Matt awoke gasping for air, but where was he? He saw nothing but a blank, white infinite. He was sitting, but on what? The “ground” seemed no different from the endless expanse. Hadn’t he been in his car? His nervous breathing echoed heavily off surfaces he couldn’t see. Slowly, Matt’s left hand moved up to hold his side. He knew he had been injured; the excruciating pain was fresh in his memory, but the wound was gone.
There had been an accident, right? How can that be? The sixteen-year-old ran his hand thoughtfully through his shaggy, dark-blond hair. His breathing finally slowed as he desperately tried to search his memory for a reason.
Matt furrowed his brow, pulled his knees toward his chest, and tried to piece together the events in his head. He was driving home from school. There was another car—a white one. It was out of control. He tried to take the ditch to avoid it, but it swerved into him. He shuddered as he remembered the feeling of terror, the horrible noise, the pain in his side. Suddenly, the realization hit him with nearly as much force as the car moments earlier. In shock, Matt heard himself utter the words aloud, “Oh my gosh… I’m dead.”
His words bounced off the invisible walls, and the sound made him shiver all over, but his attention was shortly diverted to the sound of footsteps drawing near. The steps sounded of a small but quick stride, and they made a clicking noise like a woman’s high heels. Matt spun around to see whose presence accompanied his own in this maddening place.
It was indeed a young woman—and one of great beauty. Her hair was straight and blond, and the long black gown that delicately adorned her thin frame was a violent contrast to the empty white space and to the woman’s own pale skin. Matt could but watch her in awe as she gracefully approached him. She stopped just in front of him, put her hands on her hips, shifted her weight to one side, and smirked arrogantly.
“Matt Jackson,” she spoke with a melodious yet condescending tone, “earlier than expected. Have you figured out why you’re here?”
“Yeah…” Matt answered absently as he tried to analyze the situation. Is this the angel of death? Is it God? He needed a plan. “What do you mean I’m ‘earlier than expected’?” He inquired coolly, “I thought you knew everything. I figured nothing surprised you.”
“I’m not all-knowing, I’m the Grim Reaper.” Her sharp brown eyes narrowed. “Most of the dead don’t dare to speak to me in that manner…”
“I’m not supposed to be here yet. Send me back,” he interjected matter-of-factly.
The woman’s mystical allure faded as her annoyance became apparent. “Who do you think you are?” she demanded with escalating volume, “Yes, you’re dead. I realize how shocking and disturbing that is, but do you believe you’re better than everyone else that comes through here? Do you think you deserve special treatment? Do you honestly feel you’re in a position to order me around?!”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Matt mumbled emptily as he rose to his feet, “I guess… I’m just not ready. I’m sixteen years old; I haven’t lived my whole life! I was on track to be valedictorian of my class, I was planning to go to college, and… I’ve never even kissed a girl!” He looked up at the Reaper pitifully, “Please, just send me back? Please just let me live, I’m begging you here! That accident wasn’t even my fault! Besides, it’s a mistake that I’m here at all, right?”
“Well, Mr. I-Know-Everything, it’s your lucky day,” the Grim Reaper replied with a mischievous smirk, “Here’s what I’m going to do for you: I’ll send you back to Earth as a wandering spirit; but you’ll be visible for a few hours each day. During that time, you’ll need to find a girl to kiss. After you get your first kiss, you’ll come straight back here and go quietly with me, understand?” She chuckled to herself, pleased with her scheme.
Matt was mortified. Wandering around in limbo questing for a meaningless kiss was certainly not what he had in mind! “No, no, no, never mind. I’ll just come with you now…” he stammered with a nervous smile, “I was just kidding, really.”
“Sorry, but you asked for it… in more ways than one,” the Reaper laughed, “I guess you shouldn’t have been so whiny about it!”
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry I questioned your authority, I’m sorry I whined, and I promise I’ll go with you right now and won’t say another word!” Matt pleaded. As an afterthought, he added, “You have really pretty hair; I’ve always liked blonds...”
“Very charming, but your fate has been decided. I’ll see you when you manage to find some poor, misguided girl to kiss you… if you even can.” The Reaper cackled madly as she turned to walk away.
“No! No, please!” Matt tried to chase after her, but he couldn’t get any traction on the white plane. He watched helplessly as the Grim Reaper disappeared from sight. “Please don’t do this! I’m sorry!”
She vanished. As Matt stared dejectedly into the empty void, nothing could be heard but the sound of his own panicked breathing. Suddenly, the white infinite around him began to change. The reality surrounding him started to ripple and shift—as if someone had thrown a handful of rocks into a stagnant puddle—and it began to melt away to reveal the skyline of Matt’s own hometown. He tightened his fists in frustration; yelling, “Fine!! I don’t care! It won’t take any time at all!” Hot tears started to run down his cheeks as he screamed. “And I prefer brunettes anyway!!”
