just a world about everything happening in my life and about some things that I find interesting

going nudez

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I'm still at home taking my breakfast. Later in school we're having our very first live nude model for figure drawing and boy, I'm so EXCITED! I bet I'm gonna draw the best details of the boobs oops!

annoying news

Just updates: Prelims week were bloody and tiring. Definitely ruined my sleeping cycle but it went well. I even got my very first flat 1 (highest) grade for a skeleton skecth I did which I thought would be only 3 (aka "...

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still alive baby!

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For sure, some of you might have heard news about the Philippines. Well as usual, we've been experiencing heavy rainfall and floods everywhere. For me, this is even worse than Ketsana back in 2009 because our house was flooded as well and reached until our waists. A lot of our stuff were broke and no longer good for use. At least I saved my uniforms and art materials. It was very scary.

I'll tell the whole story some other time. But I just you guys to know I'm safe. We're currently experiencing a lot of troubles for buying some new clothes and buying cabinets because 3 cabinets of ours are no longer in good use. And it's gonna be a hard time for me to adjust because of the mess in the house. Definitely not a good place to do my artworks and paintings. I'm considering to go to a dorm but we've got no money to pay for the rent. At least were lucky enough compared to the others who had no more property left and even lost their family members.

Please pray for the Philippines.

prelims...

Thanks for the encouraging messages in my last post. Although I'm still very disappointed about everything and I can't keep a positive look as of now. I'm still... down... But I'm just gonna share a few things.

  • Typhoons have been coming back and fourth the past weeks. Suspension of classes have been frequent as well. There's a coming one that's BIGGER than the Philippines. God, I can't imagine that. External Image
  • I have an eye problem. My right eyelid appears swollen and it hurts when I blink or when it's closed. I went to the clinic earlier and got my medicine. I had to cut off my second subject because I need to rest.
  • Prelims are next week! Good luck to me.

crying... sobbing...

Hey... Weeks have been very bad for me. I'm really getting the artist's depression.

  • My works on figure drawing/anatomy/realism are all failing grades.
  • My paintings skills have gone very bad. My friends' works are amazing while mine just sucks and had shitty grade.
  • There's this very simple photography subject we are given. I've taken shots for weeks and still my photographs are crap. My family already helped me but I'm the one at fault because I really suck at photography. I tried but I couldn't get that shot I want. Thanks to that, I have no submissions for that work.
  • I hate every art that I do. Even the digital ones. I feel like I want to burst out because I'm so useless and I feel I don't really deserve to be in Fine Arts.
  • Payment for my prelims gave my parents more debt.
  • I accidentally heard my mother talk to my father that she thinks I picked the wrong course. I guess even my mother is not proud of my shit artistic skills.
  • And again, the trigger of me quitting college is getting even more worse.

I'm just gonna cry myself to sleep. I have no motivation to make my other art homework right now.