Day 5: Safety with Sebastian and Nodin (what to do) and Bellinda and Kaki (what not to do)
“Sometimes I get the feeling Akira is eternally trolling us,” Sebastian and Nodin peeked over the rim of their binder at their partners. Nothing scared them more than Bellinda and Kaki… except Bellinda and Kaki working together.
‘Don’t make direct eye contact’ Nodin shoved the note into Sebastian’s hand and bravely walked to the front of the room. Behind him was a meticulously drawn pie chart, complete with the little lift-y flaps. It was also color coded by different brands of cleaning supplies.
“Is Stevie Wonder going to wow us with a charade performance?” Vevila was busy pulling on a set of gloves Colette let her borrow. The little vampire had done more than just lend her some gloves, she had also managed to comb through her long hair and make it into a a series of princess curls.
“Stevie Wonder was blind. Nodin doesn’t talk… idiot.” Sebastian said the last part under his breath, but Vevila still heard him.
“So you think you’re so smart, Edward Cullen. I’ll eat your soul---“
“Hey! What’s going on here?!” For the second time in 3 days, Akira kicked the door off its hinges.
“Stay out of this, Shadow the Hedgehog!” Both Sebastian and Vevila roared.
“Oh h*ll no. You don’t know who you’re messing with.” Akira flipped the dangling straps of her skittle-colored suspenders over her shoulder.
“I think we better leave it here and actually start class. Claire.” Griffin propelled a shy girl forward and nodded at her. She looked back at him and he gave her a thumb up.
“Abracadabra.”
Suddenly everything fell still. Eerily still.
Until Thomas broke the silence.
“So that actually works? Great going Sabrina the Teenage Witch, you just ruined the magic of my childhood. Looks like I better cancel my application to Hogwarts while I’m here painting my wardrobe black and getting tattoos.”
“Huh?” Claire looked at her hands and back to the frozen class. She thought it worked… well it did, sorta.
“Yeah, I’m talking to you hocus pocus. What did you do?” Thomas waved his hand in front of Nai’s porcelain face and poked her cheek.
“Y-y-you must be hu-human.” Claire gulped and lost her concentration. The spell collapsed and everyone who was stuck in suspended animation blinked profusely.
“Uh… can I help you?” Nai scooted away from Tommy’s finger and put a raised folder between them.
“It appears that Griffin has acquired a weapon and I demand a hostage. I’ll take Ash.”
“Over my dead body.” Ash gave her personal creeper the evil eye.
“What happened?” Aerith sat up and yawned. “I had the weirdest dream—just kidding. Looks like it actually happened.” She put her head back down and promptly fell asleep.
“O-kay. Was I the only one who heard abracadabra?” Bridgette rustled her wings and rubbed the goose bumps on her arms.
“Weirdly enough, I did too.” Dante shuddered.
“That’s nice, but quite frankly I’d rather you share your fireside stories for when I don’t have to be here.” Amor flipped a large pair of sunglasses over her eyes.
“She’s right, we’re wasting sunlight here.”Sebastian tucked the binder under his arm and walked over to Nodin and their darkly clothed companions. “Now me and Nodin made a pie chart to short how effective leading name brand disinfectants work better than that ghetto crap Akira buys.”
“Excuse me!” Akira looked ready for a fist fight.
“Shut up, we’re teaching. Like I said, the ghetto crap she buys.” He held up a hand in Akira’s direction and continued. “So in an event to shorten this lesson, we made a 90 in one spray bottle that we’re sure can’t cure cancer and works better than you’d expect. If you have very low expectations. We call it: the Sherpal! It stands for: Standard House Energizer Refrigerator Potato Abraham Lincoln.”
“What the actual fuc-“ Riley’s face mirrored what everyone was thinking.
“Everyone is a critic! How about you try making a product that isn’t already taken. If we add honest Abe to it, no one will steal it because that’d be like… wrong!” The class looked at Sebastian like he had told them he just sent octopi into space. “Anyways, we have Kaki and Bellinda here to show you how to use it in safe, controlled situations. These are all scripted and no one will get hurt- hopefully –and what’s more important is that we don’t try this at home.”
Alice’s hand shot into the air. “But we are home, Sebby.”
“Just watch, okay.”
The lights over the class dimmed and on the four in the front were bathed in light.
“Pretend me and Nodin are walking-“
“With a bucket of cleaning supplies?” Riley arched an eyebrow skeptically. Nodin had a 2 gallon bucket filled with baby wipes, hand sanitizers of every kind, and 409 surface cleaners.
“Okay, have it your way. Before Nodin and I go walking, I-- give me those--- put them down!” Sebastian managed to pry the bucket from ‘Mr.Sick’s’ hands and set it --to Nodin’s extreme horror-- on the ground. “So we’re walking and we come across a---”
“One does not simply ‘come across’ something. I’m sure you’d see it from a long way off.” Locke leaned forward and stroked his hairless chin. It was so soft and smooth, not even the faintest hint of peach fuzz could grow there. “Continue you with your contradictory story.”
“Just let me FINISH.” Sebastian’s eyes flashed a terrifying shade of maroon. “If I say we’re going walking and I happen to see something, then I just happened to @*%(^!* see something! Got it? Right.” He straightened up and brushed imaginary flecks off his shirt. “Glad we cleared that up. So, Nodin and I are walking and we see a woman, Kaki, with a knife in her hand standing over a victim, Bellinda. What do Nodin and I do?”
“Do NOT tap that! Trust me, I know.” Travis cautioned.
“Stop, drop, and roll?” Violette raised a tentative hand.
“Pop, lock, and drop it?” Emery coughed into his hand.
“Do the Harlem Shake? Or the Cupid Shuffle?” Bridgette flipped through some make-shift notes someone had scrawled before class. “Wait, why are all of these song lyrics?!”
“Hey! That’s mine!” A gloved hand reached over and snatched the book from her.
“I tried. I really did.” Sebastian threw his paper and binder in the air. “I’m done.” The vampire slammed the door on his way out.
“So… do I get to stab anyone?” Kaki waved the knife around in a dangerous fashion.
“Oh my goodness, put that weapon down before you kill somebody!” Thomas dove under his desk even though he was furthest from the front.
The bell chimed 8:00 and Griffin wondered for the 10th time since breakfast what Akira’s plans were for the upcoming week.
