Wilkommen zu deizer verruckten zeit! As the title suggests, this is just a collection of stories I've written. Some will be fan fiction, some will be original stories. I may even include poetry. Please do not take my works and claim them as your own!! I doubt you would want to, but in the event you do, I will not hesitate to call upon the powers of the Karyu to bring ultimate judgement upon you!

Faded Memory

“Sora!” Kairi screamed as she watched the brown-haired boy fade away into the darkness. His hands were cupped around his mouth and she could tell he was shouting something. Unfortunately, his voice had faded completely before his body had begun disappearing. The red-haired girl couldn’t be sure, but she could swear he was shouting, “I love you!” Tears filled her eyes as she stood on the beach of Destiny Islands. “I love you, too, Sora!” she managed to choke out as his body faded completely.

She folded her hands and hung her head, mourning the loss of a love she would never know. Suddenly a small spark fell between her hands. Kairi looked up in surprise to find that tiny stars were falling from the sky to rebuild the features of Destiny Islands. Trees appeared from nowhere. The ocean grew to its full expanse in a few seconds. She felt overwhelmed by joy. Amazed, she watched as the small shack sprung up, followed by the waterfall and the tree house. She then noticed a small dark corner appear, overgrown with roots.

Kairi recognized this dark corner to be the secret cave she’d found with Riku and Sora. She ran to the cave, hoping the boys would be hiding there, waiting for her. Crawling through the overgrown roots, she found her hopes to be futile. However, she didn’t cry. Instead, she looked around. The walls of the cave were covered with childish drawings, each one familiar. Her blue eyes finally came to rest on a particular drawing. It depicted a girl giving the star-shaped paupu fruit to a boy. She recognized the girl as herself and the boy as Sora. But there was something different now. The boy was giving a paupu to the girl as well. Kairi imagined Sora squatting in front of the wall and scratching the new piece of the picture with a rock. He looked back over his shoulder, flashed her a smile, and disappeared. The redheaded girl sank to her knees. She lightly touched the wall and allowed tears to spill over…

Kairi visited the cave every day for a couple of weeks. With each day, she cried less, until the tears no longer came. Then school started. She began only going to the cave on Saturdays. School kept her busy during the week, and she found new friends. Her visits became more infrequent until one day they stopped all together. Her memories of Sora began to fade, one by one. Soon, he only rarely appeared in her dreams, silently shouting something she couldn’t make out. His face began to slowly fade until finally he became a nameless enigma that only visited her mind when she stood on the beach staring into the ocean.

Safe In My Arms

So I have to resort to that jutsu to beat him, Deidara thought. He was locked in a fierce battle with Uchiha Itachi's younger brother, Sasuke. He hated the Uchiha clan. Those eyes, regarding him coldly, showing pure disdain toward his art. "Now I will turn myself into a true work of art, un! I will take you out with my most beautiful piece yet, Uchiha Sasuke! Art is a bang, un!" he yelled.

The blonde ripped off his shirt and began unstitching the mouth on his chest. He then stuffed the mouth with clay. His mind, however, had already left the battlefield...

"Deidara," called a voice. "Huh? Who's calling me? You sound familiar. Do I know you, un?" asked the clay master. "Baka!" taunted the voice. "You've forgotten me so easily? I guess all those explosions killed some of your brain cells." The blonde looked around, but he only saw darkness. "I can't see you, un! Show yourself! Quit playing games with me, un!" Deidara yelled into the darkness.

Suddenly a bright light flashed. The clay artist was momentarily blinded. My body must have exploded, he thought. The familiar voice began to chuckle, quietly at first, then growing louder. At the same time, Deidara's sight slowly returned. He took notice of his surroundings. Everything was white and foggy. He was even wearing a long, white nightgown.

"Okay, voice," Deidara said. "Where am I, un?" A small figure began to appear from the fog. It was dressed in the same type of nightgown, but its hair was shaggy and read. Suddenly, Deidara's face lit up with recognition. "Danna!" he yelled happily, running to the puppet master and grasping him in a tight hug. Sasori returned the hug and said, "You're safe in my arms. And we can stay this way for eternity."

