Realization / Battle / Just a Memory

First of all before you read this, please have a tissue box on hand. That is all. Also, this is a REALLY long post…and when I say long…I mean it! 16 flipping pages!!!

It will probably take about 10 minutes to read if you read slow.

CHALLENGE: To make it more interesting for you, I included some songs into my post and I want to see how many of you guys catch them. So there are 17 songs hidden in here. Some are the titles of songs and others are quotes from the song but be careful, I added and subtracted to the lines. Who ever gets the most right with the name of the song and singer will get a free PGR request from me, however, you will need to PM me with the answers. Some are sort of obvious and others are not. Also, 2 artists have two songs in those 17.

Included: Lux, Estelle, Gil, Shupple, Abbie, Hiro, Hoom, Hon, Xio, and mentions of Lupe and Reo.


It seemed to take me forever to get to my room. My day started off basically with a battle which technically was at night, but it really hasn’t gotten any better because I get bitched at by Lupe, I try to take a nap in my own room avoiding everyone, and then I am rudely awaken by Lupe. God, that damn rabbit Lupe is such a pain in the ass, she’s a giant problem walking around on 2 legs. It wasn’t like that before, she was actually kind of cool when we first met but since the contests were destroyed she has found any reason to spit at me and yell at me. I have no idea why but damn that woman must be bipolar or something? It’s just best for me to stay away from her because I don’t need her in my life anyway.

Even so lost in thought, I still manage to bump into people even though I wasn’t paying much attention. They began to fall but I caught them before that would happen and to my surprise it was Estelle.

"Oh Gomennasai! I wasn't looking! forgive me!" She said looking up at me. “Lux-kun…” I haven’t seen her much lately and I am not entirely sure why but as I looked at her, my heart began to beat a bit faster. In a sense, you could say that I was really relieved to see her. She changed her look and obviously she was beautiful. I wanted to tell her just that but my lips moved but the words couldn’t come out.

“Estelle…” Finally at least I was able to say her name as I let go of her.

"Why, thank you for catching me. If I would of fallen, that would of been dreadful for my tail once again, ne?" She joked but it appeared she was nervous around me. Something changed from that other world we were in and it did something to her, I could feel it. "Lux-kun .. Stop staring at me like that... I'm starting to get a bit frightened..."

No I don’t want to scare her, but I needed to hold her. Grabbing her gently I pulled her into me as I held her close. My heart was racing, however, I needed to tell her how I felt and what I saw. She deserved that. "Estelle... I .... I ... " Why aren’t the words coming out? This really isn’t that easy as I thought they be.

"YAAAA!" She began screaming as she pushed me back and stumbled. I honestly can say I was shocked and couldn’t believe she just did that. It was like I was an evil person about to her hurt. "Yaa.. No.. No Lux-kun. No more hurtful untrue words.. No more.."

Her eyes were watering, no I can’t let her cry this isn’t what I am trying to do. "No, Estelle! Please just listen to me!" She shook her head and I became uneasy with this.

"Noo! I won't, I wont'!" She continued to stumble backwards but as I tried to help her, she hit me. She honest to god hit me. What has happened to her?

"Don't touch me! Lux-kun... Just leave me be. You wasn't going to tell me anything? Nothing at all between you and Miss Hoom?? Nothing??? It's not right... Not fair to me!" She yelled at me.

"I was going to.. Just-"

"LIES! Lies! Lies! Lies Lies Lies LIIEEESS!" She said, swinging back her hand. My eyes widen but I refused to move. I knew what was coming so I took her hard smack of the hand on my cheek. I blinked and felt it and sadly looked down at her.

She gasped after she realized what she did, to me, this wasn’t that big because I’ve been hit many times. besides, it was hard enough to leave a sting but it wasn’t meant to hurt me to badly. "I'm... I'm soo sorry Lux-kun.. I .. Just can't do it anymore. I wish I could just forget. Forget my feelings for you,” She cried falling to her knees. Why is she saying this? "And That's just what I'm going to do..." She whispered.

"Huh? Estelle what do you mean by that?? Estelle??" That last statement of hers made me uneasy and worried. Estelle had totally changed and not for the better but for the worse. Why couldn’t she just let me talk to her? I would never lie to someone I cared about.

But what I was witnessing now was even more dreadful then anything I have ever seen. A lavender and violet glow came to her pointer and middle finger. She held them to her temple as if it was a gun. She continued crying, was she going to kill her self? I went to her, but it was too late.

