the first one i saw in the paper it was two old men just standing there i did not like dat

(Joke 1)
Some Friend you turned out to be! I was at your Funeral, Why Weren't you at Mine!?

(Joke 2)
(1)And why did you Throw him in again?
(2)He said he can't Swim and I Thought He Wanted to Learn.
(PS)Help Me!