bwahaha! It's Deidara's gift from Tobi! Here's the description: Deidara looked at the statue and somehow managed to choke back the horrified scream that threatened to tear out of his throat again. An effigy of himself stood there in the middle of the room, stark naked. The statue was set in a languorous pose, hips jutting to one side while his arms held something that looked like a handful of clay. The head was tilted contemplatively to the side, eyes focused on the clay, lips slightly pursed. And down below, between his legs, was the most disturbing looking thing Deidara had ever seen. Tobi had covered his privates with some sort of malformed underwear crafted from clay animal models. Lizards and fish and birds entwined and melded to form some kind of covering, which wouldn�t have been so bad if the bird�s head wasn�t jutting out right there. It looked like he had a bird�s head for a phallus. It was horrifying to look at. ---- Then Tobi appears... ---- And then he turned towards Deidara, who�d slumped down against the wall by now, speechless with mortification. �Deidara-senpai,� Tobi said ecstatically. �What do you think? Is it artistic or what?� He gestured excitedly to the atrocious sculpture. �It�s�� Deidara managed to croak, looking nauseous. �It�s�� �You�re speechless with joy, I see,� Tobi gushed, clapping his hands joyfully together. �I�m so glad you like it!� �Tobi, what exactly were you thinking when you did that?� Kisame asked incredulously, pointing to the hideous clay-animal underwear. �Well, I couldn�t possibly sculpt that part of Deidara-senpai,� Tobi said with an embarrassed laugh, putting his hand to the back of his head. �Tobi�s a good boy, not a pervert!� Deidara snapped. �You stupid retard!� he screeched, lunging to his feet and pointing indignantly at the statue�s crotch. �What the hell were you thinking when you replaced my manhood with a freakin� bird? It�s hideous, un!� �Not to mention sacrilegious,� Hidan added. �Defiling the most important part of the Lord�s creation with a fucking seagull.� �Swan,� Tobi corrected politely. Deidara screamed again, this time out of rage, and moved to destroy the clay abomination when the Leader suddenly stopped him. �Wait, Deidara.� The others looked at him curiously. �It�s actually�rather avant-garde,� the Leader said, agreeing with Itachi, staring contemplatively at the statue. �I think this piece would snatch a hefty price at an art auction.� Deidara�s jaw dropped. �Sir, you can�t be serious�� �When it comes to funding this organization,� the Leader said icily, pinning him with his hawkish gaze. �I�m dead serious.� Tobi was on cloud nine. �Sir, you think my statue of Deidara-senpai can be displayed at an art auction?� he asked, sparkly-eyed. �I don�t see why not,� the Leader said shortly, eyeing the sculpture. �People these days have a tendency to mistake crap for art.� �You�re flattering me,� Tobi gushed. Deidara bashed his head against the wall and sobbed. The others merely exchanged looks and filtered out of the room. ----- poor Dei-Dei! I'd hug him if I could. Firefly is a genius, I swear. Go read the fic now! Laugh out loud! XD