Just trying to get my head together after the recent loss and everything. It affected me more than I expected... You'd think I'd be used to it by now =^^;= But this time it meant more to me... Probably not just because of the amount of work I put into it, but because what progressing would've meant for me... the chance to finally do what I want to for a living instead of working in retail... And then I found out I didn't progress and I had to go to work the next day and I thought... "And now I still have to work here..."

It's not the worst job in the world... but the longer I work there, the more it's made me realize I can't stay and it's not what I want to do, but in my situation, I cannot easily change jobs as I don't have a car, I have a disabled father, and to be honest, I no longer want to work for anyone else. But it's a matter of trying to figure out how to get from point A to point B that's frustrating and draining... And not knowing when the gears are going to connect and make my life's clock work... is frightening and saddening and makes me want to stop so many times, it's depressing. And I honestly don't know what to do other than to keep doing the only thing I know how... My biggest problems are:

A: Not enough people know who I am (And I don't know how exactly to change that more than what I've been doing...)

and

B: I'm not getting any money at all from my art... (except maybe a few commissions earlier in the year, two of which were from family and coworker) And I'm not sure if it turns people off to beg for money because I know most of us who enjoy reading comics are broke af, but most of us who make the comics are broke af and need money AND time to make the comics people want to read. I have a Patreon, but I was so busy working on the comic when I launched it, I don't think I did very well advertising or setting it up. I am very bad at marketing and quite frankly, my motivation and energy levels have been low lately...

I just... wanna get to a place where I can be better and do what I'm good at and feel safe and be stable, financially, emotionally, mentally, and physically... I'm only 30...