I’ve been into gaming since I was about 9, when my Dad bought me an N64. This was my first game system, and I loved it a lot. I played it during a lot of my free time, and I’d invite friends over to play too. I used it up until I was about 12, when my Dad decided it might be a good idea to get a bit of an upgrade. So with that, we split the cost of a ps2 (this was back when it was still $400 Canadian), and I got myself a new game system.

I’d never thought much of being a girl gamer. To me, it was rather normal. I hung out with the boys and we’d all just play video games together. Gender was never an issue. At 12, I went into grade seven, my first year of Jr. High, still as big of a gamer as ever. It never occurred to me that I might be criticized for my choice of hobbies outside of school, and so I would still hang out with a few of my friends from elementary, and a few new friends too, and talk about video games. As I expanded my friendship circles, I realized that none of my new girl friends ever talked about video games. In fact when I myself talked about them, I was shocked that they really had no idea what I was talking about.

Finally, I was told that it was rather weird for me to enjoy video games as a pastime. “They must be joking” I thought to myself. Over the years I’d had a lot of fun playing these video games, and they’d become a rather happy part of my childhood. I didn't understand why these girls saw that playing video games suddenly made me less feminine than they were. I also got to hear a lot of the phrase “It’s just not normal.” Obviously, I began to rethink my love of video games.

I thought about who I wanted to be, and how I wanted to be that person. I came to the conclusion that I shouldn’t change myself in order to fit in. I decided that my friends could either accept me, video games and all, or they never really were my friends to begin with. Luckily, they chose to accept me, and stopped teasing me for my love of video games—for the most part.

In grade 8, my friend got a ps2, online ready. So he bought SOCOM, hooked it all up, and I went over to his house to play it. I was amazed at the staggering amount of male gamers that would turn on their teammate as soon as they heard that teammate’s rather female voice enter their headphones. I was harassed verbally, accused of being ‘a little prepubescent boy’ or ‘chick’, or just another wannabe gamer-girl among other things. I was told I had no idea what I was doing, and I really should go somewhere else if I wasn’t going to be useful. Some would only hear me speak once, and they would turn around and shoot me, so I couldn’t do any damage.

A few guys were nice enough, and offered to help me get better. I was even offered the chance of joining a clan. But I’m actually very sure that this was only because of the fact that I was a girl. If I was new to SOCOM, and a boy, I’m positive that I would have had to learn the ropes and get better all on my own. Okay, yeah, I’m pretty much a bad person for saying that. Not all boys that play online games or games in general are sexist, or think that they’re better than female gamers. But I am saying that there are enough boys like that out there, to make the gaming experience somewhat… lesser.

I know there are lots of girls everywhere that enjoy video games on a normal basis, and not all, but many of them, will go through a lot of the same things I have, until they can prove they are ‘hardcore’ enough for the rest of the gaming world. But I think my biggest problem is why should they have too?

Honestly. Just because I’m a girl, should I have to try thirty times harder so I can be accepted in the gaming community? I don’t think so. Should we be criticized, and accused of being too tom-boyish because we like the games with shooting and gore? Because we play army games and like them? I’d like to think that the answer to all of those questions would be no. Yeah, it is unconventional, no; female gamers won’t be completely accepted right away. But it shouldn’t be this bloody hard for them to become a normal part of gaming culture.

Alright, I’ll admit it. I never did end up gaining the credibility to call myself a SOCOM pro, that was only outcast from the group for my… femaleishness, inverted genitalia, or what have you. But I wasn’t completely useless, and if some people would’ve looked past my… “gender disadvantage”, maybe they would’ve seen that.

These days, it’s more of the same. Gears of War, Halo 3, Call of Duty 4 and whatever else. Shooting games are not, nor will they probably ever be, my gaming forte. But I try, and I have fun. I know I make mistakes and I laugh at myself when I do. Because as gamers, that’s what we do, right? Trial and error. See what works for us, and above else, we play to have fun. Video games are fun, and nobody should ever try and make you think that they’re anything else. Video games, much like the internet, are really NOT serious business.

I came to realize, after joining this community, that there were a whole lot more female gamers out there then I thought. It was such a cool discovery for me, after feeling so alienated for some time. I’d have to recommend to every girl that reads this, and that hasn’t ever tried a video game, to go ahead and do it. It’s fun. It’s good for you. I think you’ll like it. And maybe not one of those ‘shoot-em-up-destroy-everything-in-sight’ type games, necessarily. Perhaps a nice RPG?! I can recommend quite a few of my personal favourites.

Boys- I know you love to be the gaming pros, and that some of you are not all that into the ideas of girls entering your territory. Get over it. Because it’s going to happen, no matter what you want. (Note: Keep in mind I’m not directing this at all boys. Just that there are a few of you who are still coming to terms with this whole thing. You know who you are.)

Girls- Don’t worry about what boys or friends think. If you’re lucky, you might even convert a few of your girlfriends to game if you keep on them about it. Or if you’re really lucky, you’ll have some girlfriends who already do like to game! Basically- do what you love, or if you haven’t yet experienced the greatness that is gaming, what are you waiting for?!

(Written in 2006 and revamped)