I've worked hard and invested so much time in these words. They are me. The me I would never let anyone see. These words have helped me get through the darkest pits of Hell and come back with only the slightest remnant of injury.

With that said please enjoy what you find

Unfinished Chapter

Draft of new poem/song

Untitled

This world will never be
As i expect it
Why am i not surprised
That your behind it
I will no leave behind
All that was once mine
To make you feel like
It wasn't in vain.
It was always in vain.

No matter how i try
You just won't die
I cry out why
And hear no reply
No and again i'll try
To just scrape by
Maybe I'll take your life one day
Cause its not to late
It's never to late

No one will ever see
What you've commited
And what a shame
It wasn't needed
So are you proud inside
Your face seems to belie
Your doubting all now
Was it right?
It had to be right...

Chapter Who Gives A Shit

So here we go again
Forging another sin
Forgetting all but how it will end
I can’t remember when
I could hold my head up high

In this catastrophe
Dwelt my enemy
Playing havoc with my sanity
But I’m the one to blame
I’ve made a habit of fucking up my life

Still the fires wait
Fueled by rage and hate
Death blood and hell are in my fate
Can you comprehend.
What its like to burn before you’ve died

But in my vanity
I could not help but see
Just how far gone I could possibly be
Its time to end this thing
I’m ending this shit tonight

And in this razor blade
I found that I was saved
Baptized in blood that will never fade
It’s to late for me
I’ve already spilt my crimson wine

Street Chapter

Hollow Eyes
~Your Empty Stare~

dont know where i'm going
but i sure as hell know where i'm coming from
rose out've the dust
worked twice as hard to get half as far

dont you dare look my way
with your bleached white fake nice smile
i'm not interested in your shit
so turn the fuck away

Cause I Am
everything you've alwasy wanted
what you've always thought about at night
laying in your bed
rapeing your mind
cant stop the want
the need
for something so wrong
it feels so right

And I Am
Everything they dont want you to be
all the things they tell you not to see
on tv
stick it to the man
fight whenever you can
These things
And so much more
That I Am

Yeah I Am
Everything that you could never be
buttoned down so hard its amazing you can breath
do they tell you to shut up
maybe to grow up
hell at this rate
you aint never gonna get up

dont know where i'm going
but it sure as hell aint gonna be near you
suffocating like laying in a coffin
girl better start clawing your way out
your not gonna be breathin much soon

and dont wait
for no knight to come and save you
its not gonna be me
and he aint never gonna come
come on
not like you were part of the dust
settling in your lungs

i rose out've that dust
i fought it all
never gave up
never stoped to crawl
got up everytime
and gave them hell
twice as hard

dont talk to me about hard times
you've had everything you've wanted
born and raised
princess of LA
you think you know
know what its like
to grow up without a daddy
who was more intersted in makin other babies
wonderin when you'd get to eat again
seein your mommy knocked out and barely movin
can you even imagine
workin at three
to help support a never meant to be family
all the stares
but none of them cared
thats how i learned
not shed a tear
your just like them
takin a look and closin the book
dont care whats inside
just like the way it looks to your eyes

dont know where i'm goin
but i sure as hell know where i'm comin from
fact is girl
that you DONT
so dont EVER pretend you know me
that you know what i'm goin through
or gone through
you aint NEVER gonna know
thats just how they want it

they dont want you to speak
they just want to be heard
whats in their best interest
is this robot/clone girl
so go back to your life
lay back in your box
let them shovel the dirt
and put on the locks

to be honest this was an attempt at rap.
thought it would be fun to give it a shot.
and i am pretty tired so i'm loopy and really dont care if its crappy.
tell me what you think.
and dont forget to check out the post below this one
it is also new.
please comment both.

~love ya'~

Forgotten Chapter

Wrote this a while ago but never got the chance to put it up so here it is.

Crawling

You assume my strenth
Is yours whenever you want.
And I am glad to give
But sometimes you ask to much
And it seems that you forget.
I am not God.
I am not a hero
I can not heal your scars
And just forget my own.
I stumble.
I fall down.
I get ripped apart.
I have pick myself up
Alone.

On hands and knees I crawl
Drowning in crimson blood.
How can I offer you a hand
When I'm still weeping on the ground.
How can I help you
When I can't even stand?
Carved from stone
I must be
Cant let the world
See me shed one single tear.
I must be strong
When others fall.
Must be the rock they lean against
When things start to look down.
But its hard to go on for so long

I've seen your pain.
I've tried to help it fade.
Committed to myself to it every day.
But when I need to dress my wounds
And wash the caked on blood away
You deem me uncaring.
Even though I saved your soul
From certain death.

Chapter Twelve

Walking down this hall
Where it leads I've yet to find.
Strang how no sound follows,
Not even footsteps.
As if blanketed in snow.
Strange how no shadow is cast
Upon the velvet walls.
Yet light enough there is to see.
Light so bright it nearly blinds.
Still my path is clear.
There are no doors at either side
Only this narrow coridor.
I'd turn back,
But nothing is left behind.
The path I've walked fades as my footsteps
Fall.
What lurks behind I do not know.
What darkness follows
Waiting to feed troubles me not.
I do not fear to turn my back
On what was.