Robbing Banks
“It’s time to do something daring,” Rex declared. He was stood in the centre of a gathering of bored and somewhat dispirited ninjas. They continued to look bored and dispirited even as they turned to stare at him.
“What do you have in mind, exactly?” asked Ivan. He was sat nearest to Rex since the two were best friends.
“Err…” Rex looked lost and so stared at the wall in front of him, as if seeking inspiration. “I…don’t know.”
“We could try robbing a bank,” a new voice stated, punctuated by the sound of a door closing behind it.
“Leader!” There was the sound of a general scrambling as all the ninjas got their feet and bowed in respect. The person who had entered the room was Dranzer, their creator and ruler.
She smiled at the ninjas. “At ease gentlemen,” she said, before walking over to a chair and being seated. She placed her ankles on the table in front of her and put her arms behind her head in a gesture of utter nonchalance.
“Rob a bank?” Rex walked over to his leader and stood opposite her, behind the table.
“Seriously?” Ivan asked, moving forward so that he was stood next to Rex.
“Well, why not?” Dranzer moved her feet off the table and leaned forwards, resting her elbows on it instead. “I mean we are evil, and we do have a reputation to uphold.”
“In that case shouldn’t we do something a bit more dramatic?” Tamaki said, from across the room. He was one of the more outspoken ninjas, believing himself to be intellectually superior to everyone, including Dranzer. “Maybe something more in line with the role of our organisation, perhaps?”
“My organisation! And yes it would be nice to do something like that. But to do so we need funding to get the items we will require. It is not going to be as easy as walking into the Justice League Headquarters, for example, and killing them. We will need technology to surprise them with, and to get the technology we need money. a good place to find money is in a bank. Et thus” Dranzer grinning evilly, “we return to my suggestion of robbing a bank.”
There was a deafening roar of applause as all the ninjas, except Tamaki, marvelled and paid tribute to the ingenuity of their leader.
“That is very logical,” Tamaki said, when the applause had died down. “But won’t we need some of this ‘technology’ to break into the bank in the first place?”
“Well…” Dranzer looked up at the ceiling for a second. “We already sort of have that.” She turned to look back at Tamaki, a smile on her face. “Robbing a bank was also the dream of my late father, and so there are more than enough objects lying around my office that we can use to ensure this mission is a success.”
“And they are still in good working order, are they?” Tamaki seemed determined to throw spanners in the workings of Dranzer’s plans and it was causing her eyebrow to twitch uncontrollably.
“Yes they are!.” Dranzer got to her feet and turned to walk out of the office. “If anyone wants adventure then come with me. Tamaki can stay here and watch over the spiders.” Dranzer grinned even though she knew Tamaki couldn’t see her face. “They are hungry so they should be more than enough to keep you busy for the next few hours.” With that said she left the room, followed by the rest of the ninjas. None of them found the idea of being left in the mansion with Tamaki, or twenty-two hungry giant spiders, practically appealing.
About an hour later all the relevant looking equipment had been gathered and the small bank robbing contingent was stood outside the First National Bank of England. It was dark now with only a few street lights illuminating the area. In this twilight darkness the bank looked immensely imposing.
“So what now?” asked Rex. They had been staring at the bank for about ten minutes and he was getting nervous. “I mean, we might start to attract attention if we stay like this for much longer!”
“He’s right. Those rough looking gentlemen down the street have been eyeing you for a while,” Ivan added, watching the aforementioned rough looking gentlemen.
“They are probably wondering why I am stood in front of the bank talking to myself,” Dranzer replied, smiling. Her ninjas were invisible to all but those people who wore glasses, and since the rough looking gentlemen prided themselves on the fact they were be-speckled, they were unable to see the ninjas.
“Still…don’t you think we should get to work?” Ivan turned away from the men and looked back at his leader. ‘She looks nearly as imposing as the bank,’ he thought to himself.
“Ok then” Dranzer knelt down and rummaged through the bag of objects they’d had brought with them. She picked out a grappling hook and examined it. “I guess we should start by using this to get on to the roof.” She stood up again and started to swing it around above her head. There was the sound of breaking glass from down the street as one of the rough looking gentlemen dropped his beer in surprise. Apparently a grappling hook wielding woman was not a common sight around this establishment.