"Gomennasai.. Lux-kun." She 'pulled the trigger' and fell down. Her eyes were going blank and I rushed to her picking her up in my arms.

“Estelle! ESTELLE! ESTELLE!!! What did you do Estelle?” I was panicking. This couldn’t be happening. “Oh my god, what was that? Estelle….don’t leave me…”

My ears twitched as I heard her slightly breathing. Carefully I lifted her up bridal style and carried her back to my room. I didn’t want anyone to see me because, well, if they knew me well enough I wouldn’t want them to get any ideas because that was the last thing on my mind. I gently laid her down on the bed and got a washcloth from the bathroom and washed away all the sweat and waited for her to awake.

-15 minutes later-

I sat next to her thinking about everything she had said to me. Suddenly out of the corner of my eyes I saw her eyes began to flutter open as she awoke. She sat up a bit curious and I was unsure what to do at this point. It looked like she was okay.

"Hmmm? Lux? Why am I in your room, on your bed??" She asked looking at me.

"Estelle! Do you know who I am?? Well? Are you okay? Hmm??" I panicked.

"I just called you 'Lux' didn't I silly? And I'm fine, well rested. Except I have this major headache. Thank you for taking care of me. I must of been clumsy again or something. " That’s such a relief to hear that. I couldn’t retain myself from those blissful words so I hugged her, however, she quickly pushed me away with full force. This was something she never did before.

"Wooah, there! Not to be rude but what in Sam's Hell are you doing, Lux?? I'm fine! ... Your acting weird." Estelle said looking at me strangely.

I’m acting weird she says? She is the one acting strange. "Estelle what do you mean?? Don't you know I care for you?!" My tail wagged as I tried to muster out what was going on. This was so confusing and my heart was definitely not keeping a normal heartbeat.

"... Whaaaaat?? Was that just a confession?? Hmmm. Look Lux your a great guy and everything but... You have Miss Hoom, correct? And besides, I just don't feel the same way at all." She answered.

I felt my heart drop and everything inside me broke. I don’t get it, why are you saying this to me. You realize it hurts me. “That’s not funny Estelle.” I gave a fake chuckle.

“I’m not being funny Lux-kun, it’s the truth. You know well enough that I love Reo.” She smiled as she sat on my bed.

The truth…Reo? There was a long silence.

My heart was shattered into many tiny pieces and I could feel the sharp pain of needles in my chest. There was even the sudden urge to throw up. I couldn’t believe what she was saying to me. Wait a second…it hit me all at once. “I see…”

“You see?” She asked.

I kept quit for a second but I needed to know. “Estelle…do you remember how we first met?” I sat there at the side of the bed resting my arms on my one knee that was at a 90-degree angle.

She put her index finger to her lips and thought for a moment. “Yeah I do, it was at the contests and I came up to you and played with your tail and made sure you were a real gijinka unlike those fake humans. You really were powerful and fun to watch at those contests.”

I didn’t say anything, I was choked up. She went that far to do that to me. “That’s not how we met at all Estelle…obviously, you don’t remember.” Estelle really went that far when she pulled that fake trigger. It made sense now, since she was a psychic type she could very well manipulate her memories thus erasing them. How cold…”We met when we were children and I saved you from a group of Machokes, but I guess you don’t remember that do you Estelle?” Anger was picking up in my voice as I stood up.

“That’s a funny story and all but I don’t recall that. Sorry!” She giggled.

Luxray are extremely vicious and predatorial, although when tamed and trained correctly they can become very loyal and faithful, protecting their Trainer from danger. Abusing a Luxray can cause it to become antagonistic and vengeful towards their Trainer. Luxray need a lot of compassion and praise to maintain their satisfaction, as they are proud creatures.

That is my nature, that is what I grew up knowing and I can’t help it. What bothered me more was she was doing exactly what was not supposed to be done to my species. She was abusing my feeling and these antagonistic thoughts were coming into my head one by one. I needed that compassion, however, it appeared that it was already gone. I think I am going to lose it.

“Is this really funny to you? Am I joke Estelle? Because standing in front of you I certainly feel like one.” She sat on the bed and only watched me as I clenched my fist. “Of course it’s funny, because you decided to erase memories…precious memories of our feelings for each other, precious memories about our past together, and memories I hold dear and you….you can’t even recall them.” I was looking down because everything was building inside me.

“I’m sorry Lux, but I don’t remember anything. You shouldn’t make up such lies. I love Reo, not you. Besides I have always been with Lupe my entire life. If we were together, why did you abandon me huh?”