Devil's Advocate

Ahmon and Yang Ping sat outside in the school courtyard. Yang Ping sat atop a picnic table, elbows resting on his knees. Ahmon sat on the bench to Yang Ping’s right, leaning back against the table. It was sunny and the two friends had just finished basketball practice.

“Hey, Yang Ping,” Ahmon said questioningly, “you seemed distracted today during practice.” The blond boy looked over at his dark-haired friend, startled. “Uh…I was just…tired! Yeah, that’s all, I was tired,” he stammered. Ahmon opened his left eye to glance at his friend and cocked his eyebrow. “Tired, eh?” he smirked. He closed his eye again and laced his fingers behind his head. Yang Ping stared down at his feet.

After a few moments of silence, Ahmon said, “You and Li Xiang are two of a kind.” The blond flinched at the mention of his crush’s name and stared at his friend. The dark-haired boy looked up and continued, “You both love, even though the love is not returned. You are both willing to do anything to make the object of your affection happy, regardless of how your actions will affect others.” Yang Ping turned away from Ahmon and bit his lip to stop the tears from spilling over. The truth in Ahmon’s words cut too deeply, though, and the tears fell.

“It’s true,” Yang Ping said between sobs. “I was willing to kill Qi Yue, only to get a smile in return!” He angrily wiped away the tears before turning back to face Ahmon. “I’m so disgusted with myself. I only want Li Xiang to be happy, but…deep down, I want her to be happy with me. Ahmon, teach me the secret to real love!”

Ahmon opened his eyes again and turned to study his friend. He smiled and stated, “My friend, you already know part of the secret! Take that willingness to make her happy and turn it to a willingness to make her happy with you. Pursue her earnestly. Perhaps she will see what a great guy you are.”

Yang Ping looked down at his feet again. “It doesn’t matter what I do. I know Li Xiang will never see me for me. She will only see the Devil’s advocate. I’m not like you, Ahmon. I can’t make someone see me for who I really am.” Ahmon shot his friend a questioning look. “No matter how nasty you acted to Qi Yue, she still saw that there was some good in you.”

“Yes, but I don’t think she would’ve seen it without your help,” Ahmon stated. “You made her see me as more than a devil. Now it’s time for you to take that magic of yours and use it on Li Xiang. Make her see you as more than the Devil’s advocate!” Yang Ping looked up at his friend again. A smile broke out on his tear-streaked face. “You’re right, Ahmon! I can do it! I’m gonna go talk to Li Xiang right now!” He stood up to leave, but Ahmon caught his arm. “Uh, Yang Ping, before you go…you might want to wipe your face a little bit. Li Xiang won’t want to know that the Devil’s advocate is a crybaby,” Ahmon said, running his fingers from the corners of his eyes to his chin and letting his mouth droop into a frown.

Cherished Memory

Hinata sat quietly in the classroom waiting for Iruka-sensei to arrive. Though she stared down at the top of the table, she knew her classmates around her were busy chatting or horsing around. Choji was munching on a bag of chips. Most of the girls, including Sakura and Ino, were standing in a gaggle near Sasuke, who sat quietly brooding. Shino and Kiba were talking and laughing near the back of the room. Shikamaru seemed to be napping.
Suddenly, a familiar voice drifted across the room to Hinata’s ears. She looked up to see Naruto staring at Sasuke. Blushing, the dark-haired girl looked down again and a smile crept onto her face as she recalled her early childhood days…

Five-year-old Hinata walked down the crowded streets of Konohagakure behind her father, the leader of the Hyuga clan. Neji, her cousin, walked beside her, looking over every few minutes to flash a quick smile. He had always been near her as long as she could remember. According to her father, Neji would become her personal guard one day, just as Neji’s father guarded him. Hinata’s father and Neji’s father were twin brothers and Hinata’s father was the leader of the clan only because he was older by a few minutes.