“Hyaa!” Dranzer threw the hook upwards and it caught on the gargoyle that was camped on the roof. “Awesome.” She pulled on the rope, testing its strength and then grabbed the bag of objects, slinging it over her shoulder so that her arms weren’t compromised.
“I am going to climb as far as that window,” she pointed to one of the second floor windows. “From there I will try and gain entry into the bank. You guys wait down here and I will let you in through the front door.”
“You sure this is a good idea?” Rex was looking up and down the street nervously. A few minutes ago, the rough looking gentlemen had backed away quickly and raced down the street. Rex believed it was unlikely that they had simply gone to get more beers. “Maybe we should come back another day?”
“It’s a bit late now! Plus, even if we are going to leave I need to get the grappling hook back. My dad didn’t exactly collect them you know.” She began her ascent up the bank, using the gaps between bricks as foot and hand holds. The ninjas remained on the ground, watching both Dranzer and the road nervously.
The ninjas quickly became so absorbed by the sudden gathering of rough looking gentlemen at the end of the street that they didn’t hear the sound of glass being cut. Nor the noise of the grappling hook hitting the ground next to them a few seconds later.
“Do you think this is going to be a problem?” Pedro asked, glancing at Rex nervously. “They look awfully like a gang. A gang that likes to cause trouble for single ladies on the street…even one’s that attack banks!”
“I don’t know,” Rex turned to Ivan. “Do they remind you of plain clothed police officers?”
“A little,” Ivan answered. “If that is the case we could be in trouble.” He turned back to the bank and saw that neither the hook, nor his boss, were anywhere to be seen. “Erm…I think we lost Dranzer.”
“What?!” The ninjas turned back towards the bank in unison, worry clouding their features.
“She can’t have gone far.” Pedro held up the grappling hook with something approaching pride. “She’s left this behind.”
“She must be in the bank then.” Rex glanced back down the road and saw that the rough looking gentlemen were heading their way. “Don’t look now guys but we have company.”
All the ninjas turned away from the bank and looked down the road. There was an audible intake of breath as they considered their options.
“Well none of them are wearing glasses,” Ivan observed. “That should mean that we can just defeat them, rescue the boss from the bank, and get out of here before the real cops show up.”
There was a general murmur of consent as the ninjas rushed towards the rough looking gentlemen and got to work. It was the first time any of them had really used their training, so they found the experience somewhat liberating. Ten minutes later the ninjas stopped and admired their handiwork.
“Perfect,” Ivan said, grinning.
“Better than I could have imagined,” Rex agreed.
The other ninjas murmured their agreements too. That was, until they heard the sound of sirens in the distance.
“Blast! I think we attracted some attention,” stated Pedro.
“It probably wasn’t us as such, but the men who were suddenly flailing around for no reason.” Rex laughed as he spoke, imagining the scene from an outsider’s perspective.
“In that case maybe it isn’t actually the cops,” Ivan said, looking thoughtful. “If all the witness saw was some rough looking gentlemen flailing around, then isn’t it likely that they will put this down to some form of virus, and call the ambulance instead?”
“Regardless of who, or what, they called we have to get the Boss out of here now!” Rex ran back towards the bank as the sound of the sirens grew louder. “Dranzer?” He banged on the door. “Boss, we need you to get out of here right now. There is trouble on the way!”
“Trouble?” a voice on the other side of the door queried. “OK, just give me a minute.” There was the sound of cursing and fumbling as Dranzer tried to work out how to escape from the inside of a locked bank. After several failed attempts she managed to get the key, which she had discovered in a posh desk on the second floor, to work in the lock and pulled open the heavy wooden door.
She was about the celebrate with the ninjas when spotlights lit up the area and she was temporarily blinded.
“Blast! So much for plan A!” she muttered, just before a heavy voice commanded her to drop everything and lay on the ground.
“Gomen,” she said, squinting into the lights. “But I have something in the oven and have to leave, right now.” She winked, then turned and dashed for the safety of her vehicle. She wasted no time in starting the engine and roaring into the road. She knew the police would make a mad dash to their own cars. She also knew that the ninjas had carefully disabled them earlier. And so she was safe in the knowledge that she had got off Scott-free, and would be able to plan another daring raid in the near future.
Glowing from the adventure she reached forward and turned on her car radio. After a little deliberation she settled on sharing the joys of Access - Truth and Doubt with the locals, then sat back and enjoyed the ride.
