For one....
Art
My art im trying to improve... for one. Not as planned some i got others well... need some work....
I get it. Pissing me off when I hear someone go over board by cussing me out or something seriously... I know it good to get told where you got to fix but come on cussing me out on it the F**? You want to get beat? *breathes* secondly... i know... im not the best artist. Hell i'll admit some art i do i like and others i say to myself "could of been better"
I know... I hate it... Might as well grab those who cuss me out and smash them into a wall or something... I already had to give up on drawing a few times before... im not about to let that happen again.
People
No no one on here thats a good thing People in the outside ... people i thought to call friends... ha was I wrong....
Oh so wrong.....
A friend wouldn't leave you to deal with something they started... they be by you and ask you to help them and be there for em and stand firm with you and you with them...
Life has people... who would use you...to where when they don't need you.... call you worthless and so much more.
then.. theres the people i do care for most....
the ones i would let myself die for...... some i want to help but yet.... i can't... because what they are dealing with... i am too... you can't help someone if you can't hep yourself...... can't help if that person is not close by...... if that person is falling..... how do you help them if you have no way of contacting them.... it sucks.... it makes me mad.... makes me mad at me..... hate myself.... but for what? Im not even sure myself. I shouldn't i mean i can't do much and you can't do much even if you wanted too....or am i wrong on that?
Am i alright? No m mad as hell.
Im pist off at things..i can just fix.....
Im mad at the fact things i want to do.... i can't because something always stops me and when i get passed it..something else comes along.....
Im pist the F*** off at the fact people won't leave me alone on my damn art.... the way i dress... the way i act.... the way i do things.....
I can't change who i am..... I done that too many damn times....
Be the good person
to being the enemy
to being the one everyone hates
to being someone people look up too
and also the one they look down at
I can't please everyone...
Im tired of pleasing everyone.....
I gave up art before......
I gave up on life more than once......
I gave up on a lot of things... friends..... family...... love...... caring.....
Im tired..... of all of that giving up.....
what am i suppose to do?
Im not trying to not get better at drawing just the opposite im trying what ican to get better...... asking for help from people.... listening to people... hell im using youtube to learn damn it.
Somehow... even that .... seems to get me no where........ Is my art even getting better? Yeah i think so......
But why is it....... Im doubting myself even more.........what the hell... am i suppose to do.
