I've worked hard and invested so much time in these words. They are me. The me I would never let anyone see. These words have helped me get through the darkest pits of Hell and come back with only the slightest remnant of injury.
With that said please enjoy what you find
I lay down
Not quite dead, but neither alive
I cry out
A single breath, but no sound
My body contracts
Against my will, quaking shaking
The tears stream down
I’m too young for this pain
Time passes by
Seconds pass, eons wasted
Every tear shed a plea
Every tear shed a prayer
That this isn’t all there is
But my mind however
Sharp as ever
Reminds me
This is all that will ever be
I cower from these thoughts
That continually haunts my heart
Impossible to get away
When I’m never let alone
I flee into the dark
Into unconscious thought
Bet even then I can’t escape
My dreams have turned against me
I used to dream of better times
Of things yet to come
Now my dreams are consumed only by
What has already passed?
Finally I understand
The anguish of waking
If it were up to me
Never would I wake
This is by far less painful
Than walking in the sun
A burning reminder
Of beautiful memories
Memories that kill
Memories that still feel alive
I pray this isn’t wishful thinking
That this is more than false hope
But deep inside I can’t shake the feeling
I’ve lost what I hold dear
Don't disturb
The Beast
The temporary hole
In my head blown all over
The walls
Staineed red with the blood of my
Love but not yet dead
Fond thoughts
Die without
Distraction from
These broken memories
Sharp clear deadly
Tainted by this
Untimely end
My love
My dear
But now, no longer
Will I
Defy my hearts
One desire
In the night in my mind
Paralyzed
Broken down trapped in my mind
Left behind, brushed aside
We push and we pull and we fall
And we break apart
Self-destructive dance that never
Will end if I don’t
Give up on my
bleeding heart
My love
My dear
But no longer
Will I
Defy my hearts
One desire
My love
My dear
But no
Longer
I'll probably wind up toying with it some more, try to make it better but this is what i have so far. later.
Cut me until who I was fades like the seasons change
Carve away these eyes that never saw the truth of it
Rip it all off like the mask I have worn daily
Lying inside myself, divided and conquered
How did I last so long fighting what I am with what I’ve become
And I’d do it all over just to rid myself of this mask
Denied all I felt just to get by twice as hard
Hated what I loved, and loved what I hated
Cut everything until the blood runs red again
Carve out my heart just to ensure its still beating
Rip off the mask that sets out to keep me contained
Give me everything
Fill me to the brim
Just so it hurts twice as much
When you grab my soul
And rip it from my flesh
Feel the blood on your hands
Roses could not be as red
I don't care if i bleed dry
Its better to be dead
Than remember life
Truth be told i can't recall
A time when i wasn't dead
I've dreamt of how the sun would feel
Upon my pale cold flesh
But dreams are so disapointing
When you wake up in your coffin
