Be forewarned...this is SPAZ.
Just something I deliriously wrote cuz I felt like it. Cassio, Roderigo, and Iago are all from William Shakespeare's play, Othello.
I think I messed up some canonical things...but I'M DELIRIOUS SO YEAH!
Enjoy!! ^^;
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“You’ve got to be kidding me. He did what?”
Iago grinned and drank more of his beer. “You heard me. Right to my face, too.”
The two men sitting across from him looked at him with widened eyes. “Well,” chimed the ginger, clutching his glass anxiously, “what did you do?”
“What do you think I did?” asked Iago, pulling on his scarf with a huff.
“Reported him?” asked the black-haired man.
“Told him off?” asked the ginger.
Iago sighed and shook his head. “The innocence of youth…” he declared dramatically.
“I’M A YEAR YOUNGER THAN YOU.”
“Shut up, Cassio.”
“Um, so what did you do?” the black-haired man interrupted, trying to break up a fight before it started.
Iago blinked for a second, having almost forgotten what they were talking about. “Right, right, sorry, Roderigo,” he said with a laugh. “What I did is what any self-respecting guy would have done.” The other two sat and stared at him in anxious silence. He waited a moment more, then threw his hands in the air with a loud, exasperated sigh. “I punched him in the face! Numbskulls…” he muttered as a side-note.
Cassio, the ginger, lightly whacked Iago with the beer bottle. “I heard that,” he growled.
“Yeah, yeah,” Iago half-responded with a dismissive wave. “Give me that bottle before you hurt someone.”
“Never,” said Cassio with a glare.
Roderigo, obviously the only remaining man, rolled his eyes. “How about you give me the bottle? Both of you are pretty scary when drunk…”
“AM NOT,” was the simultaneous response from both men in question.
“Do you remember the last time we had a little get-together?” asked Roderigo with a sigh.
Iago put a hand under his chin and thought for a minute. “…Not really,” he said at last.
“Well that in itself says something.”
“Shut up, Cassio, you were drunk, too!” Iago retorted immediately.
“I recall you—” Roderigo pointed accusingly at Cassio. “—almost taking my head off with a beer bottle, and you—” This time to Iago. “—running around thinking you were being chased by a giant octopus dragon thing that wanted to eat your soul.”
“Cthulhu is real, dammit!” Iago crossed his arms indignantly.
“I still think we need to limit you two to maybe two glasses a night,” Roderigo said, with a sense of finality to it.
Cassio whacked Roderigo with the bottle now. “Nope,” he said.
“Watch it!” With one swift movement, Roderigo snagged the bottle, whacked Cassio with it, and sat it on the opposite side of him.
“Aww…” Cassio tried his best not to cry.
“How many glasses have you had tonight, kid?” asked Iago, grinning.
Cassio glared at him. “Don’t call me kid!” he shouted. “And…four…maybe five…”
“Right, no more for you.” Iago turned to Roderigo. “This, however,” he said, extending his glass, “is only my second glass. Roderigo?” He gave a most convincing grin.
“No.”
“Screw you.”
“Love you too, man.” Roderigo poured himself another glass.
Cassio, seeming to have gotten over the lack of beer, put his hands behind his head. “Speaking of love, how go things with Emilia, Iago?”
Iago slammed his glass on the table. “God, I hate her.”
“Why’d you marry her, then?” Roderigo asked, taking a sip.
“Parents wanted me to,” he said with a sigh. “Last time I ever listen to them.”
Cassio’s eyes widened a bit. “I didn’t know your marriage was arranged.”
“Come on, Cassio, shouldn’t you know me by now?” Iago said, his grin still there but very faded. “I’m not one for commitments, you know. If I had my way, it’d be a long time before I ever married.”
“And then you could be like Othello!” Roderigo choked back a laugh.
“No. Where’s that beer bottle? I need to whack you with it.”
Cassio turned to Roderigo then. “I heard Othello’s been courting Desdemona. Are you…alright with that?”
Roderigo’s face went red a bit, and he glanced away. “Not…really…” he said quietly. “But there’s not much I can do, right?”
“She’s half his age! Not even! Has she even reached twenty yet?” Iago butted in angrily. “I think that’s just kinda wrong.”
“Maybe her father will stop it,” said Cassio with a retired sigh. “Whatever happens, we have to support it, right, Iago?”
Iago mumbled something about how stupid his stupid job was.
Roderigo coughed quietly. “So…” he began. “…How about you, Cassio? Anyone special in your life?”
“No.”
“He just likes frequenting the whorehouse, Roderigo. Geez,” Iago laughed.
“I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!”
