I Miss Being Internet Active

-For Real!!! I use to be posting pic.s up a few times a month, now I'm totally out of habit to even draw... *sadness* Though, gotta say, I have enjoyed being in a relationship of 2 years now. :O It shocks me to even think how much we've been through- especially the fighting. XD I have become a different person ever since the bf and I have been together. (I'm lazier?! O_o;) My room is totally not organized anymore; and I always, ALWAYS want to dress up when we go somewhere out of town. (We live in a small town with nothing to do, or I would just dress up every day we're together... ^^;)

It's refreshing to go back and look at the past posts and art I've put up. -^_^- Also, on Aug. 13 I will have had my gas station job for 2 years; and this Fall semester marks my 4th year at college... *deeply inhales* MAN- that part- totally sucks! ('Cause I'm not kicking ass at college at all!!! DX<) I feel really ashamed of that too, BTW, but Ma reminds me never to call myself a loser. (And I tell that to my Darling too, since, he hasn't finished school by a semester or two of classes and gets depressed about it...)

...My weight loss goals are SLOWLY happening!!! :D (Progress is progress!) I'm hoping that by the end of 2014, I will be the healthiest and prettiest I've ever been! XD I, in all honestly, want to be a goth model, but, I'm too old to start out now, and I wouldn't be willing to do any dying to my hair. (I'm a natural blonde, so that'd ruin it after a few times and make me cry and regret it so much.) SO that's not going to happen anyways... *dies a little* I really love a lot of the fashion that goes under 'goth' since I've been reading manga as a young teen; though my tastes have become WAY less picky as I'm in my early 20's and I'd just love to wear as many of those kinds of things before I'm too old! DX (Yes, I'm practically freaking out about my age because I've been trying SO hard to loose weight since Fall 2008!!! I managed to loose 50 pounds, but then I regained 30 of them back. GEEZ! The relationship's wonderful dinner-dates and college stress is to blame on that one, yeah? Not really, I just didn't have self control after I got in a relationship with a fat guy. He always showed me a good time though! ...We are both re-learning self control and working out every week day- AGAIN. Ugh! Also, we have been Vegetarians since February! Barely any cheating on that, and he's lost about 30 pounds; I'm happy for him! ^_^ <3)

Lol, but anyways, I totally want to learn how to animate and voice act, so I can do it once I have a job/career on my free time. (Catching up and re-watching "Foamy The Squirrel" has reminded me of this passion; as well as the whole of "New Grounds"- Lol!)
ALSO, I really want to get back into the purely passion-driven urge to draw comics again! *heart beats fast* I MISS IT- SO MUCH!!! Though, not gonna lie, I might not even bother with the old ones until actual ideas directly for those comics come to mind. I really loved how much I enjoyed drawing them, or I wouldn't even worry about it; but hopefully, learning more about life will help me create more captivating stories to read and make them easier to write! *crosses fingers* I mean, it doesn't hurt to try, right? :O ...Hopefully, when I live a few towns- or more- away from home in a dorm, I'll use comics as an outlet when I get stressed out with college. I mean, there won't be a TV in each room or anything, so it'll be easier to concentrate on it without it feeling like it's not entertaining... right? *stays hopeful*

My life right now is like a house wife who works part time. The bf lives only five minutes away- for now- and so we eat most meals together. He cooks, I clean, if one of us has work that day, they leave. Then we meet up at my Parentals' house again, eat again, and say good night after a little bit of TV. This cycle continues on that way 95% of the time... It would make me depressed if we never went anywhere, but we do about once every two years- or more- so I'm happy. :) I'm buying too many clothes though. I own over 50 shirts and 50 pants. O_o My room is like a closet with a bed, desk, and a TV in it. It makes me claustrophobic as HELL! *cries* I HATE being in there alone even though being in the living room means my Ma will practically 'hover' around me. I swear, I DO clean my room; I just have a lot of clothes that I got to loose at least 20 pounds to be able to get rid of... I know you're not suppose to, but I totally buy things that don't quite close but I fall in love with. ._. It's motivating me better than anything else though!!! (Except my health, I totally am doing it for that reason FIRST, and to fix my self-esteem SECOND.) I just really have TOO many dreams. REALLY. I'm like all over the place with what I want to do and accomplish. I really want to animate, voice act, act act (lol), sing, dance, model, draw "graphic novels", write novels, design fashion, sew clothes, play music- violin, piano, guitar, you name it; OH MAN- there's just SO MUCH I want to do with this life!!! <3 <3 <3 ...And then I get depressed. Or something scary happens in the world; and I start thinking about WW3 or nuclear attacks, terrorism... just too many things. Also about how the gov. is allowing more and more terrible stuff to be put in, on, and just plain BE our food! *freaks out* I'm following a lot of "fitblrs" on "tumblr" and I just know almost too much... ^^;

Ah, I'm making this entry way too long; eh, no one's even gonna read this anyways... Not even gonna kid myself; but sometimes, it's easier to do a journal by typing it instead of hand-writing it. Lol, reminds me of the movie "Julie & Julia" based on a time when blogging actually caught people's attention. What a long time ago that was. O_O;

<3 PinkKitty1
MON.~7/1/13

P.S. May I one day do AT LEAST a few of my goals well!!! *crosses fingers*

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