Today, Hinata’s father was going to talk to the Hokage to discuss business that Hinata knew nothing about. She and Neji had, however, begged their fathers to take them along. They did not want to be stuck in the Hyuga house all day. For them, leaving the gates of the Hyuga house was a rare treat, and both children jumped at the chance to walk down the streets of Konohagakure.

“Hey, Hinata,” Neji said, tugging on her sleeve and pointing, “look at that!” Hinata looked in the direction the boy was pointing. Flying above their heads from a vendor’s stand were several brightly-colored fish kites. The shy little girl stared up at the kites in wonder. “Aren’t they pretty, Hinata?” the dark-haired boy asked. “Uhm…y-yes. Th-they are, Neji,” she answered. The kites fluttered and flopped in the slight breeze, making them seem to be alive. Hinata continued to stare in wonder at their many colors. She wanted to touch one, to go running off holding the string tightly as other children gazed up in wonder at her prize.

“Hinata!” Neji called. “Hinata, come on! We’re gonna lose our dads!” Hinata’s head whipped around to look for her cousin, but he was already gone, disappeared into the crowds. Not wanting to be left behind, she ran in the direction the party had been heading. She pushed and darted through the crowds, frantically looking for her cousin and, more importantly, her father.

Up ahead, Hinata thought she saw her father. She ran towards the man and clamped onto his leg tightly. The man looked down as she looked up and Hinata realized the leg she had just hugged did not belong to her father. She let go and began backing away slowly. “Hey, what do you think you’re—Oh,” the man said, staring at the dark-haired girl. “Aren’t you a cute little thing. Hehe.” Hinata didn’t know why, but for some reason, the man’s smile frightened her. “I’d love to take you home with me. I bet you’d be a lot of fun,” the man said, continuing to grin.

“Hey!” a harsh voice called out. “Leave her alone!” Hinata looked in the direction of the voice and found that it’s owner was a blond boy that seemed to be her age. He had blue eyes and a dirty face. “Oh? And just why should I, you mongrel?” the man questioned. “’Cause if ya don’t, I’ll have to beat you up!” the boy challenged. The man laughed harshly and replied, “Ah, whatever. Keep her. She’s not worth the trouble, you mutt.” The man turned back around and waded his way through the crowd.

“Are you okay?” the boy asked. “Um, y-yeah,” Hinata answered quietly. “My name’s Naruto. What’s yours?” he asked. “H-Hinata,” she stammered, beginning to cry. “Aw, hey, don’t do that, Hinata. It’s okay now. That man’s not gonna hurt you. If he does, he’ll be sorry! Believe it!” Naruto said. Hinata sniffled and looked up to find him smiling broadly and giving her a thumbs-up. “I-it’s not the man. I-I’m lost,” she said, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. “Oh,” the blond boy said. “Well, if you want, you can stick with me until we find your parents or someone you know.” He suddenly stopped grinning, noticing Hinata’s eyes.

“Hey, how come your eyes look weird?” he asked. Hinata blushed and looked down at her fingers, twiddling them. “Th-that’s because I’m f-from the Hyuga c-clan,” she replied, her voice nearly inaudible. Naruto studied her more closely. “Ya know,” he said, a grin slowly spreading across his face again, “that man was right about one thing.” Hinata’s face turned deep red as she looked up at the blond boy. “You are cute.” Hinata looked down again and mumbled, “Th-thank y-you, N-Naruto-kun.”

A hand suddenly grabbed Hinata’s shoulder. She quickly turned around to find her father, her uncle, and Neji. “Naruto, hmm? I know who you are, you mutt,” her father said gruffly. “Don’t you even look at my daughter again.” Hinata looked at Naruto, then to Neji, receiving smiles from both. She then looked at her father and said, “Father, Naruto-kun s-saved me. I-I was looking at the fish kites, and then y-you were gone. I started running through th-the crowd and I thought I saw you, so I-I ran t-to you and g-grabbed your leg, o-only it w-wasn’t you. It was a s-stranger and he wanted to hurt m-me, so Naruto-kun saved me.”

