It's been a few weeks since I posted (other than music and Who news), so I guess it's time for a
What have I been up to lately? Nothing exciting, as usual, but I've been in geek overdrive.
First off, I discovered a new used book shop that opened up just this side of the causeway. After the first visit, I was disappointed to see such a small and piddling SciFi/Fantasy section. But this presented me with an opportunity. Rather than continue to waste space boxing up all the books I didn't want to keep, I packed them all up and over a couple of days took them down to the shop to donate them. So now they have a good deal more scifi and fantasy, and I have clearer shelves, which helps me in the process of not only cleaning my room, but reorganizing what I plan to keep, something that has been impossible since I ran out of free space some time ago.
And now, to the geeking. With Doctor Who over for the season, and next season not expected until late in 2012, I've shifted my major fandom back over to Star Trek. I revived my Next Generation DVDs, and now I have the Nex Gen movie collection as well. I also saved some old Next Gen novels from a box that was meant for the used book shop, and dug out some others from storage. I've also discovered how many Trek books are available on Kindle, even some of the old TOS and TNG novels that would be out of print or hard to find now.
I think the shift to Trek also comes as a reaction to my recent reading. I hate to admit it, but I left The Eye of the World unfinished, because it took so long to read and I wasn't exactly happy with its uneven pace. As a consequence, I've temporarily lost my interest for epic sword-and-sorcery fantasy and would rather let my mind wander in the world of starships and aliens.
I also briefly flirted with a bit of a Batman craze after watching Nostalgia Critic's Top 11 Batman: The Animated Series Episodes video. I finally watched The Dark Knight (killer film), Batman Returns (which, oddly enough, I never had seen til now), started rewatching the animated series, and even tried watching the 2002/2003 Batman-related series Birds Of Prey (not too surprised it got canceled after one season).
The only other thing I can think is worthy to mention is that my uncle took me out to lunch while he was here last weekend. Due to my health problems and anxieties, I haven't eaten out in a sit-down place in years, but it was fun, we went to a place I'd wanted to try for some time, and the food was really good.
I've made a terrible mess of things between myself and people I care about, and I want everyone to know I feel sick about it. I may have ruined things forever, or for a long time, but even so I'm going to come clean.
To Raina: I'm sorry I hid the relationship we had for so long. I don't believe it was out of shame, but fear that I would be forced to make a choice, a choice for some reason I wasn't prepared to make. I'm sorry I talked about you to Katana when our relationship wasn't going well and I felt the need to vent to someone about my frustration at your anxieties and being unable to help you get past them.
To Katana: I'm sorry that I led you along, even though I didn't do it with purpose or malice. I'm sorry I didn't say from the beginning "I'm flattered, but..." when you told me of your feelings. I'm sorry I betrayed your faith in me, especially when I'd been there for you at a time when you were coming out of one hurt, only to eventually lead you into another.
This may sound lame, but both of you are special to me indifferent ways, and I think that's why I tried to avoid a choice of one or the other. I guess I've proved even at my age, I still have a lot of maturing to do to handle a relationship. Well, I guess this is that maturing, only in the worst way possible.
I don't feel very good about myself these days. I hope this admission can begin some healing in all this. I think it's best I spend some time away from here for now...
While a few of you might know, most probably don't that I have been in a relationship with fellow member Raina for a few years now. I wanted to keep things private, but this might have also had a damaging effect because there have been feelings that I was perhaps ashamed of letting people know. I also don't want anyone to possibly hate Raina because they think I am or should be involved with someone else. She feels there's been some ill feelings toward her that have driven her off the site for the most part.
I should have said something about this a lot sooner to prevent a lot of hurt feelings.
So there's the simple explanation. I don't want to accuse anyone of anything without proof, because that's not how I am. But its past time that the air was cleared.
As Ducky recently pointed out in her comment, I don't want anyone to badmouth anyone else over this since I haven't told the whole story, and I don't want to in order to prevent what would likely be a worse situation.
If you want to badmouth anyone, go ahead and do it to me, because I'm the jerk and coward who let this all go on as long as it has, and I couldn't feel any worse than I already do.
I hope I haven't disappointed any of you. I'm only human, and we all make mistakes, sometimes pretty serious ones.
So I had to go back to the dentist today to get the decay issues taken care of. I thought maybe it was just a couple of teeth, but I guess it was more widespread, because work was done on practically the entire upper row. So I've had my teeth filled in and ground down where needed. I'm slowly getting back to normal; the left side of my upper lip is still puffy from the Novocain.
Season 3, on DVD. Boo-yah.
Speaking of Castle, I saw the Derrick Storm graphic novel from the Season 3 finale in the bookstore. First the Nikki Heat books get published for real, and now this. CASTLE BREAKS THE FOURTH WALL OF REALITY!
I also have a larger litter box for Pond, because she's getting a bit big for the other one, as evidenced this weekend when she missed the mark... >>; The old one will go over to grandma's house, so she has a toilet for the times we take her there.
EDIT: WE ARE MADE OF FAIL
For about a month, the breaker for our kitchen and dining room lights has been busted, and dad has repeatedly failed to take the time to repair it. Well, no one bothered to give a thought about the big freezer in the laundry room, which for some reason is on the same circuit. I guess it was a well-sealed freezer, because it's been off the whole time and we never smelled anything. Unfortunately... >>;