In the beginning, when Shiggy Lemons created the Land of Moe, the land was a formless vacuum, devoid of glasses characters and maid outfits, and the Lord Shiggy Lemons swept the Wind of Moe upon the land.
Then the Lord of Moe said, "Let there be Moe"; and there was Moe. And Shiggy Lemons saw that the Moe was good; and Shiggy Lemons separated the Moe from the Fail. Amen, hallelujah, peanut butter.
And, lo, the Lord of Moe did stand high upon the Mountain of Moe with the Staff of Moe. And perched upon the Staff of Moe was the Holy Cowbell of Moe. "Let the plants of Moe grow and spread throughout the Land of Moe," Shiggy Lemons said. And Shiggy Lemons did wave the Staff of Moe, and lo, the grass grew, the roses bloomed and trees sprouted fruit. And it was good.
"The Land of Moe doth desire animals to run through its fertile plains," the Lord of Moe mused. And He did wave the Staff of Moe and animals appeared -- numerous nekos, and foxy kitsunes and bodacious bunnies. And they were good and hopped about the Land of Moe.
"Lo, my land doth need people to spread the Moe," said the Lord of Moe. And it was so. Shiggy Lemons waved His Staff of Moe once again and created a man from the Moe grass and dirt, in the image of Moe.
And he was Moe.
"I dub thee 'Kamina,'" the Lord of Moe said. And Shiggy Lemons decided Kamina needed a woman to help him spread the Moe, and he created a woman from a piece of Kamina's sunglasses.
And she was Moe.
"I dub thee 'Mikuru,'" the Lord of Moe said, "Be fruitful and multiply, and spread the Moe across the land."
And together they spread the Moe across the Land of Moe, being unashamed of their Moe. And, lo, they did spread the Moe with the help of their theme song, "Koi no Mikuru Densetsu." They splashed in the Stream of Moe, clad in the Beachware of Moe used for Special Moe Beach Episodes. And it was Moe.
"THERE IS ONLY ONE RULE IN THE LAND OF MOE," Shiggy Lemons, who knew caps lock was cruise control for cool, said. "Do not pick the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Hawtness and Greater Hawtness, because thou shalt lose thine Moe. And it will not be good."
But the tentacle monster was more crafty than any Moe creature the Lord of Moe had made; in reality, it was the Lord of the Fails. It whispered menacingly to Mikuru, sliding tentacles here and there while it spoke, "Hey, babe, so Lord Moe said not to eat any of the fruit from that tree there?"
"Y-y-y-yes," Mikuru said, squirming away from the many-tentacled creature.
"Why?" the Lord of the Fails asked.
"Because," Mikuru said, with her head down; she stepped from side to side nervously, "the Lord of Moe said to eat the fruit is not Moe."
"But look at the fruit," the tentacle monster said. "Is it not Moe?"
Mikuru looked at the fruit. And she saw that it was Moe.
"Yes," the Lord of the Fails said. "The fruit is Moe -- partake in the fruit, and you shall know Hawtness like the Lord of Moe."
Mikuru did eat the fruit. And she gave some to Kamina, who was with her, and he ate the fruit. And it was Moe.
The juice of the fruit slid slowly out of their mouths and down their bodies. And their eyes were opened and they saw each others' Hawtness. Kamina saw Mikuru's luscious figure; Mikuru saw Kamina's GARness. And they knew they were Hawt.
Mikuru sewed a cape and pants for Kamina and a maid outfit for herself. They heard the sound of the Lord of Moe walking through the Land of Moe, and they hid in the Bushes of Moe.
The Lord of Moe called out to them, "Where are my Moe children?"
"I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid of you because of my GARness, and I hid myself," Kamina said.
"Who told thou of your GARness?" Shiggy Lemons demanded. "Did you eat from the forbidden tree from which I forbade you to eat the forbidden fruit?"
"Mikuru gave me the fruit," Kamina said. "I believed in her who believed in the Moe of the fruit."
Then the Lord of Moe said, "What is this thou hast doneth?"
"The tentacle monster t-tr-tr-tricked me," Mikuru said, shielding her eyes.
"TENTACLE MONSTER," the Lord of Moe shouted. "Because you have done this, cursed are you among all creatures. You shall star in a series of low budget, exploitative hentai features, and thou shalt become a joke on Internet message boards, lowlier than the lowest of memes."
"Lower than Goatse?" the tentacle monster said.
"Lower than Goatse and Tubgirl combined," Shiggy Lemons boomed. And the Lord of the Fails was humiliated.
To Mikuru, the Lord of Moe said, "I shall pair thou with a lead character who will grope you repeatedly, and it will cause you much grief. But it shall be Moe."
And Mikuru did squeal.
To Kamina, the Lord of Moe said, "Because you have listened to the voice of Mikuru and ate from the tree which I said, 'Do not eat from this tree,' you shall be condemned to [SPOILERS CENSORED TO AVOID THE WRATH OF FANGIRLS AND FANBOYS EVERYWHERE]. And it will not be Moe."
"Now the man and woman are like me, knowing of Hawtness and Greater Hawtness," the Lord of Moe said. "This is not Moe. They must be cast from the Land of Moe."
And the Lord of Moe did cast Kamina and Mikuru from the Land of Moe.
"GTFO," the Lord of Moe bellowed. And, lo, they did GTFO.
And it was Moe.