“Lies? They aren’t lies, damn it! Argh!” It was pointless to argue with her, she wasn’t going to remember anything. She wouldn’t remember the 2 years together we had with the other, how I evolved to protect her as Team Galactic tried to kidnap her, but instead I was the one taken away. She wasn’t going to remember how she saved me from the darkness after that battle when I lost control and gave me my scare on my eye, she wasn’t going to remember when we danced and our kiss at the ball, the memories of us in the other world and how I told her I cared about her, all those memories, every single one of them…gone with the pull of a trigger.

I was biting my lip at this point. I couldn’t believe she did this. She didn’t even listen to me...

“Lux-kun? Are you alright?” She asked nervously.

“You’re….” I panted….she was cold enough to do this to me, I guess I need to be honest with her now. I won’t hold back, I am done pretending to be someone I wasn’t. If she did this, it’s about time I just be me and tell her what’s on my mind. I’ll swallow my pride. “You’re so childish!”

“What? What did I do?”

I looked up at her, no more, no more nice guy. I was angry. “It’s what YOU did. Honestly, Estelle you may have the body of a young woman but you still have the mind of a child. Of course you can’t comprehend what I am saying since, well, you erased your own memories because you were such a child. A child when caught in a situation will do anything to get out of it and if they are scared they’ll lie. You are doing the same thing, however, it’s all unconsciously since you decided to go to the extreme measures to erase your own memory of us.”

“But..” She said as she reached out at me.

“NO! Just listen Estelle….” I slammed my fist on my dresser nearly breaking it into two pieces. “You see, I honestly cared about you. I wanted to tell you that I love you with all my heart and soul. You were the best thing to ever happen to me…” My own waterworks were beginning to fall down my face. “I would do anything for you. You were my first love Estelle…”

She didn’t say anything but she was shocked. She was about to say something but I continued…I didn’t want to hear any excuses from her.

“And my first love broke my heart for the first time..” I lifted my hand to my face and held my hair and brushed it backwards as I continued to cry. “You never even gave me a chance to tell you that I wanted to love you, but only as friends, I wanted you to know that I would love you no matter what and be that best friend for you. But…you…you’re so selfish! So damn SELFISH!”

“Lux-kun, I don’t know what to say.”

“Of course you don’t. Your blasted reminiscences are gone, vanished. I already elaborated that to you. It’s ironic though. Someone such as yourself would do something so egotistical like this, when you are always the type of person who gives to others. It’s poignant really.” I whipped my tears and glared at her. “But I guess, we are all self centered one point or another in our lives, and you Estelle did the worse just now. That must be your true nature, you’re unsightly side.”

“Lux-kun why are you talking like that. You never talk like that!” She began to cry as she sat on my bed and I walked to the end of the bed. “Those words, you never talk like that! NEVER! Why?”

“Does it scare you Estelle? Do I alarm you Estelle? Since you were done with my memories, I don’t feel the incentive to continue to be someone I’m not since you decided you weren’t going to except me for who I was...” I growled as I placed both hands at the end of the bed and leaned towards her. At this point my eyes were so cold and I could careless anymore. I was going to make my point made. She destroyed everything in an instant.

“Lux..” I pushed her over and sat above her and I grabbed her hand and placed it towards my heart as her nails faced my chest. She looked terrified as I was in power on top of her. I wasn’t planning on letting her go so easily.

“Do it Estelle. I know you can sharpen your claws.” I growled looking down at her with cold eyes. “Sharpen those claws and pierce my heart. Why don’t you finish the job? You’re doing a fine job already. Do It!”

“No no no NO!” She cried as she tried to break free but I only tightened my grip more.

“KILL ME ESTELLE! Because you pretty much have already done that. Why not finish the job! All you have to do is show those claws and dig them into my chest before I kill you.” She closed her eyes and shook her head side to side quickly. “So you have the gull to break a heart but can’t even finish your own work, how pathetic.” I pushed her backwards and got off of her. “You gave me nothing, now it's all I got.”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Lux-kun. I have no idea what you are talking about. Please just stop.” She sniffled as she grabbed my blanket and she blew her nose into it.

I shook my head at her and laughed at her. “You look so dumb right now, trying to apologize. Please just cut it out.” These tears, they weren’t real, what I was seeing was the aftermath of her memories being taken away. They meant nothing to me, and as my father once told me ‘The truth hurts sometimes.’ He surely wasn’t kidding. “Estelle, don’t tell me you’re sorry because you’re not because you’re only sorry that you are caught in this mess.”


