I hate the phrase, people never change. Mainly because, it isn't true. People do change. Maybe not to the degree that is to your liking, but they do. Some people are just so blinded by their dislike that they can't see the truth that has been laid out before them.
Take me for example. I used to be this angry kid. I'll admit I was pretty judgmental of others. I was shy, could never talk to people I didn't know, and I let people push me around. But now, I've done a 180. I have more patience and don't get angry as much. And, when I do, it never lasts. I don't hold grudges like I used to. Now, I stick up for people rather than thinking ugly thoughts about them. I can still be shy at first, but I can talk to people I don't know and go out of my way to introduce myself and start up a conversation. I can find the good in everything around me. I went from a not so happy teen to a pretty optimistic, young woman.
It isn't that people can't change. It's that they won't. They don't want to do it for themselves. Some people take a little push from others to get them going. If they can't change for themselves, sometimes, they'll try to change for others. But, it'll only happen if you support them on that journey. If not, it is very easy to fall back into the pit of despair that they were once in.
It takes time. Months. Sometimes years. It doesn't just happen over night or over the course of a couple days. Changes that require our whole personality to switch takes time. The way of thinking is different, and that'll take months to get down.
So, don't ever call someone a lost cause simply because you don't want to take the time and be there for the transformation.
My freshman year of college is when I blossomed into the new me. It was during this time I met a now-very close friend of mine. He was a little antisocial, and not many people got along with him. I didn't know him very well, but a lot of my other friends talked poorly about him, so I didn't really make any effort to get to know him. During the summer after that, I texted him a lot and really got to know him. Sophomore year hit, and we got to be pretty close, hanging out a lot. It turns out, he was this misunderstood guy. I got to see a whole side to him the others never even knew was there. I tried telling them that during a few sessions of their complaining about him. I stood up for him, but they didn't want to see it. My friend's roommate said something that will forever have me flustered about. He said that my friend was 'A lost cause.'
How is my friend a lost cause when the roommate is the one that won't go the extra mile to get to know him? He won't sit down and listen to him like I did. And now, junior year, my friend has more friends than his ex roommate. He got himself a pretty great girlfriend, and our friendship is better than ever, and I'd like to think that he knows me about as well as anyone could.
He notices things that some of my other close friends don't notice about me. He cares about me more than what I am used to, and I will forever be indebted to him for that. I only hope he thinks of me as great of a friend as I think of him.
The point to this post: No one is a lost cause. There could be a whole new side to someone you never knew. You just have to take the time to see it. People can change. But, you got to help them through it and then stick around long enough to witness it.
