[This post is a collab with animelover7310.] :)
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I couldn’t stop thinking about blood.
Yes, I promised Karin. Yes, I promised her I would stop feeding for her, but honestly, I couldn’t TAKE IT anymore. Every time I saw meat, I wanted to tear it apart. Every time I saw a human, all I looked at was their pulsing necks, and listened to their beating hearts from a distance.
Vevila had been the only one helping. She was the only one that could help. Akira said she could but I knew she couldn’t. She didn’t have a desire for blood. Sure, Vevila had a desire for men and their energy, and even though there were other vampires in the club, she seemed the only one interested in helping me. I had no idea why, but she did. I guess I didn’t mind it, the attention she gave me when I sometimes lost control, like when I did with Akira, but it was wrong.
She said she didn’t want me but she did. She took me away from the hotel, in the midst of humans not too far away, and fed on me. Part of me didn’t mind, but part of me did. The only reason why I didn’t mind was because she was using her powers on me.
Maybe. I wasn’t sure.
All I knew at that moment was that I was laying on a bed in my hotel room and Karin was sitting across from me on it. She had given me a glass of water but I didn’t want it.
I couldn't see her face, but her shoulders were obviously trembling. I rolled my bloodshot eyes.
“I'm not cheating on you,” I spat right away, crossing my arms. “So you can quit it with the waterworks, already.”
She pivoted her upper body to face me, her expression incredulous. “You think I'm...because...... Sebastian, I thought you were dead!! I don't care about her,” she cried softly, covering her redding face. This inflicted a sharp pang of guilt within me, but I chose to ignore it.
“Well, guess what, Karin, I was already dying,” I hissed, irritated by how guilty each shedding tear made me. “Vevila was just trying to help me...”
“What do you mean, 'already dying'?” Karin whispered with a sudden intensity that made me look at her. I had never seen her this upset.
“I mean, I've been thirsting for months, and yet you still expect me to keep up this 'vegetarian' bullsh*t!!” I shouted, earning a flinch from Karin. I forgot how sensitive her ears were. She turned away again, but I could tell she was seething. I continued with a lowered voice, but I didn't bother to filter my words. “...You don't understand. Vevila did. But you- you-- you never did anything to help me.”
“Well, I think I just saved your life,” Karin murmured matter-of-factly.
“No, you ruined everything!” I yelled again, and she gripped the downy comforter beneath her. “After Vevila had had her full, she was going to let me feed on her,” I mumbled, embarrassed by how sensual it sounded when coming out of my mouth. “But now I'm hungrier and thirstier than I've ever been in my entire life.” Regrettably, I glanced at the back of Karin's neck as I uttered this.
“And what if she didn't stop?” Karin suddenly shouted back, taking me by surprise. “What if she had just kept on drinking you in until you were nothing but a lifeless sack? 'Whoops, looks like I lost control of myself there,'” Karin's voice imitated Vevila's lustful tone, “'He just tasted so good! Oh well, I guess I'll just go find another snack to play with. I wonder what Germans taste like...' Really, Sebastian, how confident were you that she would keep her end of the bargain?”
“I didn't have any other choice!”
At this, Karin laughed sharply. “What am I to you? Some thing you just kiss and hug whenever the mood suits you?” She turned to face me again as I treated her with silence. “...Are you bored with me?” she suddenly asked, and I looked at her downcast lashes. Her tears had stopped, but her face looked incredibly sad.
“No,” I mumbled, my voice higher than usual. “No, I still love you.” I must not have sounded very convincing, because she stood up and began putting her coat on. “Where are you going?” I called bitterly after her.
Karin turned at the doorway, gazing sadly at me from across the foreign hotel room. “I can forgive you for what happened in that alley,” she said, “But I can't even look at you right now,” and with that, she shut the door on me and her footsteps faded away.
