Now, I am all about Anime Equal Opportunity: I never judge a dub until I hear it. Sometimes, dubs have been really good. The 4Kids dub of Yu-Gi-Oh was better than the original, if I do say so myself. Every voice in the dub was unique, which is more than you can say for the sub. Yu Yu Hakusho was also really well done. Each voice fit the personalities of the main characters. Characters sounded Spanish, Irish, scary, bubbly, calm, angry, stupid and every color in between. Ever since Yu Yu Hakusho, I’ve loved FUNimation dubs because they seemed to always fit voices to characters as best as they could. Spiral was well done, as was Full Metal Alchemist. While most people refuse to even dubs, I say, “don’t judge an anime by it’s company.” I always try to hear a dub and sub before I make a decision to like or dislike it.

But the one thing I cannot accept is FUNimation’s dub of Ouran High School Host Club.

My friends got me into OHSHC about a year ago now. I read the manga online because America is too slow with their translations. I managed to finish the anime during Christmas break; shortly after that it was licensed by FUNi and it was removed from Veoh. I may not like where the manga is going, but I loved the anime; it was short, sweet, and to the point. Since I heard FUNimation got a hold of it, I was excited to see how it would turn out…until I started hearing the rumors that everyone wanted Vic Mignogna to do Tamaki.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love Vic. I love what he did as Ed Elric, he did Ura Urashima in Yu Yu Hakusho, and I enjoy his part as Dark Mousy. He comes to our Boise, Idaho anime convention every spring. He’s a funny guy with perfect hair. But Vic’s voice is just not perfect for Tamaki Suou. Before I watched the OHSHC dub, just picturing Ed Elric having a Tamaki “freak out” just sent chills down my spine, along with my friends’ spines.

It seems to me that Caitlin Glass just went into OHSHC thinking, “wow, my first directing job…let’s bring back the cast of Full Metal Alchemist!” Do any of you know how depressing it is to look at an FMA calendar with Winry, Roy, Ed, and Al on it and know that those are the same voices that will be in your favorite anime? It makes your stomach sink. Justin Cook, how I miss your directing…

Let’s use Haruhi as an example: the female character that isn’t really gender specified. We all know she’s a girl, but she can pass off looking/sounding like a guy, which is what the sub does. Caitlin Glass did a good job of sounding like a guy…in the first five minues. Literally. At 5:23 seconds, Haruhi started to sound like a girl and continued to do so throughout the entire anime, until the last two minutes.

They also completely redid the opening and ending themes. Why would you even touch the themes when thousands of fans already loved it the way it was? Yu Yu Hakusho’s redone themes were wonderful. Spiral’s themes weren’t even touched, which was fun. Full Metal Alchemist’s weren’t touched either. Have we really become so dumb as anime fans that we can’t recognize when people are singing in Japanese? Or themes have to be redone for some odd reason?
Did the people who sang the Ouran theme remixes even know how to sing? I’m a music major and those songs hurt my ears with how out-of-tune they were.

Furthermore, I think to be a dub voice actor, from now on, it should be required that you have at least two years of Japanese. No wonder con noobs run around screaming “Ka-way naco desu!” Our dubs don’t pronounce Japanese properly in the first place. Tamaki’s name sounded oddly like “tamahawk” every time someone said it. Hearing that made me flinch and scream. Hekaroo is not his name, by the way. It’s Hikaru. And “Haru-CHAN?” I can’t even describe how wrong that “-chan” was, except it was loud, obnoxious, and totally mispronounced. Did you voice actors also know that “senpai” is with an ‘n’ not an ‘m’? And we can leave in the second ‘o’ in Ootori. It’s okay, our brains won’t break.

If I had had my fan way with OHSHC, I might have cast John Burgmeier as Tamaki. While I can’t exactly imagine him having Tamaki freak outs, he can at least sound sophisticated, which is what Tamaki is. Greg Ayres would have done both twins. They’re supposed to sound exactly the same, hence the “Guess which one is Hikaru” game. Jerry Jewell would have also made a good twin or twins. Chuck Huber might have done Kyouya, because he can pull off evil characters really well (Hiei) and Kyouya is the Shadow King. If Aaron Dismuke hadn’t aged at all, he would have been perfect for Hunny, but alas…I don’t really know who could have done Mori. Either Chris Sabat or Justin Cook, but that wouldn’t have been the perfect fit. Chris Sabat was cast perfectly as Kasanoda, and if Justin Cook were able to make his voice slightly deeper and rougher, then it would fit Mori. Cynthia Cranz would make the perfect Renge because she’s already played bubbly (read: crazy) characters before. Or Caitlin could do Renge, because I hate Renge. Seriously, her Japanese laugh makes me grate my teeth together.

And finally, FUNi is charging highway robbery just for these first 13 episodes. $60 for two disks with 13 episodes? No way. The Yu Yu Hakusho rerelease boxsets are selling for cheaper than that. Heck, I’ve bought previous DVDs that have 14 episodes on two disks for $20. The Ouran “boxset” is basically selling for more than $5 an episode. It’s not worth it.
I sometimes wish anime worked like Disney did: when Disney created cartoons, they made the characters fit the voice or vice versa. When animes are voiced nowadays, it’s just, “hey, let’s put this actor here because we can!” Yes, I know they’re audition, but it just doesn’t sound that way anymore. My friend is a big fan of Ookiku Furikabutte, and we both fear what FUNimation will do to this anime next. Again, I say, “I miss you, Justin Cook.”