so my friend and i hung out with I'm and some seniors for about six hours today. ehehhhh its really bad. Like we could get in serious trouble.
also, i was super nervous bat the whole ordeal so i basically acted like a weirdo???? thats my solution to everything????? anyway #wastedopportunity to practice the language i enjoy learning, that my student teacher probably thinks i don't give to shits about because I'm an asshole in class.
every time I try to be better, i fail miserably. And my friend bridget, she was usually worse than me, but she decided to be normal so instead of at least seeming like a pair of goofballs, its now just me being weird. Oh well. I guess major personality change is almost impossible. I wish it wasn't. I hate the person i've become, or at least, the person I've become on the outside. I'm just a conformist, an attention whore, and an insensitive, obnoxious, hypocritical bitch.
sorry if you ever come into contact with me again.
:P
Today i am a fuck up
tomorrow i will be a fuck up
yesterday i was a fuck up
for infinity i will be a class A fuck up
HAir
Every time I take a drive with my mother our conversation derails into how my father is an asshole and how she gets treated like shit and how much it hurts her that i can't understand. But i can't. Im sorry mom, but I just can't do this with you anymore! It's an awful cycle and its not my life. I'm sorry. But if you want me to get those A's then i can't think in the past. I'm a present person. I don't dwell, no matter how much you want me to.
-Sarah
