...and off somewhere, Marius destroyed Jacob by using only the amount of awesome stored in this left pinkie finger, Louis and Armand teamed up to find a certain Steph Meyer and Claudia sat Bella down for a nice, long "chat"...

Yes, I understand I am invoking the wrath of a hundred thousand tween-to-teen girls; bring it.

Once upon a time, I too was obsessed with a vampire novel series. It was gripping, it was lustful... it felt forbidden. That series was The Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice. You know... Interview with the Vampire, The Vampire Lestat and Queen of the Damned? Uh-huh. Lestat was an effing rock star and he didn't glitter as much as Cullen and the rest of the Twilight Brigade.

I'm so glad I got my Vampires-Are-Sexy phase over with years ago.

What's with the brick? It's used to keep dead vampires from gnawing on the flesh of the freshly dead upon burial. I'm serious.

For real; in real life.

Cross-posted on deviantART