We Three Kings

This is a short story; my own "True Meaning of Christmas". My OCs are involved, but I hope the real story shines through, as I intended. There may be some minor cursing and a dirty joke or two involved but...yeah. XD Enjoy, and Merry Christmas!

On a warm summer's day, an angel prepared for her job, a virgin was told she would be pregnant without knowing a man, and three kings, each representing their allied countries, came upon a very important astrological discovery that would change their lives.

Though the virgin's name was Mary, her friends called her Casa or Cassandra (which was odd, but bear with it) and she had very long and curly brown hair that made her stand out (making her one of the cutest virgins around), especially when it came to marriage. She was betrothed to a man named Joseph, but his friends called him Crispin, for another reason we know not.

She told her betrothed that she would be having a child- an angel had come to her and told her that she would give birth to the son of God.

"...Casa..." Crispin was doubtful of course. There were many things wrong with this picture; he knew she would never have an affair with anyone because she wasn't the type, but how could she be pregnant? Besides, no one believed in real miracles anymore. So, to preserve her and himself, he was going to divorce her quietly- before they married and before someone wanted Mary-Casa to be stoned.


Apparently, she was telling the truth and an angel visited him in the middle of the night (which was a major pain, especially because he needed that rest after being a carpenter by day) and told him that his beloved was telling the truth, and suddenly a census was held, leading them to take refuge in Bethlehem. The rest is history, but this story isn't completely focused on them.

It's about the baby.

In the far west- yes, west, because Casa and Crispin were in the east and we don't want to explain why three very white males would be from the east- in a astrological room were three wise men.

Now, these three were wise, but they didn't have much luck in the common sense department. They were rich enough to be called kings, so we'll label them as such; the Three Kings.

The first, king, the one who made the discovery of a very strange star in the east that was moving- yes, moving- was a blonde who looked between the ages of eighteen to twenty-seven (though he was much, much older) with brown eyes and a mug that made most women swoon. He was the eldest of the three- and probably the one with the most common sense (though none of them had much) which made him the leader. We'll call him Drew. Yes! That's it, we'll call him Drew, Drew Astor.

"What the friggin' hell is that?" He had one eye focused on the telescope he was looking out of and the other one was closed, but he kept swearing because his eyelashes kept obstructing his view of the stars. "What kind of planet is that?!" He turned to his comrades, hoping he could find some help, but they were both...erm...occupied.

The second king was a brunette who was a little shorter than Drew's 5'11 height with eyes as blue as the ocean and a stern expression that could make an old man say "Yes sir" if he uttered a command. He too was handsome, but there was an odd aura about him, one that said, "Don't touch, I'm taken" so no one ever bothered. He was reading a very big, very wordy book, being the most intelligent of the three- book wise- and was wearing reading glasses at the moment. We shall call him Bruce Parker. "I don't have time for you, Drew. I'm not looking at stars right now."


"Only when you use an alternative word for 'hell'."

Drew blew his blonde bangs out of his face. "Okay then, what the friggin' GEHENNA is that?" He pointed up at the sky, but again, there came no answer. Bruce was reading again.

The third king, and the last of our idiot trio was a blonde who was far younger than the other two kings though he seemed the same age- and he was the sweetest in character- who had various tattoos on his arms and back (though he wanted to take them off, he was too lazy to get them removed). He would have answered Drew, but he was working on something mechanic- a robot that he named Jiro who kept acting up. He was the most intelligent of the three in the electrical department, and his accent could be identified as native to somewhere in Britain. We shall call him Faye Hargil. "Arg! Why do you keep sputtering and being moody? It should be fixed by now!"

The robot simply replied, "It's called a personality, dumbass. Live with it. Love it. NOW PUT ME DOWN!"

Drew sighed, putting his hand on his head. They were getting nowhere with this... "GUYS. STAR. EAST. Look."

"So?" The other two looked at him at the same time with the same "Why do we care" expression, but in different degrees; Bruce looked nonchalant and somewhat pissed off and Faye looked frustrated. His creation made him want to cry...

"It means," Drew said, cutting to the chase, "That somewhere, a king even greater than us is being born sometime soon!"

"Impossible." Bruce didn't miss a beat. "The scroll you're referring to is all myth. We've gone over this."

"Jewish scripture is not all myth!" Drew protested, "I for one believe that their God is as relevant as all others, so I believe that a king WILL be born some time soon. And you know what else?" He yelled, obviously feeling attacked, "I'm going to see him, whether you boneheads come with me or not!" With this, he stomped out, slamming the door to the study behind him.

As soon as the door shut, Bruce and Faye exchanged glaces and walked out after him. On either shoulder rested the boy's hands. "You know," Bruce said nonchalantly, "It's not like we can let an idiot go alone and get killed."

"'Tis right! We're like the Three Musketeers~" Faye grinned.

Drew looked like he was going to cry. "You guys..."

"Shut up, you sap. We just want to stay the three Wise men instead of the two."

Drew didn't know what to say to that.