“Enough!” I grabbed my head and leaned over as I stumbled backwards. I began coughing up my own mucous. Sweat was beginning to happen. I turned to look at my arm at those damn tattoos began to appear. “You’ve done enough damage already Estelle. I can’t believe you would…ack….argghhhh….hurt me so much.” I fell to one knee as I held my head tighter. I can’t hold back these tears, it hurts so much. “Estelle look at me, have you ever seen me this way? I’ve been fumbling for words through the tears and the hurt and the pain. I’m going to lay it all out on the line tonight Estelle. I think it’s time to tell this uphill fight…goodbye.”

“I don’t understand any of this. I don’t! Why are you saying such mean things to me? Please Lux we can still be friends. Please I just want to see you smile and be carefree like you once were.”

Forcing my self up I turned to her. Her eyes grew big as scared as she saw what was different. I know what I look like now. Covered with tattoos, my eyes pitch black, and bearing my fangs, I could certainly kill her on the spot. “It’s too late Estelle, I can’t believe that everything I did for you like protecting this place and you and this is the thanks I get. “ I began to yell now as I pointed to me face. “Now I have to look in the mirror and have this constant reminder of how you gave me this scare and you don’t even remember us. That stings like a Beedrill! It really pisses me off Estelle!”

“You don’t need to yell at me.” She got up and walked over to me and grabbed my hands looking at me. “I know this darkness in your heart is hurting you. Let me help you. There is no need to be upset, I can fix it”

“And why should I let you help me when you are the cause this? I have a RIGHT to be upset! As for fixing it, I am already inconsolable so DON’T TOUCH ME!” I grabbed her arm and tossed her on the bed and leaned against the doorframe. “How could you be so cold as the winter wind breeze? I mean after everything, after all the things that we have been through, after all the things we got into. Don’t you see what you have done, you are bringing out a side of me that I don’t know. How could you be so heartless Estelle? HOW? TELL ME!”

“I…I…” Her damn tears and her whimpering began again.

“SHUT UP! Just shut up! I can’t believe I even loved you and cared about you. “I won’t give you the chance to speak because you NEVER gave me mine. I don’t want to here these excuses from you. What hurts most is that we were once so very close! Now that’s all gone!!! Hehehe…” I was losing it, “I’m all out of love…”

Everything I felt was gone, my heart was broken. It didn’t matter anymore and there was no way to fix it. There was a long silence before either spoke.

“Lux-kun…I’m sorry” There were the sorrys that meant nothing to me.

“Stop it…stop calling me Lux-kun.” I crossed my arms in front of my chest and stared at her coldly. “I only let my friends call me that…”

“But Lux! “ She yelled as she tried crawling off the bed.

“Don’t come any closer Estelle. If you do, I will hurt you.” I lowered my arms and began to clap. “How about around of applause huh folks? A standing ovation? You put on quite a show really had me going. That was quite a show and very entertaining. Go on Estelle, go take a bow.“

“Stop mocking me Lux, you’re being so cruel I hate it. I don’t understand this please. I don’t remember erasing my memories and I don’t have any idea about any of this. “

“You’re the one who is cruel. I think this curtain is finally closing now Estelle. You know, I do wish you the best with Reo. He certainly is what you need and I hope he provides for you the way I never got the chance. I want to thank you for all that wasted time we had.” I twisted my wrist upwards as electricity began to slightly form around it. “It really is sad because pain makes you stronger and helps you grow up, but you, you decided to avoid it and get rid of your pain. You’re so foolish Estelle. It’s too bad that I have to live with this pain in my heart that is now broken, but at least my words have gotten to you…and now it’s time to say good bye…thunder shock…”

“LUX!!!” She screamed as I filled the room with electricity.

I quickly bolted through the hallway, that thunder shock was not made to hurt her nor was it going to touch her. I only did it as a distraction so I could leave her behind without her following me. It gave me enough lead way to roam through the hallways of the mansion as I struggled with the tattoos on my body.

I stumbled and knocked many items over as I went through the halls, a bit of blood was dripping from my mouth from biting my lips and more then likely from coughing so much, this disease I have isn’t very suitable for me since I liked looking nice. “Looking nice?” I came to a mirror and stared at myself. “Yeah this isn’t even you Lux. Ever since you were a kid people made fun of you…”

I always thought if I changed my image that I would fit in more. I did just that, I got rid of my glasses, wore clothes that were more in style, and brushed my hair up and kept it spiky. Women flocked to me whom I never really loved and thus I used them for their money and to improve my looks, just like others did to me. What goes around comes around. It wasn’t hard doing that with my intellect, besides, who would feel affection for a guy who was considered to be a nerd in school and made fun of for it? If you were intellectually smart, you needed to secrete it from everyone so they couldn’t condemn you for it since no one liked that type of individual. But why was it all biting me in the ass?

