Always something
Never nothing.
To this day...
I never know why I can't help a friend from falling.
I can't help them from giving up.
I can't help them see I'm hurting for them.
I want to help them.
They help me.
I was saved from me by them.
I was in darkness because of things said and done to me.
I know the pain I felt.
I know the crap I had to take.
I was there to help you....I always am here to help you....
You won't listen to me.
I want to hurt you but I can't...
Thats not me.
I want to yell at you
but I care to much...
My caring holds me back from doing anything to harm you.
I know...the limits of helping someone.
I know its hold out your hand...
And if they reach for it ok...
If not...what more can you do.
I hate that...the fact if they don't accept the help...the fact they are hurting and won't let help come to them even when it staring them in the face....
I hate it. I hate it. I hate it with a passion.
I can't hate you.
I can't hurt you.
If I do hurt you I always apologize..not in a day... no right on the spot.... seconds later and I am already apologizing for what I done to hurt you.
I'm to caring and it leads me to always falling.
I care to the point... I fall hurt.... sick or worse just to see that you forgive me. To know that you don't hate me....
Pathetic ?
I think so.
Hell I myself pathetic for not being able to get it through my head 'you can help all you want but you still can't help them to the point they actually make it out their situation happy and unharmed'
Maybe I should care... but not give a hand... or care... and give a hand...knowing they won't take it... and will brush it off like nothing....
Maybe... I am just to caring.
I am just pathetic.
Caring... I can't just ignore you...
Caring... I can't just act like I don't see you hurting...
I am caring... to where... I would die for you.
I fight by you.
Laugh by you.
Cry by you.
But why does it seem it means nothing to certain people.
And to others it does.
Maybe going back to hating and not caring wouldn't be such a bad thing.... but it is... for me....
What am I suppose to do.....
