GAAAAAAAGH!
God DAMMIT the TARDIS appearing on my roof would be greatly appreciated right now.
By the way, I had a lovely Thanksgiving filled with delicious food and good times, I think I'm just suffering from a combination of cabin fever and heart ache for a man I will probably never meet in my life (if you guessed that his name starts with a "D" and ends with an "avid Tennant," you're correct).
Last night I had a dream where I was trapped in a universe of never ending closets and I had an argument with the Doctor over what I should refer to his shoes as (he said trainers, I said All Stars. Funnily enough, I call them trainers in real life).
Why can't my actual life be like that?
I am driving THREE HOURS in a bus tomorrow to a God Forsaken FOOTBALL GAME and I honest to God want our team to lose. I am so sick of football games I don't even know what to do with myself.
I am sick of dealing with other humans, except maybe about four or five people. Yes, I think subconsciously I have actually starting thinking of myself as a different race than human. The other day I told my brother "curse words are nothing but vibrations in your vocal cords making a sound your brain recognizes, human beings are the ones that give them meaning." Because I'm not like other humans. I'm much cleverer for one. I know that sounds awful to write down, and it's definitely more than a bit conceited, but it's the truth. The lowest grade I got last marking period was a fecking ninety something, in a class most people fail. My brain just assesses things differently, I can't help it. I get 100s on tests without even trying, and I actually resent it because it draws attention to myself. People dislike me for no reason except that I raise my hand and answer questions in history class.
I'm odd, I get it. I'm more than just a little bit eccentric, because I'm into techno and rock n' roll instead of hip hop and country, and I watch Doctor Who and Trinity Blood instead of Gossip Girl and Glee. I'm a Unitarian Universalist ethnic Jew, and I might as well introduce myself as a Satan loving fascist for all that means to people around here. I dress up in fecking COSTUMES and have the gaul to GO TO SCHOOL in them on spirit days. Oh, god that's just mental.
Yeah, and apparently the fact that I don't dress like a goody two shoes priss or an emo wannabe clone, the fact that I'm unclassifiable makes me a stoner.
Kindly piss off and die.
And don't even get me started about band.
Did you know that nowadays, asking people to be quiet because that's what they're supposed to do, is some sort of sin punishable by being branded a "bitch?"
Yes, that's right. Doing the wrong thing is cool. Doing the right thing is bitchy.
You know, I was once told that courage is "the ability to do what is right when everyone else is doing what is wrong," but apparently that counts for shit with the teenage populous of Wimberley, Texas. They'd rather sit around and bitch and moan about how band is so god damned tedious, and they hate it, and everything is everyone else's fault, and blah blah blah.
SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.
Take a look in a god damned mirror, why doncha? You want the problem, just think next time you open your mouth during a band rehearsal. And don't you dare fucking judge me for doing my job as a section leader. I swear, if I, possibly the most talkative person in this world short of Sam Floreani, can manage to shut my fucking face for a rehearsal, you can too. Don't fucking bitch at me for telling you to be quiet.
You need sit down, shut up, and drink your god damned tea.
I'm sorry that this has basically turned into a bitch fest, but I've just about finally lost it. The only thing that is keeping me from screaming this on top of a lunch table is the fact that I have to live with these people one and half more years before sweet freedom is available.
Human beings suck. I don't care if they're curious. They still suck.
You know, except for the human beings sucking part, this is why I identify with the Doctor. I feel so lonely most of the time, persecuted for being clever, disdained for being different, and yet I care so much about everyone my anger is directed at.
You know, I lie awake at night praying for the Doctor to be real. Yes, I'm absolutely mad, but it's what I do. I know he's not... he's just a character portrayed by ten different actors, soon to be eleven. You know I actually cried the other night thinking about the Tenth being regenerated? I've been in love twice in my entire life, but I'm seriously contemplating considering this the third time. I honestly think if I met David Tennant in real life I just might burst into tears and be rendered incomprehensible.
Then, of course, I'd be written off as another batty fangirl. Which I am anyway. I can defnitely admit what I am.
I guess what I'm trying very poorly to get across is that I'm just so sick of being frustrated, and I'm sick of longing for something I'll never have.

God, I'm such a loony... sorry, just needed somewhere to rant.