I was reaching for a door handle to keep my balance but as I did so the door opened up and I fell backwards unto the floor. After some groans and some grunts I looked up to see Shupple staring down at me. My heart began to panic, this was the first time she really saw me like this and here I was lying on her floor in her bedroom.

“Oh my gosh Lux, are you okay?” Shupple asked as she kneeled down beside me and gently touched my forehead. But as she did that, a black spark shocked her and she flinched from the pain.

I won’t let this hurt her. She did nothing to me, regardless of how much pain I was in with what happened I needed to leave as soon as possible. I kicked my feet forward and stood up. “Sorry Shupple, I need to go….”

But I felt her grip on my wrist, which was followed by a quite embrace from behind. She wasn’t touching my skin so there was no way she could be shocked again. I couldn't help but pause. She didn’t say anything but I cried again, this feeling of being embraced, was it real? Or was it fake? “Shupple? Please let go, I don’t want to be hurt again and I don’t want to hurt you.”

Her gripped slightly loosened, “Who hurt you?” That’s when I broke away and ran as fast as I could from her.

Where these others here at the mansion my friends or were they only acquaintances? It was just like that time in middle school when I was a child.


“Hey what are you studying Lux?” Asked a female Shinx in the middle school classroom. She leaned over to look at my homework.

“Oh, umm it’s 8th grade math.” I explained as I showed her the questions.

“But we’re in 3rd grade? Why are you doing such hard work?” She asked as she sat back down in her seat. “Can you help me do my work?

“Sure I would love too Mindy!” I told her.

She certainly wasn’t the smartest student but she was easy to teach and once she understood how to do it, it became easy for her. We even hung out together and I taught her many things about science and health and she listened to me.

“Hey guys! We’re gonna play some dodge ball. Time to pick teams.” Xio yelled waving his hands up and down. This was my least favorite game because you know who was always the last to be picked. “Alright I’ll be a captain and hmm….Mindy how about you be a captain as well.”

Could this be just my luck that I would be picked? Xio picked first and then it was Mindy. She picked another boy, okay that’s fine next time. The picking continued and it was the between two kids, myself and another boy and Mindy’s turn to pick. I knew in my heart she was saving the best for last.

“Okay, I pick…Ricky.” Mindy said as she pointed to him.

“Wait Mindy what about me? I helped you with your homework and spent time with you. We studied together. Why didn’t you pick me?” I questioned as I stood there as both teams were finalized.

“Sorry Lux, but you’re too weak for dodge ball and besides, I only used you to get better grades in school. You’re not cool enough to play with us. You’re a loser four eyes.” She said as everyone including herself began to laugh at me.

A ball hit me on the side of the head knocking my glasses off. I felt the ground for them and looked up at Xio smiling down at me. “What’s the matter nerd? You going to cry home to your mommy?”

“No…” I sniffed…I certainly wanted too. I couldn’t believe I was so naïve to think she liked me and wanted to be my friend. Her only purpose was to get better grades.

“Hey everyone come on lets get him!” Screamed Xio as numerous balls were thrown at me.

This was the typical day for me, but not once did I ever get the chance to have a friend. I had been hurt so many times before as a child by these kids…

“LUX IS A NERD LUX IS A NERD LUX IS A NERD AND NO BODY LIKES HIM!” Chanted Xio and Mindy with so many other Shinxs’. I hated it. Maybe this was why I resented them so much, not once was I given the opportunity to have a true friend. Not once did someone thank me for being kind to them because I accepted them for who they were, but I was never so lucky. I became a loner and did things for myself.

Friendship? It never existed for me…

-End Flashback-

No, they certainly weren’t my friends. I can’t be naïve enough to think they were because of what I experienced as a child. I thought they were my friends and yet they handed me over to Team Galactic who beat me half to death. Who knows what would happen here. All I knew is I needed to leave and this time there was no one here to stop me. Lupe made it very clear she hated me and I hated her, and because of that, I knew she could give a rat’s ass about me staying there.

