The Birthday of Kyon

“Kyon-kun! Wake up!” My little sister cried, shaking me from my deep slumber. “Wake up, Kyon-kuuun!”

I sighed, sitting up. I had been dreaming about sweet Asahina-san before I was rudly awakened, so I was feeling a little grouchy. "What do you want with me? It’s six thirty in the morning. Go away."

My little sister smiled. “Happy Birthday, Kyon!” she cheered, waving her hands in the air and hugging me. “You’re seventeen today! Yay! Yay! Soon you’ll be off to college!”

I stood up. "Go away." I sighed. "Now that I’m up, I have to get ready for school."

“Kay, Kyon-kun!”

Geez, that kid can be cheerful in the morning.

So I headed off to school by seven thirty. The hill climb wasn’t as bad as it usually was………Maybe it was because of the dampness in the air. Hell, the sun was hardly climbing into the sky. You must be tired to, Mr. Sun.

“Hey! Kyon! Happy birthday!” Tanaguchi yelled, running up to me from the top of the hill.

"Wait, what in hell are you doing at school so early? Shouldn’t you still be asleep?"

“Touche, my fine friend! I am here because I remembered it was your birthday! Now, where is your school locker again?” He yelled happily. Even this guy, who is my age, can be so energetic in the morning. Maybe it’s just me who can’t seem to get energetic until noon?

Wait a minute. "You’re not decorating my locker."

“Aww, why not, Kyon? And when I came so early to do it!” Tanaguchi screamed, pointing his bandaged finger at me. “Screw you!” He yelled, running back up the hill.

I sighed, slowing down my walking speed. What’s with everyone today?

At eight o’clock on the dot, I entered the classroom.

“SURPRISE!!”

I nearly fell back at the energy in the room. There were streamers, banners, balloons, everything you could possibly imagine for a birthday party. Hell, someone even brought a cake. "What in hell are you doing?"

Okabe-sensei smiled. “We’re throwing you a birthday party, of course! We all came early just to surprise you. Suzumiya-san planned it.”

I immediately swung my head around to look for Suzumiya. She wasn’t anywhere to be seen. "Where is Suzumiya?"

“Apparently, she’s not here, Kyon!” Tanaguchi smiled, glomping me. Get off, pervert!

I almost felt a little sad. I really did want to see what Haruhi would do on my birthday. Wait………She already did this. But she wasn’t here! If you’re going to plan something out, you should be here the day it’s supposed to happen!

Haruhi didn’t show up at all that day. Out of habit, I walked to the clubroom.

Another party awaited me at the clubroom. "Still no Haruhi, huh? Did she plan out this?"

“How did you know, Kyon? Wow, your intellect must be off the charts! Are you a genius or something?” Itsuki smile was plastic. I swear, someday I’ll rip that little plastic smile off your face, you bastard.

I sat down in an empty chair that said the words “KYON!” on it. Well, I wonder whose chair this is.

Suddenly, the door to the clubroom slammed open. I looked up. "Well, you came in late……"

“Shut up, Kyon!”

I couldn’t help but smile. There she was, our stupid leader, coming at me with an angry look on her face……wait, what?

Haruhi stood over me, a menacing look on her face. “You suck, Kyon.” She stated, looming over me.

"How exactly do I suck?"

“Last night I went out to find you a birthday present. I didn’t know how hard you are to shop for!” she yelled, poking my nose. “But I figured out the perfect thing.” She grinned evily.

"If this has anything to do with Asahina, please do not even go there."

“Oh, it doesn’t have anything to do with Mikuru-chan.”

"The way you say it makes it sound exactly like it has something to do with Asahina."

Suddenly, Haruhi’s face was centemeters—millimeters—away from mine. And then she delicatly placed a kiss on my lips. Wait, what in hell are you doing?! The others looked on at the two of us, smiling, and in Asahina-san’s case, giggling uncontrollably.

So, to sum it up, I got the best present ever for my seventeenth birthday.

I got Haruhi.