What happened next was hard to describe. It started with Cassio tackling Iago to the ground, then Iago fought back and somehow Cassio ended up colliding with Roderigo, and the open beer bottle spilled all over the floor, and someone (probably Cassio) shouted something about saving the beer, so the fight was postponed to do just that.
After about ten minutes of mopping, the three finally sat back down. “Well, that was fun,” said Iago, the silliest grin you could imagine plastered on his face.
“You’re sure you haven’t reached drunk stage yet?” asked Roderigo, concerned.
“TOTALLY SOBER!” He grinned wider.
“You’re just insane, then…”
“I think I’ve reached drunk stage,” mumbled Cassio, who was all but collapsed on the lounge.
“Aww, poor baby!”
“Iago, I swear to God, I’m going to stab you one of these days.”
“I’d like to see you try!” Iago snickered to himself.
Cassio grabbed a nearby quill and threw it at Iago. It bounced harmlessly off Iago’s forehead. “Asshole,” he mumbled. Cassio just gave him a smug, almost sinister grin.
“That look is kinda creepy, Cassio,” said Roderigo, sighing to himself and wondering why he was friends with these two.
“THIS IS HOW AXE MURDERERS START OUT, YOU KNOW.”
“Chill, Iago, I’m not going to stab you,” Cassio said as he leaned his head back against the lounge. “Though,” he mumbled, “keep making those snarky comments and you might just get a black eye.”
“I’ll sic Cthulhu on you!” Iago shouted.
Roderigo facepalmed. “You’re positive you’re not drunk?”
“I am high off life, my friend!” said Iago with a smile. “It’s the best thing to be!”
“I think those two beers helped a bit…”
Cassio buried his head into a nearby pillow. “What time is it?” he said.
“I dunno, late?” Iago shrugged.
The ginger stuffed his head deeper into the pillow. “Cmh I cmmphm hmph tmmmpht?”
“Come again, Mr. Eloquent?”
He pulled his head out of the pillow. “Can I crash here tonight?”
Iago thought a moment. “…Emilia would throw a fit,” he said. “…So sure!” His grin grew tenfold. “You need to stay, too, Roderigo? Though that means one of us is on the floor…”
“I don’t want to make someone sleep on the floor…”
“You should stay,” mumbled Cassio. “It’d be fun.”
“WE COULD STAY UP ALL NIGHT!”
“Like teenage girls?”
“YEAH, EXACTLY!”
Roderigo rolled his eyes. “Alright, I’ll stay…”
“YEAH!” Iago leapt up. “I’ll get blankets and stuff from the closet! This is gonna be awesome! Woo!” And off he went.
“Sometimes I think he enjoys our company too much,” Roderigo chuckled.
“He’s a good guy,” said Cassio. “He just doesn’t get out much.”
“The married life must suck.”
“Agreed.”
Iago came back with his arms full of blankets and pillows and such, then tossed them all on the floor. “I figured we’d want to sleep in the same room or whatever, so two of us have to sleep on the floor…”
“I call couch.” Cassio stretched out and basically kicked Roderigo onto the ground.
“You’re polite,” muttered Roderigo, rubbing his back. Cassio just grinned. “Could I have a pillow?” Roderigo asked Iago.
“Sure,” Iago said, and he tossed one over.
Roderigo tossed it at Cassio’s face.
“Hey!” It was immediately flung back, but Roderigo deflected it with his arm, and it whacked Iago in the face instead.
“How dare you?” he asked incredulously, grinning and tossing it back at Roderigo. Roderigo caught it, then grabbed another and threw them both at Iago at the same time, only to get pelted in the back of the head with one from Cassio. Soon pillows were flying everywhere, feathers drifting through the air and making a fine mess of things. Cassio was the first to fall.
“Uncle, uncle!” he cried, collapsing back into the lounge. “I give!” Roderigo wasn’t that far behind him, falling backwards onto a blanket and unable to get up due to laughter.
“HA! I WIN!” Iago stood up triumphantly, only to be knocked down by a pillow from Cassio. “Ouch! You ass!”
“We really do act like a bunch of teenage girls,” Roderigo sighed.
Iago grinned again. “Then we’re AWESOME teenage girls, right guys?”
“Shut up, Iago.”
“You shut up, Cassio.”
“Both of you shut up!”
“YOU SHUT UP!”
And so it continued. The “shut up”ing eventually died down when Cassio passed out, and then Roderigo and Iago talked for a little bit before Roderigo crashed too. And Iago wasn’t too far behind. The last thing he remembered thinking before drifting off was that this was the way things should stay, the three of them. He was fine with that.
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Sorry this is lame ^^; I wrapped it up quick cuz I was getting a headache ^^; Anyways, hope you liked the spaz!!
--UM