As I was running and passed a four way in the mansion I felt someone grab me around my collar and push me into the wall. I guess my head was in the clouds because I certainly did not see it coming but then again, he wasn’t as weak as he pretended to be either.. “Gil..”

“What the hell happened to you Lux?” He questioned as he held me against the wall and looked me up and down. “I’ve never seen this before. Care to explain?”

“It’s a Poke virus. I was injected with it to enhance my powers awhile back. That’s all it is. Now Gil,” I put my hand on his that was holding my collar. “Could you please let go?” I asked nicely.

“No, because you are a mess right now and I want to know what’s going on. These tattoos, your eyes are swollen from crying, and I can feel you are tense. Tell me what happened.” He insisted, but why should I tell this dolt how I felt.

I was getting rather irritated now. “It’s really none of your concern Gil. I am not obliged to tell you anything.” I growled grabbing his wrist tighter as I shared a bit of electricity with him. “Don’t push me that far because you walking a tight rope as we speak.”

“Lux, you’re my friend and I insist you tell me what is going on. “ He said coldly as he as well shared some ice with me. We were both glaring the other down.

I began to laugh. “Friend you say? You are not my friend. You and everyone in this place mean nothing to me. Friends are people who care about you. Gil you are just being nosey and I don’t plan to tell you anything because the last thing I need is another heartbreak.”

To my surprise I got a large fist to the face as I was sent flying to the floor from a punch from Gil. Geez, I am doing great today. Two blows to the face, being hurt by two women, my day fucking sucks!!!

“I can’t believe you would even say that to me Lux.” Gil growled as he clenched his fist at me. “We are friends because I certainly wouldn’t ask you what’s wrong if I didn’t care, and I certainly wouldn’t let you tease me the way you did if I didn’t think you were cool. Lux, that’s just childish!”

I stood up and cracked my neck. “Childish? You should go ask Estelle about being childish. She’s done a very good job at that.”

“Is that what this is about?” Gil asked, but he shouldn’t have let his guard down.

“THUNDER BOLT!” I sent huge amounts of electricity through the halls. Gil screamed at the blast and once again I was off.

As I ran through the mansion I heard him following from behind. “GET BACK HERE LUX! BLIZZARD!!!” The halls were freezing up but I would then change direction through another hall way, I then hid behind a dresser as he came to the hallway trying to decided which was to go. “Ice beam…” He was pointing his finger in my direction and I quickly used a volt tackle on him. He lay there for a second and I jumped up to dodge another ice beam, as the mansion hallways were becoming a freezer. I gave him a front jab to his chest and he gave me an upper cut. Turning a circle in the air and jumping off the ceiling I tried kicking him. But to my dismay, he caught my leg and threw me to the ground. He was about to use another attack on me and I swung my foot around tripping him causing his attack to destroy part of the hallway. I got up and began to run again as he continued to try and stop me as I kept dodging. As I used a thunderbolt which he was hit by, but I realized at the last second from that cocky bastards smile, he allowed himself to get hit since I felt the ice form around my leg.

He stood up a bit beaten from my attacks. “I don’t want to fight you Lux. Let’s just talk…”

There was nothing to talk about. I lifted my face to look to him and showed him the attack that I was about to do…I whispered, “Hyper-beam.”

“SHIT!” He ran to take cover as the blast destroyed the hallway and opened a new pathway to the outside. With that said, I broke the ice around my leg and went off down the stairs. I was getting closer to the door, but I was still leaving behind a trail of blood.

Gil was powerful, and I knew that from the day I met him. He’d be back on my trail soon enough. That’s when I saw it, the door. Instead of taking the stairs I jumped off the railing. That was rather stupid of me because I should have looked where I was going because as I fell I noticed that I hit someone else on the way down and was lying on top of him. Lucky for me I barely miss a bunch of ice shards that were directed at me.

“Ouch ouch ouch!!!” Moaned Abbie. Crap I was sitting on that damn Absol. I rolled off and looked at him. “ DAMN IT WHAT’S THE BIG IDEA! WATCH WHERE YOU’RE…” That’s when he noticed me and this monstrous look I had, “…going? What the hell? Lux is that you?”

More ice shards came at me and I pushed him back and got up. “No time to explain. Gotta run now Abs!” I turned to the door, damn, that bastard Gil used that attack to freeze the door shut. He was already at the top of the steps and running down. “Later..” I took off again.

This little game of cat and mouse was getting old. Not only was Gil following me but Abbie had accompanied him now as I dodged their attacks of ice and dark. Ice shards here, a dark pulse there, and it certainly was not an easy task but using my own electricity I blocked them. I tried to stay away from as many gijinkas as possible but trying to escape seemed inedible.

