Okay, so I’m having a hard time right now. I’m in love and I can never tell this person
1.) They would freak out on me.
2.) This person is my best friend.
3.) I don’t date my friends.
4.) I don’t have the guts to tell them.
5.) I’m not sure I can hold my end of a relationship (like being emotionally there for the other person.)
6.) This person is so amazing! I could never deserve their love, their far to perfect for me.
7.) It would end our friendship if they didn’t feel the same way.
8.) I just got out of a kidda abusive relationship about a year ago. (I never got hit, just a lot of name calling and teasing.)
9.) I tend to lash out on people who try to make me open up. (I built the wall to keep him out- but now I can’t take it down.)
10.) I can be a real jerk sometimes, and don’t want to hurt this person.
I could go on, but these are the big 10 that keep my mouth shut and my heart hurting. It’s gotten to the point that I can’t sleep at night because I’m thinking about them; when I do sleep I dream about them, at school I get so jealous that people are touching them I have to get up and walk away! (I only get so jealous because I keep a strict no touching rule around people I’m physically attracted to, and it’s frustrating seeing people hang all over the person you love and you can’t!) And it’s no easy task to not touch someone who is addicted to hugs- I mean if such a thing as hug rehab existed this person should be cheeked in for the rest of their life! Yes, I’m a bit obsessed with this person, but the obsession takes a back burner to their happiness. I would do anything to make this person happy, I would gladly step aside for someone who could make them happy. I’m not stupid I know I have flaws, I know my flaws may get in the way, and if someone better than me was to come along- I’d let them go if that’s what they wanted, just so I could know they were happy…
I don’t know what to do!!!!