While hiding out from the police, the Joker, the Penguin, Two-Face, Poison Ivy and Killer Croc gather at the criminals-only Stacked Deck to play cards and swap stories about their mutual nemesis. Each one has an "Almost Got 'Im" story when it comes to trying to do in Batman.
Poison Ivy placed poison ivy gas inside pumpkins on Halloween, which went off when lit. When most of Gotham City started to feel the effects of the gas, Batman went to the city pumpkin patch to investigate. There, Ivy attacked Batman with the gas, successfully weakened him, and almost unmasked him. However, Batman programmed the Batmobile to run down Ivy, and later pulled a breath mask from the vehicle. He subsequently captured Ivy.
Two-Face staged a robbery of the Gotham Mint for "$2,000,000 in two dollar bills." Batman, in an attempt to stop the heist, was overpowered by Two-Face's henchmen, the "Two-Ton Gang." Staying true to his personality disorder, Two-Face flipped his coin to see whether he would kill Batman or let him live, with a negative "bad-heads" result. Batman lunged at him ineffectively, but was restrained by his henchmen, and Two-Face took Batman's utility belt, strapped him to a giant penny and placed it on a catapult: "The coin lands face down, you'll be squashed flat. It lands face up... it'll just break every bone in your body." In midair, Batman cut himself free of the ropes using Two-Face's own coin, which he had managed to steal, and apprehended the crooks. In return for apprehending Two-Face, and much to Two-Face's irritation, the Gotham Mint let Batman keep the giant penny.
Killer Croc threw a rock at Batman in a quarry. The other villains stare at him for a moment and continue telling their stories, while Croc mutters, "It was a big rock."
The Penguin turned a zoo aviary into a home for dangerous birds in a plot to kill Batman. Pretending to attempt a break-in to the aviary caught Batman's attention; the Penguin sprayed Batman with a red gas out of his infamous "Umbrella Gun". Acting as though the spray were harmless, Penguin ran into the aviary, but then announced over a loudspeaker that in fact the red gas was a nectar eaten by poison-beaked hummingbirds, which were released to attack the Dark Knight. After being bitten several times, Batman threw a batarang at a sprinkler, where the water slowed down the small birds. Before he could inject himself with an antidote, he was attacked and viciously gashed by a cassowary. In desperation, Batman stabbed the flightless bird with one of the hummingbirds, incapacitating it. Batman chased after the Penguin outside, but the villain escaped, flying away via his umbrella.
The Joker and his gang took over and blocked off the set of a Gotham City late-night talk show, his gang holding the audience hostage. Batman went to save the people in the set but was overpowered and strapped to a "laugh-powered electric chair" which would fry him with electricity that rose in voltage the more the audience laughed. The Joker then took over the show as host. With the audience being forced to laugh at gunpoint, the Joker wanted more 'honest' laughter, and pumped the studio with laughing gas until "these people would laugh at the phonebook." He then had his assistant Harley Quinn read names out of the phonebook to elicit more laughter from the crowd. During this time, the Joker got so confident that he took out a sausage and began cooking it with the chair's steadily-increasing electricity until Catwoman broke into the studio and attacked him. While being thrown back, he dropped the metal rod he was using to hold the sausage right on Batman's lap. Too distracted at this point with Catwoman, nobody saw Batman use the rod to escape from the chair — too late, as the Joker was already fleeing the studio. Catwoman, starting to gain on him, was knocked out from behind by Harley Quinn. Then, in order to prove there is more than one way to 'get' Batman, he instructed Harley to take Catwoman to a catfood factory and strap her to a meat chopper. The Joker himself decided to hide out at the "Stacked Deck" for a while to lose Batman. He explains to the other villains that he is getting ready to go meet Harley at the factory, and "turn Catwoman into cat food."
At this point, Killer Croc stands up saying "I don't think so" with Batman's voice, and proceeds to throw the Joker across the room, revealing himself to be Batman in a Killer Croc suit. However, it would seem Batman sacrificed everything to get this information, as he finds himself alone in a bar confronted by his deadliest foes, all itching to get him and in a perfect position to do so. Unfortunately for the villains, they in turn are confronted with multiple loaded guns as it is revealed that every other patron of the bar is a police officer, among them Renee Montoya , Harvey Bullock and Police Commissioner James Gordon — the whole thing was a sting operation. As the villains are arrested, Batman goes to the cat food factory to find Catwoman, bound, gagged, and strapped to a conveyor belt. He saves Catwoman from Harley Quinn.
The episode ends on a humorous note, as Catwoman makes a pass at Batman and implores him to reveal his identity to her, only to turn and find he has pulled one of his trademark disappearing acts. She then smiles, shakes her head and mutters to herself, "Huh. Almost got 'im."