Running past the kitchen someone walked out at the last second as I pushed the sandwich into his face and I fell against the wall. It was Hiro, damn it why were all these fools getting in my way. He turned to me and I grabbed him as Gil and Abbie approached and tossed him at them. This would hold them up for a little bit. Crap, this was annoying to run away from 3 guys like this.

As I approached another turned I came to a complete stop and froze. It was her, she stared at me with those beautiful eyes, and black hair…Hoom. Before her stood that monster from before that almost killed her, I saw her shiver and she was accompanied by Hon whom was just as shocked to see me this way. I couldn’t say anything to her but even if it was only one second, it felt like one hundred years. I knew she wanted to say something, but I couldn’t let her. I bit my lip and lowered my head and jumped through the window nearby with my arms in front of my face.

Hon ran to hold Hoom and protect her from the glass that flew everywhere. In my case, well I was bleeding even worse then before. Gil, Hiro, and Abbie had reached the window and I turned to them as they saw me. “THUNDER!” I aimed it at the window. My choice was clear. I did not want to be followed even if I had to kill them.

I ran through that forest jumping over any trees destroying any branches in my way. At this point I was already huffing and puffing. I wanted nothing more to do with those people at the mansion, nothing. I didn’t want to ever feel my heart break. Why do we even bother with love if it never lasts? It makes no sense to me. I was such a fool to believe I could love her when I loved Hoom as well.

I stopped and looked at that blue sky. There were no clouds in the sky and the sun was beaming brightly. What would happen to Hoom? Estelle broke my heart when she did that because I will have to live with the pain of knowing she did that to herself. But Hoom, she still has Hon and the others. Estelle was the closest person to family for me. I don’t count Xio at all. Hoom could find someone else, she had the looks and the personality that I was attracted too so she was better off without me. I didn’t want to burden her either, what would she say to me if I told her the truth. I can’t any handle any more heart ache.

Walking seemed to be alright, I felt no presence of being followed so I took my time. The blood was still dripping on the ground from my entire body. The glass really did a number on me. The tattoos were still burning but I was in control, some of the wild gijinkas who lived in the forest once they saw me, they ran off. I was holding my left arm, the previous day it was broken and forcing it back into place wasn’t making me feel better, even from being choked from Xio last night was hurting. But then again, I kept coming back to Estelle and thinking about her. Could I have done something different? I doubt it, I needed to tell her how I felt even if I was cold. I know she won’t forgive me, but I had to man up. I won’t be a push over again.

Overhead, the sounds from of the Wingulls were in the air. The smell of salt reached my nose and I stood by the cliff edge and looked at the huge ocean before me. I guess I got here sooner then expected. I sat down at the edge and took my shirt off which was bloody and ripped up and let it go into the air. The shirt was taken away into the wind and drifted back into the forest, I could careless what happened to it.

I slowly ran my finger on top of my shoulder and the top of my back and looked at my back. So scarred, over 200 marks that never healed. So hideous, this wasn’t attractive at all. I turned to watch the waves of the ocean. I brought up my hands up together as I rested my forehead on it as I sat on the edge as my feet dangled.

I began to cry again, I shouldn’t but it couldn’t be helped. No one was around and letting it out was better then keeping it in. Before I knew I was singing to myself,

“I've been sitting here
Can't get you off my mind
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong
I've drove myself insane
Wishing I could touch your face
But the truth remains..

You're gone..
You're gone..
Baby you're gone
Girl you're gone, baby girl, you're gone..
You're gone…

I whipped the tears and stood up as the breeze picked up. “What is the point? Huh? Was it only just a dream? HUH? Is this what you wanted God?” I screamed into the nothingness. “This is just not right. I am always the one getting hurt and I just contain it within me... So why? Whatever it doesn’t matter anymore and now it’s obvious who the real bitch is. I HOPE YOU FUCKING HAPPY ESTELLE!!!”

If she erased all our memories of our childhood, our love for each other, and all the good times we had then I guess I should stay a memory then. It was only right since there was nothing between us anymore. A memory, yes that sounds nice. Estelle, don’t resent me, just keep me in your memory.

There was only one thing left too do. I undid my collar on my neck and dropped it to the ground and stretched my arms. I placed my right hand over my heart and looked at the sun shimmering on the ocean. “Wow it’s so beautiful. I guess it’s about time I join you. Ironic, I was planning to use this on Xio someday.”