The leader of the Hyuga clan looked down at his daughter to find tears in her eyes. “He saved you? Well, that deserves a reward, doesn’t it?” He looked over at the blond boy, who was scowling at him. “I suppose we have time for a bowl of ramen before we meet with the Hokage.” He looked back down at Hinata, smiled, and patted her head…

Hinata’s attention was snapped back to the classroom as she heard Naruto’s name called. She looked up to see the blond boy preparing to make the clone Iruka-sensei had asked of him. The dark-haired girl looked down and began twiddling her fingers. Do your best, N-Naruto-kun! she thought to herself.

The Ninth Commandment

Thou shall not bother Kakuzu whilst he is counting money. This includes, but is not limited to: shouting random numbers, telling Kakuzu that the value of money has dropped one hundred percent, burning said money, scattering said money, ripping said money, asking Kakuzu to reattach body parts, and calling Kakuzu names.

Kakuzu sat at the kitchen table counting his money. He had several account books strewn about the table. Kisame strolled into the kitchen, unnoticed by the dark-haired man. The shark-man could faintly hear Kakuzu counting. “$3,289…$3,290...Oh! A $5! That’s $3,295! $3,296…” Kisame grinned an unfriendly grin and began counting aloud himself. “$200…$209…$213…”

Suddenly, Kakuzu slammed the money down and turned to Kisame. “You made me lose count, you overgrown guppy!” he shouted. Itachi strolled in, having heard the commotion. “What’s going on?” he asked, staring down the refrigerator. Kisame answered, “Kakuzu is counting money.” Itachi turned and walked over to the toaster. He petted it and said, “Poor Kakuzu, when will you learn? Money is weak. It lacks…hatred…” He turned and walked toward the door, grabbing Kisame as he went. “Crunchy, let’s go. I have to meet with Leader,” he said, leaving Kakuzu with a vein popping out on his forehead and his left eye twitching.

At that moment, Hidan walked into the kitchen, grinning like a madman. “Hey, Kakuzu, guess what I heard this morning on the news?” he said, picking up a crisp $20 and taking out a lighter. “The value of money dropped by one hundred percent.” He drew out the last three words slowly and began to set fire to the $20 in his hand. Kakuzu jumped up and leapt at his partner, yelling, “No!! You fool!! What do you think you’re doing?!” Unfortunately for the green-eyed man, the Jashinist snatched the burning $20 out of his reach. As the last of the $20 burned before Kakuzu’s eyes, Hidan let it flutter to the floor and walked away, laughing maniacally.

Just then, Tobi came tearing through the kitchen, screaming, “NO, ZETSU-SAN!!! DO NOT EAT TOBI!!!” Zetsu followed close behind, his black half saying, “Feed me!” and his white half calling, “Come back, Tobi!” As they ran through the kitchen, money fluttered everywhere. Some even happened to flutter under the Akatsuki members’ feet, ripping as they ran on. Tears began to flow from Kakuzu’s face.

Deidara crept into the room slowly, his face blushing so much that it matched the color of the clouds on his cloak. “H-hey, Kakuzu, un? Would you mind…ah…sewing something back on for me, un?” he asked, voice shaking. Kakuzu glared at the blonde, sending shivers down his spine. He began to whimper, then suddenly ran from the room, crying hysterically.

A moment later, Sasori came into the kitchen. “Hey, you Jewish Muslim, why won’t you sew Deidara back together? He’s in our room, crying hysterically! How am I supposed to get any sleep with all that racket, you heartless swamp doll?!” It was the last straw. Kakuzu snapped. Suddenly, Sasori felt as though he should have made a better choice in words…

A few hours later, Pein came home to find the base once again in shambles. The other Akatsuki members (minus Kakuzu) were outside, some shaking, others cursing. Itachi was wandering around mumbling something about lacking hatred and randomly tripping over fallen branches. Pein ignored them all and crossed the remains of the threshold of the base. The horror he found inside rendered him speechless…