Yes, friends, there is an entire world of professional wrestling that you are completely unfamiliar with! That's were I, Flint, come in and break up your monotony! Here, I will say stupid things, write silly stories, and basically attempt to entertain you with all things related to the sport of kings. Enjoy!
- Created By Flint
The Texas Rattlesnake
I feel like I'm pandering to the mainstream or something. Last post was about the Rock, this one is about Steve Austin. Oh, well. I like Austin, sue me.
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin was the top name in pro wrestling in the late 90s, and going into the early part of this decade. He's played both face and heel roles at his pinnacle, and he's been spectacular at both. He wrestled his matches using a wild brawling style that,while not being as technically sound as guys like Dean Malenko and Chris Benoit, always made for a great bout. Above all else, any segment he appeared in, be it backstage, on the mic, or in the ring, just turned to gold.
Presented for the benefit of theO, here are a few shot of greatness from "the Bionic Redneck", Steve Austin.
This is a promo hyping the 2002 Royal Rumble. This was done during the height of the "What?" phenomenon Austin ushered in. He makes a shout-out to Whataburger, too. Texas pride!
Austin plays the heel in this promo, being confronted by Taz. It would have been cool to see these two have an actual match. Unfortunately, by this time, Taz had pretty much retired from in-ring action by this point.
After Wrestlemania X7, Austin became a "paranoid rattlesnake", desperately clutching his world title and keeping it around his waist at all cost. During this time, he and Kurt Angle competed in a childish war for the attention of Vince McMahon. These segments are all great, with both men playing the "non-sibling rivalry" role to perfection. Here, Angle tries to calm Vince down with song after Austin has failed to do so.
This is not only one of my personal favorite Austin segments, but one of my favorite segments in all of pro wrestling. More than anything, this epitomizes the North American pro wrestling scene: it's a totally ludicrous, funny trainwreck of a brawl. Between Booker T's constant groaning, Austin's cheesy quips, the insane length of the fight as the grocery store personnel simply watch, and commentary from McMahon and Ric Flair as they watch the whole shebang via Titantron, it's one of the most hilarious things I've seen in wrestling, and it ends in the only way it could end.
I hope you've enjoyed this trip down memory lane with "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. See ya next time!
Going Hollywood
You probably have heard of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, the pro wrestler who made the jump to full-time Hollywood actor a few years ago. If you've seen him onscreen, you know he's a charismatic guy in any role he plays. If you've ever heard the Rock on the mic (and chances are, if you have a television set, you've seen him on the mic once or twice), you know he's damn entertaining. Wrestling fans knew this man as Rocky Maivia before the rest of the world knew him as the Rock, and we knew that, while he was great in the ring, he was unsurpassed on the mic in front of millions (and millions!) of fans.
When the Rock left wrestling for a while to film "The Scorpion King", fans were eagerly awaiting his return. When he came back, however, his entire attitude changed. He was no longer the ass-kicking "people's champion" we knew. He was now an arrogant ass with an enormous ego. While fans were meant to revile this new Rocky, instead they loved him. This was, at least in my opinion, the Rock at his absolute best.
For the benefit of theO, here are great moments in the era of "Hollywood" Rock.
The Rock makes a surprise appearance in Toronto. The fans were ecstatic to see their beloved people's champion return. This was short-lived, however, when the Rock delivered his trademark "Finally..." catchphrase with an interesting twist. He then proceeds to verbally run down the inhabitants of Toronto, as only he can.
During this time, Rocky would embark on a memorable feud with the Hurricane, of all people. The barbs the Rock would hurl at the 'Cane were priceless.
Here, the Great One has a chat with Eric Bischoff. He clearly displays his new prima donna attitude here. And may I add, he plays it to perfection.
The Rock would clash with Steve Austin for the last time at Wrestlemania, but before that, he held what was dubbed "the Rock Concert". This was absolutely classic. They did it one more time after this, but it didn't have the same feel.
Well, I hope you've enjoyed this viewing of the Rock's "Hollywood" era. It was a lot of fun to bring it to you!
-Flint
You're Sellin' It Wrong!
The majority of professional wrestling fans today pretty much know the pseudo-sport is not on the up-and-up. It ain't "real". Only the most old-school of grapplers and the most hardcore of bumpkins will defend the "realness" of the sport nowadays. It only makes sense when one thinks about it. The average professional wrestler is constantly performing, often several times a week. If that man were REALLY being punched, kicked, bitten, and slammed with the full intent of injury, that man would probably not be performing the next day, let alone the next week, or the week after that! Most of the time, when a wrestling maneuver is performed, wrestlers "sell" the move, or make it look like it hurts more than it often really does.
Anybody can sell a move. If I did the ol' Three Stooges Nose Grab 'n' Slap, you could sell like it actually hurts, when in reality it doesn't. It takes a real artist, however, to oversell. A true genius of the mat can oversell like he was having the very life ripped from his heart and lungs, like his soul was being torn from his chest! For your viewing pleasure, I have compiled a few of my favorite moments of overselling for you. Enjoy!
First up, the master of overselling, Shawn Michaels. This particular instance is a personal favorite of mine, an encounter with Hulk Hogan at Summerslam. The backstory behind this is that Michaels was upset that Hogan was coming in for another "Win, paycheck, and leave" combo, so he took it upon himself to make the Orange Goblin look as foolish in the ring as possible by overselling pretty much anything he did. Gotta love the big boot at the end!
Next, we have the Whole F'N Show, Rob Van Dam. RVD is one of the greatest professional wrestler ever to be underutilized in WWE. He also is the undisputed master of selling DDTs and Piledrivers. Here's a classic example of Van Dam's piledriver-selling skills.
Now, we go to a modern-day master, Randy Orton, and his perfection of taking Shawn Michaels' Sweet Chin Music. Orton takes the Heartbreak Kid's superkick like he's been shot in the face. Take a look, and admire the lifeless look in Orton's eyes as he lays on the ground afterward. Applaud afterward if you feel the need.
Finally, what list of classic oversells would be complete without the Wrestlemania stunner? Stone Cold Steve Austin delivers a Stone Cold Stunner at every Wrestlemania he's in, and you can guarantee that anybody taking the Stunner will of out of his or her way to make it look as ridiculously powerful as they can. The undisputed master of the Wrestlemania Stunner is, of course, the Rock, with his flipping and twisting around the ring like a rag doll. For this list, however, I have chosen Scott Hall's One Giant Leap for Stunner-Selling.
Well, I hope you've enjoyed this day in overselling. If you have any personal favorite moments in overselling, feel free to tell me. I may include them in future posts!
Take it easy, y'all!
-Flint
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