As an electric type, I am pretty much immune to taking other electrical attacks. For my sake, I absorb them and use the power against my enemies or for healing purposes, however, if knowledgeable there is a way to use it against yourself that much I knew. It was like a defibrillator, which is an instrument used for life-threatening cardiac arrhythmias, ventricular fibrillation and pulse less ventricular tachycardia which is delivers a therapeutic dose of electrical energy to the affected heart. I must have read this hundreds of times when I was a child, my mother took a fancy to helping others and healing others. I possibly could do the same, like the instance that I did with Shupple. In this case, I was going to revert it on myself on my own heart sending an electrical shock too it, not to start it up, but…to stop it.

It was simple really, all I needed to do was to send the electricity to the parts of the heart and slowly shut them down. This way, the heart could never be resuscitated thus my reasoning to use it on Xio. “Mom….Dad….everyone…I have grown up now…so forgive me…I don’t fear death anymore…I’ll be joining your shortly…”

I sighed and began. My right hand over my heart I sent the small amounts of electricity to my Aorta, I sent the electricity as it began to burn the vein which lead to it being destroyed, at that moment I felt blood come up from my throat as I began gagging on it…destroying the Aorta began to block the blood from leaving my heart which began to make my valves pump harder. I kept my stance as I continued the process, next I sent the electricity to my left ventricle and left atrium. They too were shutting down and I became dizzy and fell to a knee. “Shit…gagg…cough cough…” I was throwing up my own blood all over the ground. I panted and continued to the right side. That’s went my Superior vena cava collapsed. I let out a scream, it was painful but it felt like nothing compared to what Estelle did. “See Estelle..” I spat as more blood dripped from my mouth as I stumbled to get up. “This is all for you…..all…of it…”

My vision was blurred and I could barely make anything out. Once more, I had to fulfill my mission. I sent my electricity into my veins, arteries, and the smallest capillaries in my body to shut off any other organs. Little by little I could feel it, but it continued my symptoms got worse. Holding my head in my hands, I felt my lymph nodes turning off, some organs beginning to fail, and my legs were the first to become numb. My hearing was going too and now my sight was gone. All I saw was shadows. The pain was ceasing to exist now and I was happy as my lower back and hips became numb.

“There I finished it…” The venom of electricity was killing everything in my body. My heart was beating uncontrollably fast, my hands were shaking like I was having a seizure. “I did it, I guess all that’s left is for me to rid my body and disappear into the body of the ocean….” Again I bent over and cough off more blood, but slowly smelt the air one last time as my sense of smell left me. It was time to leave this wretched world.

I’ve always tried to be the opposite of what I was a child. I’m strong on the surface, I’ve never been perfect, and I’m not a cool as I thought I was.

Suddenly, I heard a scream coming from behind me. It was the last thing I heard since at that same moment my hearing went. I slowly turned in that direction but couldn’t make it out. It was just a shadow after all, and shadows have no meaning.

I smiled as blood dripped from the corner of my mouth and I cried from the happiness. The tattoos were probably still there but it was lights out for me. I felt nothing anymore. It was time. “It’s too late for me…sorry!” I turned and jumped right off the cliff into the ocean. As I fell, my body was completely numb. SPLASH!

I sunk down, water was entering my lung and yet, I couldn’t feel the cold water. My pupils turned white as I saw the light in the water begin to fade. It was quit, nothing to hurt me, nothing to feel anymore, nothing. In this ocean, it was too deep and to wide to find a body so I could disappear into it and remain just a memory. Blood floated past me as my heart exploded inside my chest and my brain functions were turning off, the last part of my brain was the memories.

10...I heard laughing and saw my parents. 9..I wanted that again, 8...a family. 7..I knew with them I would never be alone, 6...never be hurt, 5...I would always be loved,4... and that I would be accepted for myself. 3..I reached out to them and grabbed my parent’s hands. 2..Thank you..1...Good bye.....


*cries* I am so sorry everyone. But since Estelle took extreme measure likes that, it was the only thing that Lux could do since he remembers his past because he was used like that. It also gives you a little insight to how cruel Xio really was too. Since Estelle and Lupe did not only hurt him, it was only choice thus it was done. I find this rather depressing and I am sorry but Lux did die at the end of the post…T^T

There is ONLY one person allowed to follow up on this and they know who they are. I won’t say who…anyway I hope you enjoyed it. *cries more*

Comments are appreciated! ;A;